In this episode of Roompact’s ResEdChat, we will be discuss “The Superhero Complex in Student Affairs.” The superhero complex refers to a mindset where student affairs professionals feel the need to “save the day” constantly—taking on excessive responsibilities, overworking, and sacrificing personal well-being in the name of student support. This can stem from a deep commitment to student success but often leads to burnout, lack of boundaries, and an unhealthy work culture where self-sacrifice is the norm.
Guest: Conner Miller (he/him), Assistant Director of Residential Education, Purdue University Fort Wayne
Host: Jasmine Nettles
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About ResEdChat
Roompact’s ResEdChat podcast is a platform to showcase people doing great work and talk about hot topics in residence life and college student housing. If you have a topic idea for an episode, let us know!
Transcript:
Jasmine Nettles:
Hey, y’all. Welcome back to the Roompact ResEdChat podcast. I’m one of your hosts, Jas Nettles. I use she/her pronouns, and I’m the associate director for residential curriculum living learning communities and signature events at Eastern Kentucky University. Today, I have a very special episode, which is exactly what I said the last time, but I feel like you’re going to get the trend the more and more you tune into my episodes. For today, our topic is the superhero complex in student affairs, and I have probably the best, if not the most important superhero expert in my life as a guest here today. I met this person in grad school and I will let him introduce himself.
Conner Miller:
Hi, everyone. My name is Connor Miller. I’m the assistant director of residential education here at Purdue Fort Wayne. I use he/him pronouns and yeah, Jas and I met in grad school, so it was pretty dope.
Jasmine Nettles:
Yeah, he’s my bestie.
Conner Miller:
Yeah.
Jasmine Nettles:
Big time. So for today, the superhero complex, but superheroes in general is something that’s very special to the both of us if you can’t tell by our backgrounds in our offices. And one of the things that we bonded over in grad school, but also in our conversations, we were able to connect a lot of the paradigms or the plots and things like that in our favorite comic books and stories and movies to student affairs and working in this field.
So today I want us to talk a little bit about the mindset that student affairs professionals have when it comes to the superhero complex or just that save the day mentality that a lot of us take on, which is a lot of different things, taking on excess responsibilities, overworking ourselves, sacrificing personal time or just work time to do things in the name of student support or in the name of student affairs.
What we know, and obviously going into the superhero complex, we know that our student affairs professionals, it comes from a deep sense of commitment. We have a deep sense of responsibility to what we do, and that’s where that comes from. And whether that be student success or just student development or student growth, it leads to burnout ultimately at the end of the day. And with that, you have things like lack of boundaries you’ll experience, unhealthy work culture that you unfortunately will teach to your students or to the entry-level staff that you supervise. And so I really want us to get into a good conversation about this type of self-sacrifice and why it’s such a tradition and just ways for us to be better with our own experience or just things that we’ve known from others. So my first question, let’s get into it, okay?
Conner Miller:
Be with it.
Jasmine Nettles:
How would you define the superhero complex in the contrast of student affairs?
Conner Miller:
Yeah, I think you touched upon it perfectly. We feel like we have to save the day, right? Already we don’t know how to explain what we do for our jobs to our family members. I’m pretty sure my grandma still thinks I’m the principal of a college, which is really-
Jasmine Nettles:
They think I’m still in college.
Conner Miller:
Right. It’s something that comes with it. So then you have that almost that mask of I’m the humble person that’s just trying to do it day by day. But in the reality of it, we see things that we probably shouldn’t, whether that be serving in an on-call rotation and walking into a student on crisis, or heaven forbid, something happening to a student and they’re no longer with us.
We have to be the ones that mitigate. We have to be the ones that control the fire. We’re not going to be the ones talking to the news, but we have to be the ones that say like, “Hey, I controlled it and then I left.” Just like Spider-Man swinging in, swinging out. I’m here to help take care of it, get it concrete and then dip out. Because I don’t need the glory, I just need to make sure at the end of the day, everyone went to bed safe. That’s all I care about.
And sometimes I think we forget about that with our own selves. You and I both served on an on-call rotation. I’m sure many listeners have also served on that on-call rotation of that week that just doesn’t end. It’s the doomsday. It is the final crisis, crisis on infinite earths in the halls. It’s a bad time. Everything is on fire. But then that next week when you hand off that phone, “Oh, I had a really quiet week.”
