In this episode of Roompact’s ResEdChat, join our host Noah and guest Emma Grupe, Resident Director at Miami University of Ohio, to talk about the field and what it looks like to enter Residence Life without a degree in Student Affairs. As we all know, Student Affairs is typically not a job that people plan on entering, but what does it look like when you go at it from another angle all together? How do we do a job while learning how to do it at the same time? Join Noah and Emma as they tackle these questions and share stories and advice for new Residence Life Professionals.
Guest: Emma Grupe (she/her/hers), Resident Director, Miami University
Host: Noah Montague
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About ResEdChat
Roompact’s ResEdChat podcast is a platform to showcase people doing great work and talk about hot topics in residence life and college student housing. If you have a topic idea for an episode, let us know!
Transcript:
Noah Montague:
Welcome back to Roompact’s ResEdChat Podcast, a platform to showcase people doing great work in residence life and college student housing as we talk about those topics. So my name is Noah Montague and I use he/him/his pronouns, and today I’m going to be your host. As you all know by now, I like to say that I’m a storyteller by trade, and the stories that I choose to focus on are those that center the college student experience and those of housing and residence life staff members, which makes me all the more excited to introduce today’s topic and today’s host. So today we’re going to be giving advice and talking about advice for new staff entering the field of residence life, while also focusing on the very specific experience of entering the field from a little bit of a different perspective. So I often like to say that residence life and student affairs in general is not a field that people plan to enter. This is not really a plan for most folks. I know that it was not for me.
I planned to be an English teacher in high schools and middle schools, and now I am going on seven years working in the field at this point. But in a lot of ways with that, we’re a field of people who find community, and space, and passion in something that wasn’t what we expected to be doing with our careers. Oftentimes, that route is majoring in anything under the sun, English education for me, and then entering a student affairs and higher education program before starting work in our field. But what about folks who enter from a different space altogether, maybe who do a different master’s degree or who have a different plan for entering the field? How do we do the job while learning how to do it all at the same time? So today we’re going to be talking about just that and that thus makes me so excited to introduce my good friend for today’s episode. So you all get to meet her. So I’m going to go ahead and let her introduce herself today.
Emma Grupe:
Hello everybody. My name is Emma Grupe. I use she/her pronouns. And yeah, I do have a very different kind of background coming into residence life. I was an RA for three years all throughout undergrad, so I have some of that perspective, but my degrees are totally not related at all to student affairs. So I actually majored in anthropology, linguistics, and Spanish, and my master’s degree is in Spanish, so totally random, does not seem like it connects at all to residence life. But I actually have found ways to connect it and so that’s what we’re here to talk about today and I’m really excited to be here with you, Noah. Thanks for having me.
Noah Montague:
I’m so excited to have you. I think this is going to be a lot of fun. And I’m just really looking forward to getting to have this conversation and get to know you and your experience a little bit more with it as well. Well, I guess, then getting us started then, Emma, what was it like stepping into your role in residence life without that student affairs background? I know you were an RA for a few years, but without the, quote, unquote, “typical” two years of a master’s program, what was that like for you?
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, it was definitely a challenge, for sure, especially because I did kind of a special master’s degree. And so, at my alma mater, which is Miami where I work currently, I was able to do a combined master’s program. So I actually graduated at 21 with both a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree. So I did not have a separate two-year experience with a master’s program. So even that, starting out really young was very different, starting out without having a little extra time of just being in a master’s program, that was also very different. And so, it was intimidating for sure. I was entering this field of people who, a lot of which were maybe not much older than me, but a little bit older than me. I was working with RAs now who are my age or a year younger. And so that kind of dynamic was difficult, but it was really fun.
I found a really good community with all the people, especially at least here at my current job. I’ve been really grateful to have so many mentors that were willing to help. And so, I think that was one of the things that helped me a lot was knowing that I could ask questions and not being worried about that. Because a lot of it is you come in blind, you really have no idea where to start. I started out, I just graduated. It was awesome. I have a master’s. And then, I’m right back down of I have no idea what I’m doing. And so that which everyone goes through when you’re starting a new position in any sort of field. That was amplified because I do not have that student affairs degree background. But at the same time, a lot of it was just learning as I went, asking questions, embracing the awkwardness and embracing the uncomfortableness, like the discomfort, I don’t know what this is. Once you embrace it, you got to go with it. Yeah.
