In this episode of Roompact’s RA*Chat, Sadie Billings shares her secrets for transforming random room assignments into genuine community. From awkward introductions to lifelong friendships! Discover proven strategies for building floor culture that extends far beyond the residence halls and creates connections that last.
Guest: Sadie Billings (she/her), Academic Success Coordinator
Host: Anthony Martinez
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Show Notes:
Roompact’s ResEdChat podcast is a platform to showcase people doing great work and talk about hot topics in residence life and college student housing. If you have a topic idea for an episode, let us know!
Transcript:
Anthony Martinez:
Welcome back to Roompact’s Res Ed Chat podcast. Today is a special RA chat edition where we talk about issues of importance to RAs in student staff members in housing and residents lives. Today’s topic is From Strangers to Suitemates, and so the podcast today we’ll be diving deep into residence hall communities and how to build them. My name and I’m your host is Anthony Martinez. I use he/him pronouns, and I’m excited today to talk about some strategies with a very special guest on transforming your floor from a collection of strangers into genuine connections.
Again, we’ll be focusing on how to work on building a community with people that live in close quarters, and we can be honest in the fact that you can have the best programming in the world, but if residents aren’t feeling connected to one another and they don’t know how to navigate conflicts, you may find yourself running into some struggles. And so today I am joined by Sadie Billings who has some years of experience in helping RAs and building a strong floor culture, building strong communities, especially with first generation students and navigating those tricky roommate situations. And so Sadie, if you would like to introduce yourself.
Sadie Billings:
Yeah. Hello, my name is Sadie Billings. I also use she/her pronouns. I am currently an academic success coordinator at the University of Missouri, Kansas City. I also was a residential life coordinator here at this institution and have some previous years as well. I currently, while I am not a Res Life individual, I do work really closely with them as I am the liaison for the First Gen LLC Living Learning community here at UMKC.
Anthony Martinez:
Yay. And I’m excited to have you here today, Sadie, and we’re going to just jump right into the topic. And so Sadie, I know you’ve seen what separates floors that have become tight communities from those that remain just a collection of strangers. And so from your perspective, what are key things that an RA needs to do in their first couple of weeks to set the foundation of a strong floor culture? And so what do you think will help someone coming to college for the first time too and navigating those spaces?
Sadie Billings:
Yeah, building a community is really, really hard and it is something that I think we as professionals are still learning about as well, and dynamics change from year to year, and so that navigation can be really challenging. Biggest thing for me is being present. I have found as a professional and as an RA, those who are present are the ones that make the impact. And I think especially for students, that’s really challenging. In RA, you’re also going to school and you’re starting your semester just like these students are.
You’re trying to navigate what your everyday life will be like, and so you have to really put in the work to be present. I think when we think about being present, we think that you have to physically be there, but sometimes you just need to be a text away, be a message, and it can really look so different.
I found that studying on your floor or being out of your room is really impactful for students. I’m a big open door person. I had my door open the entire time I worked in housing, and I think just being that friendly face. We also have found that if you are engaging in your front desk, a lot of universities, that is where students are going to first see, and so that is a really big way. Some of the things that I think change that dynamic of, especially as a new student, is knowing someone’s name. Names are super important to people, and so as long as you know your residents names and you’re actively trying, you’re going to make that impact and they’re going to feel really comfortable and able to engage with you, which is really important.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes, knowing people’s names is important. I love that you talked about presence and not needing to be the presence of like, oh, I need to be in everyone’s business and knocking on people’s doors, but just being there and studying, which is something that we all do, or you as RAs will be doing, studying as you are college students. And so just being seen and visible and especially those of you that have to work front desk at your individual institutions, building that community there, even with people who aren’t your students, is so important and vital, as you then begin to build that comfort with these students and then they feel like, oh, I can go to the front desk. There’s stuff that’s accessible there.
So thank you, Sadie. Thank you for touching on that. Our next question is, I’m sure you’ve seen RAs try everything from pizza parties to very elaborate themed events, and so what have you seen to be the most effective community building strategies and the ones that you’ve observed throughout your years in higher education? And so what are also some common mistakes that you’ve seen RAs make when trying to force these connections and force these events?
Sadie Billings:
Yeah, absolutely. I think it kind of ties back to that first question and being present, and so sometimes that means you’re having those active events and you’re doing those engaging parts. It really depends on that group dynamic, but really one of the most effective things that I’ve found is having even just a hands-on activity. So I have had resident assistants who have had a board with different questions where you had to take a poll or you moved your little clothes pin, and those can be super engaging not only to those that are extroverted and want to engage, but those that you might not get to hear as often get to also have that opinion.
It does get a little tricky. Let’s be real. We know that we are in a college setting, and so that is something that I’ve had to really talk to staff about, of making sure that they are engaging with that board and they’re being present too, to make sure it stays where it needs to stay.
But I really think that engagement beyond having a program is really, really important. Some common mistakes, I think it is going too hard, too fast. A lot of the times at an institution, we see now, a lot of them are doing very big programming to start their school year off, and so I think sometimes our RAs get lost in the sauce there a little bit. And so I really encouraged my staff to engage in those activities.