Jasmine Nettles:
It was fine.
Conner Miller:
“Oh, I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy for you.” But I think that comes down to it where you never know what you’re going to get so you have to remain on 10 at all times.
Jasmine Nettles:
And then I think a great example too, this past fall, the last day of our movement, so it would be the night before classes. We were all exhausted. I had done LLC orientation, we had just been going, so I went home and I had broadcasted it to our entire department. I’m going to take an Advil pill and I’m going to sleep. Nobody call me, leave me alone, please. Well, that night around 10:30, 11:00, a student tied a sprinkler, a JBL speaker to a sprinkler.
Conner Miller:
That’s the way to go.
Jasmine Nettles:
And flooded down eight floors. And you know what happened?
Jasmine Nettles:
My executive director didn’t call me and I was so upset the next day because I know how useful I can be in crisis and things like that. And we just had a very transparent conversation about why I was so upset about that. Because of course when they called me the next day, I immediately came to campus to help and assist. But they were on campus for almost 12 hours and I wasn’t here to help. And I just felt so bad in the same thought. I’m like, “There was five people here. I didn’t need to be here.” But I was so conflicted about that.
And so when we think about it that way, what do we think? What do you think drives professionals in our field to take on so much responsibility at our own expense for the most part? Because I was running on fumes. There was no way I would have even been helpful had they called me to come help with planning because I was so tired, but I still had that feeling.
Conner Miller:
I think for a lot of us, it stems to that first interaction with anyone in higher ed, right? It’s that first time you meet someone that helped you in a moment. My crisis and someone else’s crisis can be very different things. I remember the RA that would stay up and be like, “Hey, I’m going to help you get through your homework because I ain’t got nothing else going on.” Knowing full well, you’re a full student. You have your own life going.
Jasmine Nettles:
I should be in bed.
Conner Miller:
You have your own stuff going on. So I think it starts there where you see these individuals that are going through and just doing what they can to make your day better. And then, “Hey, I’m an RA. I’m going to be the best RA for my team possible. Oh, hey, I’m going to go to grad school and become a graduate assistant and end up being a hall director or something. I got to make sure my whole team gets to eat before I do.”
It’s these little things that they build, they build, they build to where now we’re in our shoes and I’ve got three entry level professionals that I supervise. And I look at them and I’m like, “All right, we got to do this, this, and this.” This week was closing. They officially got out on Thursday. Friday, my whole team left to go on vacations.
They need to, as far as I’m concerned, go on vacation. In hindsight, terrible idea. I got so much going on right now. But that’s okay because I know when they get back, they’re going to be well rested and we’re going to keep going and keep moving. Completely fine with that. However, even talking like I’ve talked with you… Also my wife was a big point for me to make it to where I don’t necessarily have to be working all the time. Right?
Jasmine Nettles:
Take a break, yes.
Conner Miller:
The email notifications that used to come in on the phone, the team’s notifications after five, sometimes you’ve got to turn off. But me being me, you being you, we both know-
Jasmine Nettles:
It’s hard to be.
Conner Miller:
… I have to fix this. My name is not on the front of any building, but I have to fix it.
Jasmine Nettles:
And what you said though, that leads me into my next question too. How have you seen this mindset impact colleagues or just other professionals, whether it be positive or negative? My favorite example is Outlook notifications. Outlook notifications, Team notifications, turn them off. There’s nothing you can do if a student calls you at 10:00 PM because that’s the only phone number they had. You’re off campus. You are on the beach somewhere. You’re in mountains doing something to relax and your Outlook notifications are still going off.
And it’s because we have that sense of whether it be… Because I know for me, I was a bit of a control freak, but we ain’t got to talk about that because I have been delivered. But I know a part of that is us wanting to make sure we are always connected because I know my building better than anybody or I know my area or my systems better than anybody. But what about you? What are some examples you’d have?
Conner Miller:
I think the biggest thing, I’ve seen that has an impact negatively, I mean, I flashback to our cohort. How many of us are still in student affairs? We were a cohort in almost 20.
Jasmine Nettles:
20.
Conner Miller:
And I-
Jasmine Nettles:
I think six or seven of us still, I think.
