The phrase “student leader” is not new to the higher education landscape. It has been used to describe students who are involved with student government, recognized student organizations, fraternity and sorority life, and of course, housing and residence life. Oftentimes, the student leaders in housing and residence life hold multiple positions in various organizations across their campuses.
Not all, but many student staff in housing and residence life enjoy staying busy. They like to take advantage of every opportunity campus has to offer as they recognize it as a way to stay connected while building a network that can assist them even after commencement. Student staff are taught the importance of time management and prioritization as both are critical to success. It is repeated again and again – “You’re a person first, then a student, then an RA/CA/(insert abbreviation).” The mantra is supposed to help RAs understand that the position is a priority but sometimes it gets lost. Sometimes, priorities change. Sometimes, reality does not match expectations. Sometimes, a student leader decides “this actually is not for me.” But how? How does one know?
A variety of circumstances can lead to an RA choosing to walk away from the role and at the end of the day the decision is theirs alone but sometimes there are signs that it is time to say “It’s not the position, it’s me.”
You don’t remember why you wanted to do this. During the interview process, candidates typically must share why they want to have the position. When times are hard or there is a lot happening, your why should be your anchor in the storm. If your why is unknown to you or if it does not help bring you back to center on rough days – it might be time to re-examine if this is something you really want.
You have nothing positive to say about the role. Venting about work and stress is normal, but when you cannot think of one positive thing about your position, something has changed and that is okay. If your entire perception of the role is negative, it might be time to walk away. If you are telling people not to apply for the role without prompting, it might be better to reconsider why you are still in it.
Those around you have noticed a change in you. Sometimes we cannot see the change in ourselves until someone else mentions it. Having a strong support system is important because they are a place to land when the stress of being a student leader is high and they are able to let you know when you don’t seem like yourself. If your support system is worried about you, you might want to step back.
You don’t enjoy the role anymore or you never did to begin with. Being an RA might be considered a leadership opportunity or a job depending on your campus but either way, it should be enjoyable. This position is not meant to be doom and gloom 24/7. If you don’t like it, that is okay. Life is entirely too short to keep doing something you don’t actually enjoy.
The role isn’t a priority. Students today can find themselves pulled in multiple directions all at once by various people. When that happens, prioritization is key. What you prioritize is also what you value and if your RA position is not a priority, do you actually value it? If you look for ways to avoid doing the work, who is picking up the slack? Have you said yes to too many opportunities?
College goes by extremely quickly and it may feel like you have to try to do as much as possible but there is power in knowing when to say no. There is power in recognizing when you need to walk away from something. Take time to reflect on what really matters to you and how you want to remember these years – your answers just might surprise you.
