When people first step into supervision, there’s often an unspoken assumption: if you pay attention, if you observe closely enough, you’ll catch issues early and fix them. Supervision, then, becomes a matter of having really good eyesight (see what I did there?).
But the longer I sit in a mid-level role, the more I realize that supervision is far less about what you can see and far more about how you interpret, respond, and sometimes… tolerate what you can’t change.
Supervision Depends on Where You Sit
One of the most humbling realizations I’ve had is that my experience as a supervisor is not universal – it’s contextual. My supervisor once held a role similar to mine, but their experience is fundamentally different from mine today. Even in the same institution, the context has shifted.
One of the biggest misconceptions about mid-level leaders is that we are making the decisions. Often, we’re not. Our role is to interpret, communicate, and implement. We may be in the meetings, but we are not the primary decision-makers – and sometimes, even senior leadership is navigating constraints that limit their ability to decide freely. For Residence Directors, that same dynamic shows up differently. You’re often the one translating those decisions directly to student staff while managing the day to day impact in real time. This reality shapes how we supervise, regardless of our level in the organization. We’re often holding decisions we didn’t make, explaining the rationales we didn’t create, and supporting staff through processes we are also still making sense of.
And a lot of that work is emotions.
Mid-level supervision involves constantly managing feelings – my own staff and others’. For Residence Directors, that emotional labor is even more immediate – you’re navigating student staff concerns, resident needs, and your own reactions all at once. It’s holding space for frustration, confusion, and pushback from staff while also navigating my own reactions to those same decisions and dynamics.
There’s a version of this job that requires a steady, composed presence – the “brave face.” The one where you remain grounded, thoughtful, and responsive, even when internally you may be feeling just as frustrated as the people you’re supporting. And then there’s the quieter reality: that frustration has to go somewhere. We don’t always get to process in the moment. We hold it together in meetings and conversations, and then find our own ways to let it out later. That tension between what we carry and how we show up is a real, often invisible part of supervision at this and any level. There’s no guarantee of alignment, but there is value in articulation.
The Students Are Not the Same (and Neither are We)
It’s easy to say “students have changed,” and many times, the COVID-19 pandemic becomes a catch-all explanation. And yes, there are real shifts. Communication styles are different. Some student staff may be navigating gaps in social development. But reducing everything to the pandemic feels incomplete.
Our students are incredibly smart. They advocate for themselves in ways many of us didn’t. They are clearer about boundaries, they value self-care, and may be unwilling to compromise it. That can challenge traditional expectations of student staff roles. For Residence Directors, that shows up in hiring, training, and daily supervision – what worked a year or two ago (or yesterday) may not land the same way now. That reality has forced me to adjust my supervisory style. Not by lowering expectations, but by rethinking how I communicate them, how I build relationships, and how I interpret behavior.
At the same time, I have to acknowledge that I’m not the same supervisor every year either. My own capacity, patience, and perspective shift over time. Supervision is not static because people are not static.
High Performers are Still People
One of the more complicated dynamics in supervision is working with high-performing staff. We assume that our strongest performers will also be the easiest to supervise. But in my experience, high performers are often the ones who push back the most (honestly, good for them). They understand context. They think critically, They don’t follow blindly. At times, their perspective… differs from mine. That difference can create friction. For Residence Directors, that friction often shows up with returning RAs or senior student staff who know the system well and aren’t afraid to question it.
The challenge isn’t to eliminate that friction, but to navigate it productively. That can mean focusing on behavior, not identity. Asking questions instead of making assumptions. And actively unlearning the idea that top performers should be rewarded with more work. That’s not sustainable, and it’s not equitable. In those moments, “holding the situation” becomes the work.
Holding a situation means continuing to address behavior, continuing to follow through, and continuing to act as a good steward of the institution, even when progress feels minimal. For Residence Directors, that might look like repeating the same conversation with a student staff member, documenting patterns, and staying consistent even when the behavior doesn’t immediately shift. In some cases, someone is early in their career and eager to grow. In others, they may be years into the role and signaling, in different ways, that it might be time to move on. Your approach has to adjust accordingly. And still, there are times when the same conversations happen over and over again without meaningful change. That’s where supervision becomes less about solving and more about consistency.
Managing Frustration (Imperfectly)
I would love to say I manage frustration in these moments perfectly. That would be a lie. I get annoyed, maybe I carry it home with me, and it is something I am actively working on.
What has helped is creating intentional distance – not just in the moment when I’m most frustrated, but as a consistent practice. Stepping away, physically and mentally, before things escalate. Building space so that I can return to work with a clearer perspective. Because in Residential Life roles, the work doesn’t pause – you’re still showing up for students and staff regardless of where your own capacity is that day.
It’s not a perfect system, but it’s necessary and part of how I sustain the “brave face” when I need to.
Supervision as Practice, Not Perfection
If supervision were just about observation, we could master it by being more attentive.
But it’s not.
It’s about navigating complexity without always having resolution. It’s about adapting to people and contexts that are constantly shifting. It’s about recognizing that your perspective – whether as a mid-level manager or a Residence Director–is only one of many.
As a mid-level manager, I spend a lot of time in the in-between: between decision-making and implementation, between perspectives, between expectations and reality, and between what I’m carrying internally and how I need to show up externally.
Supervision, at its core, is a practice.
And like any practice, it requires reflection, adjustment (cue the optometrist: “Better… one… or two? One… or two?”), and a willingness to sit in the discomfort and not always getting it “right.”