Conner Miller:
There’s probably six or seven of us. And it’s not because it wasn’t a thing where we could stay in it, but it’s not for everyone. And we talk about that in grad school for two years going on and on about how it’s like, “Oh, it might not be for everybody. It might not be for everyone.” You don’t realize that until you’re in it. I mean, we’ve all had the thought about, “What if? What if I went corporate? What if I did this? What if I did that?”
At the end of the day, we’re here because we love doing it. I don’t know if it’s that weird savior complex of needing to make sure, “Hey, I need to be needed.” But-
Jasmine Nettles:
I think it is for some people, for sure. And I think the way that institutions create the circumstances that put you as the expert, and sometimes it’s not on purpose, sometimes it is. But they know that… For example, “They know Jas can do this. Just call her. Jas isn’t the only one that can do that. That’s just the first name you thought of.” And I can do a lot of stuff. So if I’m the person that you keep calling. I’m the only person that people are calling. And I think when you relate it specifically to superheroes, you know me, I love the teams. Like the superhero teams, the Power Rangers, Avengers, Justice League, the different things.
Conner Miller:
Teen Titans. Don’t forget to throw them in there.
Jasmine Nettles:
Okay. All right. But when I look at superhero teams, they all have a skill whether some of them share a skill, each one of the members on those different teams is a reason why they’re on those teams. And I think that if departments or institutions focus more on team dynamics and building not just strengths of the individual person, but putting students or professionals, leaders in positions to assess the skills of their team, I think it will be so much easier to distribute that “let me save the day mentality”. Because if everybody is concerned about it, it may not lead to as much burnout. If everyone-
Conner Miller:
Got it.
Jasmine Nettles:
… is an expert or if everyone has a skill or a strength that they can use, I think that helps. But how do you think that institutions maybe unintentionally reinforce the superhero complex either through culture or policy? Because I know a lot… Even when you think about duty structure, RAs can’t do certain things. So if an RA can’t flip a breaker box and it’s 3:00 AM the RHC that’s on call who could live on the complete opposite side of campus has to get up out their bed at 3:00 AM to go flip a breaker and we can just train our RAs on how to do it. So what about you? What do you think?
Conner Miller:
I think, I mean, we’ve talked about it a little bit. It’s pinged up here, but it’s that Outlook notification. It’s that email. It’s that Teams. If I get a message or if I get a text or anything at any time, I’m going to respond. But we’ve had doing this for how long now? Too long. But I’ve had multiple supervisors be like, “Just cause I send you an email at 8:00 PM at night doesn’t mean I need you to respond.” Then don’t send it to me at 8:00 PM.
Jasmine Nettles:
Why did you send it to me?
Conner Miller:
Because I’m going to read it and if I have the answer, I’m going to respond.
Jasmine Nettles:
Exactly.
Conner Miller:
That’s how this works out. This is how we do it.
Jasmine Nettles:
If you’re thinking about it, doing it, that means you need a response that you’re up thinking about doing it.
Conner Miller:
I had to basically delete Teams from my phone when I was going on my honeymoon ’cause I was like, “Nah, I can’t read this.”
Jasmine Nettles:
Because I’m going to answer it.
Conner Miller:
“I’ll look at it when I get back.” And I’m so happy I did that because it was a magical time. But I’m sitting here, I was like, “I know I’m going to look at it.” It’s the same thing, when I got back, I had two days off of… I had a week long vacation, but I knew I was getting back two days early. I still checked my email when I was back in town and I saw that it said 130 emails. And I said, “Why did I do that? Why did I do that?”
Jasmine Nettles:
That’s the worst.
Conner Miller:
“Turn it off.” But it’s because for me, if I know I’m going to send an email to my team or if I’m going to message my team, if it’s in a text message, it’s not that important. We’re just joking. If it’s in a Team’s message, it’s important. If you read it, great. But if it’s an email, I try any more to do a scheduled time send first thing in the morning. Send it 8:00 AM first thing in the morning. We’re done. We’re cool. You’ll see it then. I don’t need you to look at it right now.
Jasmine Nettles:
And I think that’s so important though because what… My RFCs get on me all the time because it’s out of character for me now to do things super late. If it’s after 5:30 and Jas is sending an email, it sums up because she either is ignoring something and diving into work or she’s probably just having anxiety about something. It’s not like me now to send emails outside of work hours. And they get on me because that’s the standard that I set amongst my team. I do not expect you to give your entire life to this job, even though some of them still will try.
