Ever feel like, “I don’t get paid enough for this”? In this episode of Roompact’s RA*Chat, we dive into the unexpected, stressful, and sometimes chaotic moments of being an RA. We’ll talk about handling difficult situations, setting boundaries, venting professionally, avoiding burnout, and remembering that you don’t have to handle everything alone and remembering your humanity in all of the chaos. Because being a good RA isn’t about fixing everything, it’s about knowing when to respond, when to ask for help, and how to take care of yourself along the way. We are joined by seasoned professional Jordy Plieseis (They/Them) to talk about their experience in residence life and how RAs can work through these moments.
Guest: Jordy Plieseis, M.Ed. (she/her), 1st Year PhD Student at the University of Maryland College Park and Graduate Assistant for Restorative Practices and Community Engagement for the Department of Resident Life
Host: Anthony Martinez
Background music via https://www.FesliyanStudios.com
Listen to the Podcast:
Watch the Video:
Show Notes:
Roompact’s RA*Chat podcast highlights important topics and issues for student staff working in residence life and education.
Transcript:
Anthony Martinez:
Howdy, everybody. Welcome back to the Roompact Podcast, your go-to space for all things residents’ life. We have a special RA360 episode for you today. And so today’s episode is one, let’s be honest, every RA has had at least once. That moment where you’re standing there thinking, “I do not get paid enough for this.” And so whether it’s a 2:00 AM incident, a difficult conversation, or something completely unexpected, those moments are part of the role, but they’re not always talked about openly. And so today’s episode is called the I Don’t Get Paid Enough for These Moments. We’re getting real about tough, frustrating, and sometimes overwhelming parts of being an RA and how to handle them without being burnt out or becoming so cynical in the role. And so I’m joined by a seasoned professional who’s seen it all and supported resident life staff members through these exact moments, Jordy. So Jordy, can you please introduce yourself, how long you’ve worked in housing, where you’re at now, what you’re up to, and everything else you’d like our audience to know.
Jordy Plieseis:
Well, hi. So thank you so much for the introduction. My name is Jordy Plieseis and I am currently a first year doc student at the University of Maryland, but most recently I just graduated from the University of Texas at Austin with my master’s of education in higher education leadership and policy. I love the word seasoned. I have not been a seasoned professional yet, so that was very exciting. Thank you so much for telling me that. I’m going to use that to boost my ego. But I have been in residence life for about five and a half years in live on spaces and live on capacity. So I was supervising the resident assistants, and now most recently I am working in resident life in a capacity that is talking about restorative justice, restorative philosophy, and how to center our RAs on community development versus more like programming.
Anthony Martinez:
Jordy, you are seasoned. Come on, five and a half years. I know you have the knowledge and I’m so excited to talk to you today about your knowledge. And so the first question I want to get started with is what’s one misconception people have about how easy the RA role is? And so we’ll sometimes hear this, students applying or staff members who maybe don’t know about residence life, “Oh, being an RA, it’s easy. You just program community building.”
Jordy Plieseis:
Yeah. And it’s so shocking to me now when I hear folks say, “Oh, it’s so easy to be an RA because all you do is programming.” And never does it come up of like, “Well, how do you program?” And so it always is so shocking to me. I think the misconception for me is when people think of even when students do know that there’s a on-call or duty capacity, what that really looks like. And yeah, it can sound easy in theory of at 11:00 PM someone’s coming in and you have to open their door because they left their key inside, but really talking about what happens at 3:00 in the morning when a student is facing a mental health crisis or is having this really hard challenging time of I failed an exam or I just was broken up with or I don’t know where I’m going on winter break. These are real things that students are facing. And I think that’s the hardest part. And I think that is the most intimidating part of the position.
It’s I think easy for students to grapple with the idea of, I know how to build community because I have friends or I’ve seen my RA do it. But then you start thinking of, I’m not a clinician. I don’t know how to deal with someone who has mental health concerns in the moment. And so now you want me to go into that space and deal with that? That is really intimidating. And so I don’t think students think about that as much as maybe they should.
Anthony Martinez:
No. Agreed. And so with that, do you remember in being in your career and working with these students a moment when you realized that being an RA just wasn’t about programming and building a community? And so you mentioned this a little bit with on-call and working with people in maybe a mental health crisis.