Noah Montague:
Definitely. And even having the master’s degree, I definitely experienced a lot of that as well. You mentioned coming in and running a residence hall and staff being around your age that [inaudible 00:05:06]. My first year as a graduate assistant, which would have been your first year, the same transition just in how we went about things. I had two RAs that were older than me.
Emma Grupe:
I had one that was older than me too, significantly older than me. He was several years older than me, and I was like, “I’m your boss. I have to tell you what to do.” So that was a strange dynamic.
Noah Montague:
It was stressful. It added to that imposter syndrome and that space of being like, “Ooh, am I good enough to be here?” And having been an RA myself and that experience, and my supervisor was significantly older when I was an RA, I didn’t have the, okay, I’m 23 and about to graduate and my RD is 22. I didn’t have that.
Emma Grupe:
I didn’t either.
Noah Montague:
And that can be very common, and it was for me, I was the youngest in my cohort. I went through a lot of that imposter syndrome in that space. But having that background as an RA, in some ways, was almost more beneficial than-
Emma Grupe:
I think so too.
Noah Montague:
… a degree in some space.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah. I think the real life experience is some of the most important stuff that you can get because there’s just some things you can’t teach or you can’t learn from a textbook, which I know sounds cliche, but it really is true. There are times where the way I manage something is because I watched a supervisor do it as an RA and say, “I like that. I want to do that when I’m in that position.” And so, you have to go with that and trust your gut in those situations too. Yeah.
Noah Montague:
With that though, what do you think surprised you most about the work as you entered it? You talked a little bit about some of your experience there so far, but what maybe did you not expect?
Emma Grupe:
I didn’t expect a lot of things. It’s a really good question. Some things that I thought-
Noah Montague:
Truly figuring out as you go.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, a lot of it was like I thought that I knew how to do something and I was like, “Actually, wait, I need to do this a whole different way.” And I also think coming into it being an RA, there were times where I was a little overconfident and not in a bad way, but just like, “Oh, look, I know what I’m supposed to do here.” And then when I actually got into a situation, I’d be like, “Okay, I need to reframe this for now being the boss.” I could do this in the way that an RA would, sure, but there’s a better way to do it now that I’m above the RAs. So that was something that kind surprised me was the way I’d have to reframe my thinking for things to think more as a manager instead of a managee. I don’t know if that’s a word. You know what I mean. But yeah, that was probably the main thing.
And also, so one thing I did not expect was how much I would learn in such a short amount of time because I think back to me in August of last year, first starting this job and I’m a different person in a good way. I’ve learned so many things. I know how to manage situations that I would’ve freaked out about before. Internally, I would freak out internally, I’d be very professional and [inaudible 00:08:13]. Really, I’d be freaking out. And so that’s really cool because now I know, I’m like, “I can handle that. That’s not a big deal. I can do that. I’ve had tough conversations.” So learning so much about myself was also something I did not expect in that thing. And my capabilities, realizing how many and how much capability I do have in this role. That was really cool.
Noah Montague:
And I always love talking, well, to you, but also to folks who don’t have that same experience with theory and student development that I learned in the classroom. Because what you just described is the learning partnership model of-
Emma Grupe:
Isn’t that fantastic?
Noah Montague:
… student development and talking about learning with students and partnering with them in their own growth and learning and that experience. And they often talk about the learning partnership model is this image of a tandem bicycle and that the supervisor, the RD in our case, the educator is on the back of the bicycle helping pedal while the student steers where it needs to go. And I love getting to see folks put these things into practice without even really noticing that they’re doing it.
Emma Grupe:
Isn’t that cool how it works out? It really does.
Noah Montague:
It’s what you just said.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, there’s a lot of things that I know and experience without having a name for. And so it’s really cool to see, like you, you had that experience, you have names for it, and that’s so cool, that matches. I love that.