But as supervisors and just institution leaders in general, it’s so important that we model what we want them to do. Because, again, if you look at superhero teams and who the leaders and stuff are, Tommy was too. He wasn’t just the green ranger, he was also the white ranger. He had the opportunity to be both. And because he did that, Adam and Billy and Rocky and everybody wanted to be… I need to be the best version of myself because Tommy is my leader. You know what I’m saying? Superman and Batman, when you look at what the characters represent in their teams, I think that’s why it was so easy for me to connect to the culture of student affairs because that’s how I’ve always looked at my jobs. Especially because I’m always on somebody’s team, I don’t really work alone,
Conner Miller:
which is so funny. I mean even when I was doing thesis work in grad school with it, you find that favorite superhero from a student and then it immediately ties into who they are as a person.
Jasmine Nettles:
A hundred percent.
Conner Miller:
I’ll never forget when I had one came in and it was my favorite superhero’s Thor because they have big muscles and are strong [inaudible 00:14:31]
Jasmine Nettles:
Long blond hair.
Conner Miller:
And I’m sitting here, I’m like, “Interesting, interesting.” And then I went to go see Major and it was business major. “What’s your aspiration for a job?” “CEO of company.” “All right, you pop off, you do great things.” But then for me, I love… I mean I love all of it. I have way too many Funko Pops.
Jasmine Nettles:
Listen, I cut some down. I took some home. I’m proud of myself.
Conner Miller:
I wish. But I mean like me, I always go to Spider-Man. I love Spider-Man. Spider-Man is not a team player. He’s been on teams, but he is very much solo, “I can fix this.” And that is very much as a self-reflection, something I’ve realized more about myself is maybe I need to branch it out a bit. And that’s something that I’ve been working on for years. But even now, I mean it goes in my personal life where it’s like, “I can fix this.” And it’s like, “You have people around you that will help you.”
Jasmine Nettles:
You know the answer to this question, but my number one favorite superhero, honestly, team is the Green Lantern Corps. But my favorite superhero is John Stewart, the Green Lantern.
Conner Miller:
Of course, we all love John Stewart.
Jasmine Nettles:
And the entire concept of the Green Lantern Corps is the entire concept of Green Lantern in general and who John Stewart is. He’s a former Marine. He’s black. He’s from a low-income neighborhood. The whole entire point of his power is his will. And mental health has been something that I’ve struggled with I know for a very long time. And until I dived off into superheroes as a way to just turn my brain off, I connected to them. And the opposite of fear is will. And a lot of times with me, I’m always afraid to do something because I’m scared to mess it up or I’m scared that I can’t do it, or especially a lot when I was an entry-level professional.
But now, no, if I thought it, I can do it. And because I’m that way, I find myself taking on more roles now. Oh, somebody needs to do this? Oh, I can just do it. My executive director, she literally has to be like, “Jasmine, you have too many things on your plate.” I’m like, “Yeah, but I said I could do it. It’s in my mind. If I thought it, I can do it.”
Conner Miller:
You’re not going to stop me.
Jasmine Nettles:
The rings for the lanterns don’t work unless their brain wills it to. And to me, my brain told me I can do it, so I’m going to do it. And that’s the way that I know that I have created in some ways unhealthy boundaries for myself. And I’ve really just had to be intentional about working on that, especially relating to superheroes in that way. And you brought up your thesis, so let’s segue because I want you to talk a little bit about it.
So let’s talk about how the superhero complex intersects with race and gender and identity, and what that looks like maybe from a student perspective or just in the workplace.
Conner Miller:
Definitely. I approached my thesis thinking like, “Oh, I can do. All students and figure out what superhero they like and how it impacts them as a person.” I very quickly as Dr. Thomas Bruik and Dr. B would have told us, had to narrow that funnel down.
Jasmine Nettles:
Break it down. We can talk about this all day.
Conner Miller:
So moved it more towards perceived masculine norms and how their superheroes impact them, with a bunch of other fancy words that aren’t really important right now. But I mean the data from it was fascinating because it really showed a lot. I mean, when we were in school, it was 2018, 2020. So it was right around the hype of Avengers Endgame and DC was really trying-
Conner Miller:
Yeah. DC was really trying to do something. They tried real hard for a little bit, but we’re getting a whole… That’s [inaudible 00:17:57]
Jasmine Nettles:
They’re coming back. They’re coming back.