And it’s as simple as inviting them to go with you. Sometimes you don’t need to work as hard to do these big elaborate things because students are going to be overwhelmed. They’re trying to navigate the college life, navigate classes, that freedom, and to add 12 million events to it can be really challenging. And so just really engaging beyond your residence floor or your residence hall can be really easy and a nice way to not make the mistake of putting too much on them so that they don’t show up.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes, I love that. I love that you talked about hands-on activities and not just showing up, and so being able to engage with our communities that way. The too hard, too fast I think is important. I know we see these, and especially for our new RAs, we’re setting a foundation of you have to have this large scale event in order to be successful, but a simple, “Hey, do you want to come to dinner with me in our dining hall so that way I can get to know you a bit,” is so powerful and impactful for our students that are coming into these institutions. Especially, I know, Sadie, you work with first generation students, and so that can mean a whole lot because then these students have opportunities to ask questions.
Sadie Billings:
Absolutely. And you’re really one of the first people that students meet on campus, and making friends is hard, and so even just inviting them to dinner, maybe they’re really nervous to go to that dining facility by themselves, and you’ve just really created an open door for your students to engage with you.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes, yes. Perfect. Thank you. Our next question is talking about reading the room and the dynamics of it all. And so every floor has a different personality, as we’ve seen, and so there’s also different personalities on the floor, and there’s a mix of that. Some have natural leaders, others are more maybe introverted, some have established friend groups that they’ve known each other from the different cities or where they went to high school. And so how would you coach an RA and to those RAs listening, to read their floor dynamics and adapt their community building approaches accordingly?
Sadie Billings:
Yeah, you’re probably not going to get it right the first time. I think that’s really important to know that no one gets it right because it changes so much and especially it can even change between week one and week two. People are trying to find themselves, they’re in this new experience, and so that’s the first thing. It’s like, be able to adapt and be ready to adapt. I think today, we have a lot of universities that have things like living, learning communities, and that is truly one of the easiest ways because they already have an established community of something that they have in common, but that’s not how it is for everyone.
But holistically, most of the time, especially in your halls, you’re going to have a set amount of students, so you’re going to have first year students, you’re going to have returning students, and leaning into those identities and those needs, you’re a student, you know what it felt like to be in those shoes. And so I think just that adapting to where your students are, but once you get a read on those dynamics, you’re going to be able to see what needs to be done.
And it can be anything like if you notice that your floor is really, really quiet, maybe you shift your programming from having these big social events to having a study night or a self-care night, it’s one of those quieter things. Maybe you’re having more of a passive program where you’re engaging in a different way, or you have that floor, that rowdy floor that is ready to socialize and get going. And so maybe it’s toning them down sometimes and having those events, or having things like a game night, something to really engage those students but know that it’s okay, your dynamics are going to change, and that adapting is really what’s going to make you or break you in night.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes, yes. I love that you talk about that. You probably won’t get it right, and that’s okay, but the importance is adapting to it all and acknowledging that people change. When students, they come to universities, colleges, wherever they’re at, our whole purpose is to change and grow them. And so to expect that someone comes in and they may be really shy at first, who knows, they might eventually blossom out of their shell and then we’ll have to adjust that way.
Maybe they get really involved. And so remembering that and being able to adapt to those communities. And so thank you, Sadie. We’re going to move on to our next question, which is talking about the conflict piece that I’ve mentioned previously. And so we know that a strong floor culture will help prevent conflicts, but how do you advise RAs to be proactive about this? What should they be looking out for and how can they create an environment where residents feel comfortable bringing issues forward to them early on so that way, again, we can be proactive rather than reactive as resident assistants?
Sadie Billings:
Yeah, I think it’s really important to know that even in a really good cohesive floor, there’s going to be conflict. We’re in such a big time and life of change and adapting and all of those things. So I think it’s really important that we acknowledge conflict is going to happen and it could happen on any type of scale, and so it is really important to start having those conversations early.
I think one of the things that I really encourage a lot of staffs to do is having honest conversations, and I always encouraged my RAs when they were doing a roommate agreement, so most universities do do a roommate agreement, and I think we have all found that people are not super honest on those roommate agreements. They’re like, “Yeah, you can totally have 12 people over until 2:00 AM,” not actually meaning that. And so it’s sitting down and building that dynamic with your floor of having honest conversations, telling them that conflict’s going to happen, it’s the joys of being an adult, you’re going to have to deal with those conflicts, and just really starting that early and encouraging them to have those conversations.
I think we really want students to grow and having conflict resolution, so giving them the tools to be able to have those conversations, like roommate agreements and different things like that.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes, yes. That is important in having those conversations and navigating them and being honest. Again, if you are to get a roommate agreement and you’re like, “Oh, you’re both signing off on allowing this many people into the room or this late at night, let’s talk about this a little bit more. Is this really what we want?” And so having those conversations and being honest, as Sadie mentioned, is vital and important, and especially if a student is new to having a roommate, I know that’s a huge thing as well.