Noah Montague:
And I knew that would happen somewhere in here as well. And just this idea that like experiences and allowing a name for something, and that’s very prevalent in a lot of different spaces and having a name for something. But getting to hear you talk about that and that you have grown through this year as well. And maybe that being something that was a surprise, just so cool to hear. I think that likewise, that was something that I noticed pretty quickly as I went. Of course, I had the terminology and the understanding feels like the wrong word, but the expectation that that would happen. Because my student affairs professors were like, “This is going to be a part of your job that you are also going to be learning from these students.” And that was an ongoing conversation that we had.
And in so many ways during my first couple years, I grew and was surprised by that. I came into this job thinking that I had to behave and act a very specific way, and that was rooted in a lot of interesting whiteness, and professionalism, and what is it expected. And I couldn’t be out in my work. I couldn’t talk about a lot of things. And very quickly, I actually had two of my RAs at the time, this was my very first year working in residence life as a supervisor. Two of my RAs made a document, and at the time I was like, “That’s a little bit weird.” But now I think it taught me a lot and I reflected a lot. They had a running document that they titled Things That We Know About Noah. And there were three things on it because I wasn’t talking. I believed that I had to be this professional figure and as if my experiences, who I am, isn’t why I went into role to begin with.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, that’s fascinating.
Noah Montague:
And they showed me this list and they were like, “Noah, we feel like we don’t really know you.” And that was a couple months into the job, and I made that very quick switch was, okay, they actually want to know who I am and that matters.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, I think in this job-
Noah Montague:
I think it was one of the bigger surprises that I had, and then I learned about it in classes that that mattered in that space as well. But that was probably my biggest surprise coming-
Emma Grupe:
I like that.
Noah Montague:
… from the very beginning.
Emma Grupe:
And what were some of the changes you noticed after you started being more open with your RAs? Like?
Noah Montague:
They were significantly more open to me. I got to know them a lot more. We got to connect a lot more. And I actually had one of those two RAs who made that silly little list is in student affairs now, partially because we were able to build that connection and talk. She works in residence life at another institution, but we were able to connect and build that space then together and we keep up.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah. Oh, that’s awesome.
Noah Montague:
And she’s getting married soon.
Emma Grupe:
Congrats to her, that’s awesome.
Noah Montague:
Yeah, I’m very excited. But yeah, that was one of my bigger surprises was that who I am and what is important to me within my own research and my own passions also matters in the job.
Emma Grupe:
Yes. I think with a job like this-
Noah Montague:
Which I’m sure you relate to as well with the spaces that you care about and the things that you’re passionate about.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, with a job like this that’s so person-facing, I mean, literally our job is to care about people and to assist people. And so in that sense, I think, yeah, it’s so hard to lock yourself away. And that there’s no way to breach into actually being able to do the meat of the job if you’re closed off, which I get. I was also, when I started out, I was like, it’s my first big girl job, as I call it, I have a big girl job. I need to be perfectly professional.
But I think also living in the buildings and in our institution that we live in the dorms, and so I think that… I mean, they’re going to see me in my flip-flops, my robe, coming out to get someone from the vending machine. So they see me as a person anyway, so I can be a person, that’s okay, you just have to be a person. And so that was kind of a fun surprise. I like that about this job because I know that’s not the case for lots of jobs. But for this one specifically, that was a nice surprise, I think, just to be like, yes, I can breathe. They can see me have a little bit of a crash out, and it’s okay as long as we fix it all together and do it together.
Noah Montague:
And us being people empowers them to feel like they’re allowed to be.
Emma Grupe:
Yes. Absolutely.
Noah Montague:
They’re allowed to go through struggles if they see us take a day or be a person.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah. One of the most, I think it was really interesting is that I talked a lot with my RAs. I was really, really honest with them about I have ADHD. And so, I was really honest with them about what that meant to me specifically in this role. And I found that to be super helpful because I told them, for example, I said, if I don’t write something down, it’s gone. Object permanence, who is she? She’s gone. Like I don’t [inaudible 00:15:12].