Conner Miller:
Yeah, they’re coming back. They’re coming back. I’m very, very… Okay. But I mean there was a lot of hype around Marvel movies. So I was like, “Yeah, we’ll see what happens.” The feedback was amazing just from how students self-identified. For example, if a student identified as a member of the LGBT community, the trend there was a lot of students fell in love with the X-Men, which we could talk about the importance of the X-Men and everything with that.
Jasmine Nettles:
All of that.
Conner Miller:
How they’re very important to the ’60s. It’s very important, but whatever. But a big thing from the X-Men is they’re all part of the team, but they get to make their uniform and be individuals. They get to be them. They get to do what they need to do. And I thought that was absolutely fascinating. And then we go into how we have… We had some students that identified as black students, and they came back and said that, “My favorite superhero is, well, most recently, Black Panther.” That movie came out 2018.
That is the first time when students can look up at a screen and be like, “Oh me.” We didn’t have that a lot before that. I mean, you can say Blade was one of the first superhero movies that came out in the early ’90s, 2000. But Blade is a vampire hunter. I love vampire hunting. I think it’s really cool. But that’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea.
Jasmine Nettles:
That’s not it.
Conner Miller:
That’s not everyone’s cup of tea. So it’s like you grow up with looking at superheroes and they all look one specific way. But then you touched on it as well with the cartoons, John Stewart was my Green Lantern growing up. I did not know-
Jasmine Nettles:
[inaudible 00:19:31] Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner. Who are these people?
Conner Miller:
Didn’t know anything about it. Then you go back and you read and you’re like, “Oh no, Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, this…” And they’re like, “They were the green lantern before.” But very intentionally, John Stewart was selected as the Green Lantern for the cartoons that we grew up watching.
Jasmine Nettles:
Because of the time, yeah.
Conner Miller:
Yeah. So it’s very clearly superheroes and who these students look up to, even when they’re kids, they see themselves in them. I mean, I talked about how I see… I have some of Spider-Man’s bad tendencies. Not his cool ones. I can’t climb up a wall. I’ll be super dope. But the need to juggle everything, the need to handle it on my own, the need to take responsibility for everything that I can. That’s a problem.
Jasmine Nettles:
And when you look at it too… And it’s not just superheroes. You look at Harry Potter, you look at all the fans.
Conner Miller:
Pop culture. I think pop culture in general was my original thesis was how has pop culture impacted student development?
Jasmine Nettles:
We had to bring it to it.
Conner Miller:
All right, pop culture. Let’s go through. We got Harry Potter, we got Star Wars, we got Star Trek, we got all this. It’s so much going on.
Jasmine Nettles:
And when you look at it like that too, you led into my next question for you is what strategies have we found helpful for setting boundaries while still supporting students? Because students don’t always relate their need to be the perfect number one best student to a superhero. We do because that’s how we process things or theorize things. So I guess, what are some strategies maybe you have found helpful as a professional for student staff?
Conner Miller:
Big thing is I just want them to be themselves. One of the first things I tell student staff whenever I start training, whenever we go off with it, is I welcome everybody, my returners. I welcome them back and get really excited. And I make sure all the new people know that I do not have in my mind that any of them should respect me. There is no reason for any of these new students to respect me.
I’ve not proven myself to them. However, I respect them and trust them out the gate. Why? Because you went through my interview process. You showed me you’re dedicated and you’re here now. So let me earn your trust and your respect moving forward. And even from that, the team dynamics that we have from that is like, “Oh, he takes me seriously. Oh, he respects the time.” We all know I’m a goofball, but I like to have fun. I like to joke around. But I think in having that humor and that joking around with the students, they definitely feel like they’re more inclined to have a good relationship.
Be honest. Tell me when you’re in need. Come to my office, sit on the couch that they call the therapist couch for two and a half hours and just talk about nothing, right? That’s fine. There are boundaries. They know, “Hey, if I got a meeting, we got to go. I got to go, but I don’t want us to pick this back up.” So I’m going to schedule with you when we’re going to pick this back up.
Jasmine Nettles:
And that’s developmental too though, when you think about it, because for a lot of student staff, their first time having a job is when they come to school. And if they live in a residence hall or they’re connected to housing, they’re going to be an RA, they’re going to be a desk worker, a desk manager, maybe a grad. Who knows. But when we create the opportunity for them to not just understand what it means to be respected, but for me, I lead from a place of trust.
