Are you a higher education professional who can cite Schlossberg, Chickering, Reisser, Baxter Magolda, and Astin in their sleep? Are you a lifelong learner looking to diversify your sources of knowledge? Or perhaps you’re a paraprofessional looking for some words of wisdom for yourself and your residents? If so, look no further! We’ll be exploring unconventional sources of knowledge for the modern housing professional. First up? We’ll be exploring the ancient Greek philosophical school of Stoicism.
What is Stoicism?
Dating all the way back to the 3rd century BCE, Stoicism roots itself in the practices of seeking truth, living virtuously, working towards a common good, and fostering resilience. Stoicism empowers individuals to master their own emotions (easier said than done), see life objectively, and accept their limited sphere of control. Here are some of my favorite takeaways that I’ve put to use in my everyday life as a housing professional.
1. Practice Daily Reflection
Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is a key primary source in Stoicism. The book is a collection of life lessons and personal reflections from the emperor, meant to be more for his personal use rather than widespread consumption. In modern times, Meditations could be compared to a reflective journal. Just as Marcus Aurelius wrote Meditations for his own personal benefit, consider writing your own daily thoughts, behaviors, and observations and encouraging residents to do so as well. As lifelong learners, we owe it to ourselves to learn from our own experiences, and writing things down, whether physically or digitally, can empower students to identify their own areas for personal growth too.
2. Reaction is not Reality
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Much to my childhood self’s chagrin, this philosophical question is not meant to be interpreted literally. Rather, it asks us to consider how our subjective reactions factor into situations. Consider this common scenario: Roommate A needs to do laundry, but Roommate B’s clothes are in the dryer and they aren’t home. Roommate A places the dry clothes on Roommate B’s bed so they can do their own laundry. Consequently, Roommate B could feel disrespected, slightly annoyed, grateful, or something else entirely. The same goes for Roommate A.
The trajectory of this scenario is almost entirely driven by reactions, but reactions are not reality. This situation is not inherently good, bad, disrespectful, annoying, or anything else. It only becomes those things when we choose to assign it those values. When you find yourself addressing conflicts that arise from subjective perceptions, challenge students to see how different reactions (or no reaction at all) might produce different results.
3. Recognize Your Sphere of Control
Baxter Magolda’s Theory of Self-Authorship outlines that the three elements of self-authorship have to do with controlling one’s thoughts and reactions, building personal philosophies, and living life authentically through the confluence of the first two elements. While this theory does focus on the few things we can control, it’s scarcely used to demonstrate how limited our control truly is.
Stoicism dictates that we only have control over our own body and mind, and for those of us who struggle with mental health and/or physical disabilities, even these things are not always within our control. Higher education is a high stress environment for students and professionals alike, and we are often in situations where increased control would lead to decreased stress. Personally, I would love for every meeting I attend to start exactly on time and end 10 minutes early, but no amount of wishing or pleading with coworkers will make that dream a reality. I’ve also encountered many students who would love nothing more than for me to administratively move their roommates at the first sign of conflict. In situations like these, it’s important to separate what is within and without your control, and focus on that which is within.
4. Being Good as a Form of Self-Care
In housing, we often encounter students on some of their worst days. When they feel backed into a corner, students can say and do hurtful things during roommate conflicts, conduct cases, and confrontations over policy violations. While treating others poorly can provide immediate satisfaction, the long-term results are often damaged relationships and lingering feelings of regret and shame. Utilizing restorative questions like “What has been the impact of your actions?” and “What have you been thinking since then?” can help students realize that harmful behavior rarely results in their desired outcome. While students won’t always have the best interests of others in mind, reframing positive behavior as a form of prioritizing their own goals and well-being is a lesson that they may be developmentally prepared to receive.
Want to Learn More?
I spent more time than I’m willing to admit condensing this list of takeaways into a blog format. If you enjoyed this post and want to learn more about Stoicism, I highly recommend The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. The Daily Stoic brings Stoicism into the modern age by re-contextualizing primary sources for today’s society into a page-a-day format. It exists in both book and journal form and contains well-translated snippets of primary sources, as well as its own list of suggested further readings.