Noah Montague:
She’s somewhere, but she’s not here.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah. I’m like, if I don’t write something down, it disappears. And so I told them, I was really honest with them. I said, “If I do happen to forget something, that does not mean I don’t care about it. It just meant that I didn’t write it down fast enough and I totally forgot about it. And that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or it’s not important to me what this thing is, but you need to remind me and I’m not going to be mad at you.” And I had an instance where an RA who was new to my team, he was upset at one point because I had forgotten something. And again, it happens very rarely because that’s something I’ve worked really hard on just to be on top of that kind of stuff. But it did happen where I totally forgot that he had told me something.
And one of the other RAs was like, “Oh I remember, Emma said that she forgets something. It’s not because she doesn’t care. It’s she just didn’t write it down fast enough.” And he was like, “Oh, that’s right.” And then it was fine and we had a conversation about it. But it was really cool that my RAs were able to communicate with each other and be like, “Oh, Emma told us this. That’s okay.” And so, it kind of cut what would’ve been a bigger problem off at the past. And so yeah, I think being vulnerable with your RAs is a great tool that’s hard to learn because it’s hard to be vulnerable, especially if you’re their age, especially if you’re new. But yeah, that was a cool surprise for me as well. Yeah.
Noah Montague:
I love that. I think about that all the time and how different my experience would’ve been without that. But thinking a little bit more about how, because we started talking about this idea of learning and building that confidence in your role. And figuring out what that looks like for you and what that did and still does because we continue to build that. And imposter syndrome is always present in conversations. But what resources and strategies helped you build that confidence in maybe those early days of getting into the job and figuring things out?
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, absolutely. I definitely think for me, it was utilizing my system. So when I met people and I did have the benefit of working, starting work where I graduated from and was an RA at. And so I already knew some of you. But definitely utilizing the people that I already knew, making new connections, asking questions. I know I walked up to you and I was like, “Noah, I really want to be your friend. Can we be friends?” I was five years old on the playground, I did, I said, “I want to be your friend. Let’s be friends.” But we made that connection. Then I was able to ask you questions and learn from you. And so that’s my main point of that was my starting point, I suppose, for getting used to this job and learning things. And I also did a lot of research, reading because I didn’t have that student affairs class background.
But yeah, I did some research. I did both research in person with the people around me, asked my peers, my supervisors. And I also just like internet, internet’s great, look up stuff. And so, that was a cool kind of tool I used. But yeah, the main tool I would say, overall, is the people around you. Ask your coworkers, ask your boss, ask your RAs, maybe they know something even though they may not know exactly, they may have a different perspective. And so, when I kind of adopted that mindset of, like we said, learning with people, and again, I was honest with my RAs about that too. I said, “This is my first year doing this. We’re going to learn together. We’re going to figure this stuff out together. And so if I mess up, that’s okay. I just ask you give me the same grace I’ll give you.”
And so yeah, a lot of it was just asking questions. Yeah, that’s really the main thing. I ask all the questions. If you’re not sure of something, ask because chances are somebody else has the exact same question that you do, which again, it’s another cliche, but it’s very true. It’s cliche for a reason.
Noah Montague:
Very, very, very true. Most cliches are cliches for a reason, I’ve learned.
Emma Grupe:
I hate when my mom’s right, she always [inaudible 00:19:04].
Noah Montague:
Me too.
Emma Grupe:
She’s like, “You’ll get it. Don’t worry. This’ll work out.” And I’m like, “Yes, it did, and you were right.” But yeah, it works out.
Noah Montague:
It does tend to be right.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah.
Noah Montague:
I think for me, I completely agree with you and our job is to create community for students and to be there and facilitate that, and to be a part of students learning who they are.
Emma Grupe:
Absolutely.
Noah Montague:
While that is so, so, so exciting, who would we be if we were not also working to create that community for ourselves?
Emma Grupe:
Exactly, yeah.
Noah Montague:
And that community-
Emma Grupe:
I’m still figuring out who I am. We’re all still figuring out who we are.
Noah Montague:
We think about that in our whole lives.
Emma Grupe:
I think we’re 10, 12 different people even more throughout our entire lives. So yeah, we got to do that.