Especially with returners. Like you are coming in. My expectation is that you know what you’re talking about because I’m going to tell the new hires to ask you. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, you have to ask me because you can’t lead and you can’t do different things. And now do I just let them go off on their own? Of course not. Trust but verify because I’m always checked. But it teaches things because you made a good point of they know when I have a meeting, they have to leave. I’m going to schedule this time with you. Don’t just pop up at my office because that’s not how that works, right? Because you also don’t want to present the opportunity for them to be disappointed because they’re used to having whatever kind of access to you or whatever kind of access to other people.
That’s not how they learn how to do those things. And as the person in responsible for their development, you take on that responsibility. Now, is that exhausting? Yes. Because there are six student staff now that I’m like, “I told you to schedule a meeting. Why are you popping up at my office?” And that’s not fun to have those kind of conversations, but [inaudible 00:23:43]
Conner Miller:
Right. Well, and I think also to that too, it is really funny because when I first started working… I mean we worked in the middle of COVID was when we first got our professional job. So it’s like when we started that it was closed door and everything.
Jasmine Nettles:
Ooh, it’s different.
Conner Miller:
Everything was closed, you scheduled and it was a Zoom. That’s what we were doing. And then I moved to Georgia and I was still in that closed door mindset. I’m going to close my door and be fine. This door remains open now unless it’s time for a meeting. And the students know if it’s open, pop in. There are two students that I think they were in my office at least three times a week for the last month just being like, “We came to bother you.”
Conner Miller:
“I’m really happy that you did that. I’m not busy at all. If I don’t make eye contact, I’m typing.”
Jasmine Nettles:
I knew what’s up.
Conner Miller:
And they know that. But then they’ll just draw on the whiteboard and just sometimes you got to turn that brain off. It’s fine.
Jasmine Nettles:
And I think I know that students, their development, they get that development when they come to college. Not to throw a theory in there, but Schlossberg is my favorite, one of my favorite higher education theories. He always rolling his eyes at me y’all. Don’t that on this podcast, okay?
Conner Miller:
Hey.
Jasmine Nettles:
But because transitioning in through and out, we get them when they’re going through. Now in housing, we get them when they come in, when they go through and when they go out. A lot of people are only going to meet them when they’re going through. We get them at all three stages. And being mindful of identity and how who they are really just informs the decisions that they make, I’m the same way as a professional because the first interaction I had with a student’s first person literally saved my life.
It changed the full course introduction of my life. And so taking on the responsibility of a job like that, of course, that’s what I’m supposed to do. But there’s still boundaries and there’s limits to how you do that. And from two people who did it poorly, we did not start out doing it great. So I want to kind of wrap us up here and I want to hear because I know you got something good because I know you, what advice would you give to new professionals entering this field who want to avoid burnout but still make an impact as a student professional?
Conner Miller:
I flashback to two things. Number one, it’s a joke that we have and our cohort has. I have it tattooed on me permanently.
Jasmine Nettles:
So cool.
Conner Miller:
Yeah, we didn’t even talk about that. I know Jas has mentioned Dr. Craig Seger before. I have his handwriting on my hand for those of you that are watching the actual… I don’t know if that’s going to focus, but it’s 7A with a period at the end of it. That was the line in our grad contract that said, “Other duties as assigned.” Make sure that not only in your other duties assigned that you have with work, you assign yourself duties of being a relaxed person. Take that moment. Find that show. Maybe all off in a corner, read a book, play a video game. I don’t care. You need to turn your brain off so that it can recharge.
And I know it’s so easy to say and so hard to do. Trust me, I’m in the same boat. I still do not turn my brain off. I’ll be sitting at home and Jess will look at me and she’ll be like, “You’re thinking about work.”
Jasmine Nettles:
Thinking about something.
Conner Miller:
I know I am, yeah.
Jasmine Nettles:
It’s a distinct phase too.