And we’re going to move on to the next question, which is despite best efforts, conflicts do happen, and so we have the RA making all of these steps. They’re listening to the podcast, hearing all the great things you have to say, but they still happen. And so how do you balance supporting individual residents while also protecting the broader community culture when these conflicts do arise, and people begin to talk and they get to know their neighbors, and so you’ve built that floor culture, but now they’re texting in the group chat and in the GroupME of like, “OMG, get so-and-so did this,” and so how do we protect and build again kind of those boundaries that we have for our floors?
Sadie Billings:
Yeah, absolutely. I think we talk about it all the time. Group chats are the best and worst thing to happen sometimes, and so I think that is really important to acknowledge that sometimes they’re rough and it’s really you as the staff member setting those boundaries. Telling them conflict is a normal part of life, and ultimately these students are adults now, and you can have the conversation of, as an adult, you have to have these conflict conversations. And so a really strong RA knows how to have that conversation, but also still protect that group dynamic, which is really, really challenging.
We have all been in a conversation of a conflict where you might side with one a little bit more, let’s be real. You’re like, “I would be in the same boat,” but it’s really important to stay in that neutral ground and make sure that everyone feels heard.
I think most students, most people want to be heard. They don’t necessarily want you to fix the problem, they just want to tell you about the problem. I think just really focus on listening to the students, each of their needs, and then having a neutral ground to go ahead and have a conversation, mediating that sometimes is really uncomfortable. Even as a professional staff member, I have been in some uncomfortable mediations, but in that uncomfortability, there’s growth and that is really what’s important.
And so we are going to empower our students to have those conversations and reinforce the values of our floor and our group dynamic because ultimately we are a community and we want people to feel safe and welcome in that community. Most people aren’t going to want to change that, doesn’t mean it won’t happen, and I think addressing those things as they come up, if you have a group chat that’s going a little haywire, wheel it back in. That’s not what our group chat is about. And just finding that balance and empathy and also that leadership that you are in charge of that floor.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes, at the end of the day, all of our resident assistants are leaders, and so that is important to remember, especially when encountering these situations of conflict. And so Sadie, I know we’re running close on time. I do want to ask you some rapid fire questions. These are my favorite and-
Sadie Billings:
All right, let’s go.
Anthony Martinez:
We’re going to get into them. And so first question is what do you think is the most underrated community building activity?
Sadie Billings:
I’m going to go back to my original thing. I love an engagement board. I think they’re so fun. You learn so much about a floor, about the group dynamic and everything like that.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes, yes. What do you think is a red flag that indicates floor culture is struggling and so something that these students should keep an eye out for?
Sadie Billings:
That group chat, always. Sometimes you’ll notice-
Anthony Martinez:
Pay attention to your group chat. It’s important.
Sadie Billings:
Pay attention to that group chat. Let’s not mute it.
Anthony Martinez:
Stop it immediately. Yes. Being active in your group chat, monitoring it, keeping those boundaries high. That’s important. What do you think is the best way to engage a resident that maybe is more reserved, who never leaves their room?
Sadie Billings:
I think it’s really showing up. I know that it can seem kind of annoying, like I’m knocking on your door 12 times, but eventually they’re going to answer, and I think it’s just really showing up and showing out. So maybe you see them at the front desk because hopefully they’re going to class, and you say, “Hey, I haven’t talked to you in a while. Let’s sit and chat for a minute.” Really going up and out of your way is going to show them that you care and that they are a part of your community, and that’s really going to make them kind of shift their dynamic hopefully.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes, yes. And then my final question for you is what is your go-to advice for RAs dealing with their first major floor conflict?
Sadie Billings:
Don’t take it personally. It’s not your fault. It’s really just a big growth moment for everyone, and it happens to everyone. It has happened to me as a professional staff member. It has happened to me as an RA. It has happened to me outside of housing, and it’s just really a part of the growth. And it’s kind of cool because in the end, you get to be a part of that growth and that change.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes. Well, thank you, Sadie. That is a great note to end on. I do want to ask, after this podcast ends, how can people and RAs listening connect with you?
Sadie Billings:
Yeah, absolutely. You can find me on LinkedIn. My name is Sadie Billings on there. Feel free to give me a follow and I will be there to chat.
Anthony Martinez:
Excellent. Yes, and I will also tag Sadie in the post if you’re already following me on LinkedIn. And again, Sadie, thank you so much. This has been very valuable. I think what stands out is that building a floor culture isn’t about being the most popular RA or having the biggest programs, but it’s about being intentional, authentic, and creating a space where residents can connect with one another.
And again, for our listeners, for our resident assistants that are here listening, remember that community building isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. And so it takes time. You’re not going to create a lifelong friendship immediately and overnight, but with those small intentional interactions, with every conflict that you help resolve, every communication that you have and every time you model a good community member and what that looks like for your floor.
And so until next time, keep on building those bridges with your students and turning those strangers into suitemates. And again, we wish you the best here at Roompact.