Noah Montague:
I think that for me, relying on that space to my supervisors when I was entering the role and still my supervisors now, but also building connections like ours and with other folks that I have on campus and other campuses, and asking questions. Recently I had a, situation is the wrong word. I had a question around hiring my staff and what things were going to be looking like with that. And I knew what I wanted to do for my staff, but I wanted to talk to someone with a different perspective about it and be like, I am concerned about perception, I’m concerned about… And I learned very quickly that my concerns were completely unfounded, for one, [inaudible 00:20:40].
Emma Grupe:
Always how it works out again.
Noah Montague:
But I talked to a colleague from another school and just walked through what I was thinking and we had a really open and honest conversation about it. And I ended up doing what I knew I needed to do to begin with within that space. But I think just having that other person tell me, you’re right.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, sometimes you just need that validation.
Noah Montague:
You know what you’re doing.
Emma Grupe:
Yes.
Noah Montague:
And I’m like, “Yes, I do. You’re right. Thank you so much.”
Emma Grupe:
Thank you. You’re so right, thank you.”
Noah Montague:
I really [inaudible 00:21:07]. But I think especially when you’re beginning the role asking those questions, and for me when my supervisor every time would be like, “What do you think we should do?” And then what he did that I thought was super helpful and I’ve incorporated into my own practice was he would just say, “Okay, let’s do that.” And if it didn’t work, I got to learn from that. And if it did, then we got to learn from that. And either way, I think it was a beneficial place to be. So leaning on that community is so huge.
Emma Grupe:
So important. Especially going back to the whole topic of this episode is that I don’t have that student affairs background. I have a little bit of RA stuff, but because I don’t have the words for some certain things, I don’t have the vocabulary, I don’t have the experience asking those questions. It just builds so much more of what we need. It really does. And so asking, how do I do this in a better way? Is this the right thing to be doing? But you’re right, most of the time it’s like, yeah, you know what you’re doing. Trust your gut, you’re good. You already know. But I agree. I think another thing, going back to asking a friend from a different school. I took advantage of another… My resource that I did was I took advantage of the conferences that they allowed us to go to or were able to help, we were able to use our professional development funds to go to. And so I went to GLACUHO over in, what was it, November?
And that was a really cool experience because again, that was, I was what? Three months into the job. And this was my first big conference. And so, being able to meet other people who are around my age, who are older than me, or younger than me, or working towards the same goal but in different perspectives, different areas, that was really cool and really helpful. Because it made me realize, this could be a career and it does so much good and everyone has a different way of seeing how we do things in residence life. And so, that was also a really cool resource to do. So if you have the ability to do those kinds of things, go to conferences, do it. I would highly recommend it.
Noah Montague:
I would as well. I love a good conference.
Emma Grupe:
And it’s so much fun. And it was fun [inaudible 00:23:15], I guess.
Noah Montague:
[inaudible 00:23:15] space for that connection, that community, but also to learn more.
Emma Grupe:
Yes, I learned so much. It was the coolest. And it was cool, there was so, it was just fun. I learned so many cool different things. I went to all of these different presentations. I didn’t even think about being a part of what we do. And I was like, that makes so much sense. It gives me words for things. It gives me more to go on and things I wanted to change after that first semester because I realized they’re working fine, but we can improve upon them. And so, that was a really cool way to develop myself and gain more confidence, for sure.
Noah Montague:
That is so cool.
Emma Grupe:
Love it.
Noah Montague:
I think that with that and developing confidence and learning more about the field itself, you’re also bringing in so much from your other experiences. I know that even from my undergraduate degree and my focus in English literature and creative writing, I use a lot of that now pretty regularly actually. Because you and I both know we have to write a lot. We have a lot of annual reports and things like that. But what strengths do you think that you would say that you have brought into the role from your non-student affairs background?