Conner Miller:
Find those things. I know, especially during the COVID time, my thing was I got in my car and I drove an hour and a half down to go find a comic bookstore. Find your way to turn your brain off. Listen to a podcast, do something, a really cool podcast. Roompact, I think is a great idea so that you can start talking about all these things. But also, I flashback to that first job. I had a supervisor who really changed my perspective on a lot of it because grad school, we were in the boat of, “Oh, I’m working from 8:00 AM to 8:00 AM every day for the rest of my life. That’s what I’m doing.” And I remember when I sent an email at 8:30 at night and I got a phone call and it was, “Connor-“
Jasmine Nettles:
What are you doing?
Conner Miller:
“… I do not pay you enough for you to be working and you’re not on call right now. Anything after five, if you work, you’re going to let me know, you’re going to log those hours and you’re not going to show up to the office the next day.” That changed my mind completely on how this job works out. Now, we all know that’s not going to be the case for every day. Move in. I’m working an 80-hour week. But the middle of October, “Well, we’re just doing fun Halloween programs. Why am I checking teams at 5:36? What am I doing? I can go get dinner and be fine.”
So just know that while you are important, you are part of a team. You do not need to be the solo superhero. This isn’t your solo act. We’re not doing that. Everyone knows in a comic book, there’s the splash page where everyone has a moment to look cool.
Jasmine Nettles:
Everybody gets one.
Conner Miller:
Everyone. We saw it in Captain America Civil War when they did the battlefield on the airport, we all saw everyone get their cool moment, okay? You will have your cool moment. But first we got to go. Let Wanda have her cool moment and we got to let Bucky have his cool moment with Captain America because it’s Captain America now. It’s not Falcon no more. You got to let them all have a moment, okay? So you’ll find your moments. People will remember the good things you do, okay? It’s going to be fine.
Jasmine Nettles:
People will remember the good work you do. And I think if I were to add anything to that, it’s just, don’t forget what brings you joy. Don’t forget what makes you the individual that you are not just at work, but in the world in general. Because your work translates into the real world. Because the work we do with student affairs is real life work. The things that students learn with us, they carry that with them forever.
So the habits and the things that you teach them, remember that they will always remember that. And it’s much harder to break a habit after you’ve had it for six years than it is to catch it at the beginning as the person responsible for that development. So I have a fun question for you [inaudible 00:29:43] to recommend to our people. What is right now your favorite intro theme song or album soundtrack song from a Marvel or DC movie or TV show? I have mine right here. You can go first if you got it, if you need it.
Conner Miller:
God, favorite entry? Oh, from a Marvel?
Jasmine Nettles:
Or DC.
Conner Miller:
I know or DC. I mean, you can’t beat Danny Elfman’s Batman music.
It’s so good.
Because there’s just something about it where you’re like, “You know what? I am darkness. I am the night. I’m Batman, and you going to take care of it.” Right? But that’s a tough one. I mean all time-
Jasmine Nettles:
I think mine right now, right now, X-Men ’97. They ate that intro up. They ate that up. Oh my God, it’s so good. Now, if I had to-
Conner Miller:
How can I forget, Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man, also from Danny Elfman.
Jasmine Nettles:
I’m about to say, I’m so sorry you didn’t say a Spider-Man one. I was actually a little gagged at you. Let’s start there. [inaudible 00:30:52]
Conner Miller:
Here’s the thing, just because I like Spider-Man doesn’t mean I didn’t grow up with Batman. There’s a reason I like horror movies and it’s because Tim Burton made Batman. Let’s call it what it is.
Jasmine Nettles:
Love Batman. Okay. And then I think… Okay, so you did too. So my second one, honorable mention, which some people will say that he’s not a real superhero, and I would have to vehemently disagree. Darkwing Duck’s intro song. Darkwing Duck’s theme song.
Conner Miller:
I’m sorry. Does he have a cape?
Jasmine Nettles:
I Am the Terror that Flaps in the Night. Okay.
Conner Miller:
Does he have a cape? Does he have a mask that he wears?
Jasmine Nettles:
100%.
Conner Miller:
All right. He’s a vigilante at best. What are we going to talk about here? Yeah, don’t even.
Jasmine Nettles:
Gosh. Well, Connor-
Conner Miller:
Don’t get me started with Howard the Duck. Go on.
Jasmine Nettles:
We don’t even have the time, okay? I love it. But, Connor, you are the best. I appreciate you so much for everything that you share with us today, and I hope our listeners take something away. If you haven’t already, please make sure that you subscribe to the Roompact ResEdChat podcast and I hope to see you next time. Bye y’all.