Emma Grupe:
That’s such a good question. And so again, my undergraduate degrees was in anthropology, linguistics, and Spanish. My master’s is in Spanish. And so again, totally out of left field to join when it comes to student affairs. But in the same time, it’s not. And you hear me talk about linguistics all the time, I am fascinated by language. I’m fascinated by culture language. But I found that that actually really does tie into residence life because anthropology is the study of humans, and I’m basically practicing anthropology every day with some of these students. And so we really do learn how students work, how their brains work, what the culture of a university as what the culture within an RA team is. And so, I think having that background in anthropology and that appreciation for and knowledge that everyone has a different way of doing things doesn’t mean there’s one way that’s right or wrong. It just is. I think that was a cool strength that I brought in.
And again, I’m always an advocate for being bilingual. If you have the opportunity to learn another language, if you already speak another language, keep that up, keep practicing because the amount of doors that it opens is incredible. The amount of relationships I have been able to make with students simply because they’re in Spanish classes, because it’s something we have in common immediately. And so being able to utilize whatever your background might be, but bring it into that connection with students. Someone’s like, I had a student that was like, “Oh, I’m taking German.” I was like, “That’s awesome. I majored in Spanish. Is that going to be a major? Is it a minor? Is it just for fun?” And we were able to have that conversation even though we wouldn’t have that language in common. Obviously we both spoke English, but we didn’t have a language of interest in common. I was still able to create that connection.
And so, I think that’s a huge strength that anybody can really bring in is just utilizing what you already have and adapting it to your job. So being able to talk with students, especially there were students that I had that spoke Spanish at home, and it was really cool to be able to talk with them in Spanish just for fun. They were like, “Yeah, I miss talking to my parents. Let’s talk in Spanish.” It’s like, “Great, let’s do it.” So I think having a second language opens up so many doors. I can about this forever, but I won’t. I would take the whole [inaudible 00:26:45].
Noah Montague:
Maybe another episode.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, literally just me talking about Spanish has nothing to do with residence life at all. Just talking. Oh my gosh. But you can tell I love it, but that’s another thing. I’m passionate about it. It’s something I love. And if you bring that into the position, it’s so exciting because students see how excited you get about that. Even I was really lucky and I was able to study abroad in undergrad. And so, when students come to me and say, “I’m thinking about studying abroad.” I’m like, “Do it. It’s so cool. Where do you want to go? What are you thinking about? What would you study there? Would you do the Luxembourg program we have here at Miami? Or would you do an exchange program? What are your thoughts on that?”
And so being able to be interested, to be excited with them, I think that’s a really important strength that I have that just comes from being excited about my own things. You can just kind of transfer that. So those are probably my main strengths in terms of residence life. Of course, there’s stuff like I have a degree and so I can relate to them in that things. But for the main less concrete strengths, I think those are great ones right there.
Noah Montague:
Wow. I think it’s so cool that even though we have those different paths into this, I related so much to a lot of what you just talked about too. It’s like, for me with my background in English literature and creative writing, I have kind of evolved that not only into writing those annual reports that we’ve already covered, but also
Emma Grupe:
…reports.
Noah Montague:
… the annual reports and every other brokering.
Emma Grupe:
Everything, every day.
Noah Montague:
I have evolved that space into my own research and into talking about storytelling, and leadership development, and counter story, and all of these different spaces of story as helping students find their voice and what that looks like. And being able to take that passion for storytelling that I have and make it into something that makes sense within what I do every single day.
Emma Grupe:
Absolutely.
Noah Montague:
Asking students about their lives and about their experiences is inviting them to become storytellers and talk to me and like-
Emma Grupe:
And exist within themselves and just be.
Noah Montague:
Exist within themselves and kind of understand who they are in a different way, because we learn through expressing as an individual.
Emma Grupe:
And language, language is so intertwined with everything we do, and it’s wonderful.
Noah Montague:
It is.
Emma Grupe:
It’s so amazing.
Noah Montague:
I also was just thinking about what stories aren’t being told and what stories historically haven’t been allowed to be told and how I work to prioritize supporting students of color, and marginalized students, and LGBTQ students. And thinking about, okay, where are the gaps not only in the literature, but maybe in our practice or literature even literally in my [inaudible 00:29:38] background. But also, where can we do better as student affairs practitioners and residents life in prioritizing these stories is where it comes out for me. And I always think that’s really cool and exciting. Not even to toot my own horn, but that’s where I see my overlap from my past experience there.
Emma Grupe:
I actually really relate to what you’re saying in that sense in terms of allowing people to find a voice and utilizing what you know to help them build a voice. Because in that sense, language is the same thing. The ways that we communicate, not one, every single person has a different way of communicating, and it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong, or bad, or different. It doesn’t mean that someone’s grammar is wrong. There’s no such thing as wrong grammar. It’s just the way someone speaks. And so, I think that bringing in that kind of topic we talked about in linguistics class of like prescriptivism versus descriptivism and be descriptive of something, not be judgmental of how they sound. That has helped me too in that sense. It’s like it doesn’t matter how they sound or how they’re talking, it matters that they are talking and it matters that their voice is being heard. And so that was another really cool thing the linguistics, and language, and storytelling can bring into these things. That’s really cool and that’s neat that we had that kind of similar connection.
Noah Montague:
Linguistics in English have a good amount of connection.
Emma Grupe:
I would hope so. Yeah.
Noah Montague:
One might think there’s a little bit of overlap there.
Emma Grupe:
Yes. Sure.
Noah Montague:
But yeah, I think about that often in how our backgrounds outside of student affairs because I have the master’s degree, but how I work to bring that passion area that, quote, unquote, “didn’t work out” because I didn’t become an English teacher. That was the degree, that was the plan, and I didn’t do it, but how do I incorporate that into my work? I’m enjoying getting to hear that you’re doing that in both the same and a very different way.
Emma Grupe:
Exactly.
Noah Montague:
You didn’t go for the master’s degree straight up until you finished your Spanish degree. That was your plan.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah. I was like, what am I going to do with Spanish? Who knows? But I loved it.
Noah Montague:
And now we’re here.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah. And now we’re here and I can still use it. And it’s fun to have that other connection with students that are also in the Spanish major. And it’s cool to have, I think, connections with faculty too. Because even though, and again, I think this will be a little bit different if I didn’t go to the place I currently work for as my undergrad degree or master’s degree as well. But even then, being able to have connections with the Spanish faculty members here and as with the anthropology members here, because I can say, “Oh, you have that professor. That’s wonderful. I get coffee with him occasionally. That’s great.”
And so, keeping up those connections with faculty too and remaining intertwined with the university or becoming intertwined with a new university, even if you didn’t go there as a student, I think is so important. Because it lets us connect with students, but connect with their world because in many ways we share the same world, but in other ways we’re totally separate. And so being able to intertwine and really understand what they mean when they talk about a certain class, that I think is also very valuable in that sense as well.
Noah Montague:
Yeah, I completely agree. I guess, I’m going to wrap us up. What advice might you give to a new residence life staff member, to someone entering our field, our work for the first time now with this year that you have under your belt, all the experience that you have in and outside now, what advice would you give? Maybe one or so pieces of tangible-
Emma Grupe:
Oh, that’s such a good question. Ask questions. Always ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid of looking stupid. You’re probably going to look stupid, and that’s okay because we all look stupid every day, so it’s okay. There’s always something that you’re going to do that’s going to be a little goofy. You may make yourself into a fool, but that’s okay. Embrace that discomfort. It was really interesting. I was talking to my aunt who’s had years, and years, and years of managerial experience, and she talked about this notion of what’s called the trough of despair. Have you heard of that?
Noah Montague:
I’ve not.
Emma Grupe:
It’s a cool phenomenon where it’s basically like you start on top of the world because you just graduated or you’re in a job, you know what you’re doing, and then you start a new job. And you’re in this trough and you have to crawl out of it, and it takes a long time to crawl out of it. And for me, it’s taken almost as whole year, and I’m still almost, I’m still sometimes in it. But once you do that, once you get out of it, you ask questions, you feel settled, you gain more confidence, then you know that whenever you’re in that trough again, it’s going to take you less time to crawl out. It’s going to be easier to crawl out of it. And so yeah, I hadn’t heard that before until my aunt and I were talking about that, but I think that’s a really cool kind of metaphor to think of.
Yes, you may struggle at the beginning, but that’s okay. You’re still getting out of it. You’re going to be fine. And then if you have to ever do it again, you’re going to do it so much better because you already know what you need. And so embrace the discomfort, ask questions. Don’t be afraid to screw up. I’ve screwed up many a time. It’s not the end of the world. You’re not a bad person because you made a mistake. Because as someone with an anxiety, I was like, I’m a terrible person, I messed up once. No. Just a lot of it is slowing down just living in the moment and being excited about what you’re doing. So yeah, ask questions. That’s my main thing, though. Always ask questions. It’s okay to mess up and you can do it, which I know, again, back to the cliche, but you can’t do it. Yeah, it takes a little bit, but once you get out of that trough, you’re golden. And then it’s just smooth sailing from there.
Noah Montague:
I think that the only thing I would add to that, because I completely agree with everything you just talked about. I often say from my old supervisor, Andy Obergamantia, I like to quote him. He would often say, “If you enter this work caring and showing students that you care, you’re already doing 90% of the job.”
Emma Grupe:
Absolutely.
Noah Montague:
I think about that often, and I’ve said it on previous episodes as well, so listeners, forgive me for that.
Emma Grupe:
We’re back in the building.
Noah Montague:
Knowing that care, and in this context thinking about that quote, if you’re coming into this field, whether you have a student affairs background, whether you don’t have the student affairs background. You have experiences that you can leverage in this work that are beneficial and that students will relate to. Emma, you have to talk about your work in studying abroad and in your many majors.
Emma Grupe:
Yes, way too many. Girl, I didn’t sleep, are you kidding me?
Noah Montague:
Several, several, several majors.
Emma Grupe:
Maybe basically four because I did the master’s at the same time. I’m insane.
Noah Montague:
Being able to leverage that experience, and relate, and connect, and provide that advice to students, whether you’re at the institution you went to as an undergrad or not, working towards that is huge. I know that as I have worked here, I do the same thing as you do. I’ll provide resources with professors, with different folks. But I think the biggest piece of advice that I would give is to trust the experience that you have.
Emma Grupe:
Absolutely.
Noah Montague:
A lot of people apply for these jobs and a lot of people don’t get them. And then the reality of it. And I think that-
Emma Grupe:
We’re here for a reason.
Noah Montague:
… remembering that you were hired to do the work, I know has helped me with [inaudible 00:37:09].
Emma Grupe:
Yeah. Knowing that I’m here for a reason.
Noah Montague:
But thinking about how to leverage that work and that experience for me, I present not only at Miami, but I’ve presented around the country on storytelling and leadership. Now I’ve had that opportunity to be able to do that, and you have had the opportunity to go to conferences and be able to connect, and learn, and create that space with other folks. So I think that trust yourself, leverage who you are and what you’ve done, and engage with those opportunities as you can would be the additional things I’d add.
Emma Grupe:
Yeah, like you said, you’re here for a reason. If you’re in it, trust your gut. Trust those around you. Lean on those around you because this job can be hard too. There’s times where there’s crises, there’s times where you have to have-
Noah Montague:
Oh, for sure.
Emma Grupe:
… difficult conversations. And so, being able to make those connections with your peers, it is been great to be able to talk to you about certain things and just don’t underestimate the power that you have as a person in this role as well, and the community as a whole, both to benefit you, and the students, and the job in general. So yeah, don’t doubt yourself. You got it. You’re killing it.
Noah Montague:
You said that better myself. I’m not even going to try. So-
Emma Grupe:
Thank you. I’m flattered.
Noah Montague:
Emma, that wraps up our time together today.
Emma Grupe:
Wonderful.
Noah Montague:
Thank you so, so, so much for joining me. I hope you had fun.
Emma Grupe:
I had so much fun. Thanks so much for having me. This is wonderful.
Noah Montague:
And thank you all for joining us on today’s episode of ResEdChat. If you have an idea for a topic or a guest that you would like us to bring on, please feel free to reach out to Roompact and let us know. But for now, keep taking care of each other and enjoy the rest of your day. Bye for now folks.
Emma Grupe:
Bye.