Jordy Plieseis:
Yeah. I remember the first time I was on call as a professional staff member with an RA who was dealing with a mental health crisis, and it was just so intimidating for that student and also having to grapple with, it was my first time being on call with a mental health crisis, their first time on mental health crisis. And we just had this moment of, oh yeah, we don’t get paid enough to do this. They just assigned us to do this and we’re supposed to call people and know who to call and what to say and deescalate in ways that is just very unnatural to people. And so I remember the first time where I was working with this RA and the student was facing a mental health crisis, was having some suicide ideation, and we were trying to get them to talk to the suicide hotline and they were just not having it. And the RA was getting very emotional and very frustrated of this is the protocol. The protocol is I tell you that you belong here and you belong in this space and why are you not listening to the resources? I’m giving you the resources. Why aren’t you taking them? It’s so frustrating and that’s a real emotion.
And I remember that student being like, “Well, you just call, just call them, please. I’m begging you.” And we start bartering with these students of, “Please call. It helps me help you.” And I just remember taking this moment of having to take a step back and realize we are putting students … and I think a lot of RAs feel this. Where we’re putting students in situations where they are just not equipped for those tasks until they’ve done it one, two, three times. You can say, “Hey, I’m going to do …” I think it’s very popular to have a QPR training or some sort of suicide ideation training, but until you practice that in real time, it feels very formulaic. It feels very performative. And in that moment, I think that was a realization for that student and that RA of the performance of going through that step sometimes just isn’t realistic.
And so how do you grapple with, this is a scary situation for me, this is probably a scary situation for them, and I still have a job to do. And I think that was the first moment that I realized, wow, we really need to start focusing more on community development and doing more of the proactive support of students rather than that reactive of, oh, now we’re in a crisis and now I have to help you, but we have very little rapport or you’ve only come to a couple of my events and floor meetings, so you don’t really know who I am. And so I think that was the moment I really realized there’s so much more nuance to the RA role than just programming and lock changes.
Anthony Martinez:
No, I love that. Being proactive in your community is huge, which ties back to why people associate us with program and community building. And you touched on this, and I know for the audience listening, we’ve had mental health crisis. I know flooding is a huge thing that happens in different residence halls. And so natural disasters, that may be happening with power outages and cold winds. And so with that in these moments, how do you help RAs reframe what’s going on in these situations to feel a bit more manageable?
Jordy Plieseis:
Yeah. So something that I’ve been really grappling with over the last couple of years of my career and with this career shift out of live on staff capacity into more of a student support resource capacity is how do we center our humanity as live on staff? And I think that is something that I really want RAs to know is in those moments, you are also going through this with your resident. So if we are talking about a facility crisis where there’s flooding and you’re not just going through the formula in your head of, okay, let’s make sure that we take everything off of the ground and move it to the bed so that it doesn’t get ruined. And there’s more nuance to that. There’s more humanity in that.
And so take a step back and say, this is a wild situation. Your toilet is flooding and we’re running around trying to get your stuff off of the ground and it’s a little chaotic and it’s funny after the fact maybe, but in the moment it’s really serious and really scary. Especially for first year students who maybe this is the first crisis they’ve dealt with without their parents or their at-home support systems. And so naming that and also centering yourself as an RA to say, this is the first time I’ve ever done this. This is the first time I’ve ever experienced this. I am going through this process with you instead of for you or even alongside you. I think this is happening to me as well.
And I think when we are allowed to reframe and support students saying, you are also experiencing this trauma with these students, I think there’s a little bit more comfort with the resident assistants to say, yeah, I’m experiencing this and this is traumatic for me, but there are other people and other resources that I also know that I can tap into. And so I’ve been really grappling with this idea of if we just started reminding students, RA specifically that they are also in this community, they’re not just the stewards of the community development, they’re not just the people who are the boss on the floor, but they are a community member. How does that change when we face crises with our students for the first time?
Anthony Martinez:
Jordy, I love these podcasts and it’s for exact moments like these. You’re talking about humanity being like, we’re doing this together, this is us. I think this is great. And so for our audience listening, I hope you’re taking notes because I’m really excited where this is going to go next because we’re going to talk about a little bit post. So we have all this going on, situations are happening. RAs are like you mentioned like, well, I’m overwhelmed. And so there comes a point when students want to vent. And so how can RAs process their frustration in a healthy and professional way? And let’s be honest, RAs are going to be frustrated. So what does healthy venting actually look like? Or if you have something else that you think RAs can do when it comes to expressing their concerns when they’re handling these situations? I just want to know your thoughts.
Jordy Plieseis:
Yeah. I would love to say that I think the RAs that I have worked with have been privileged to have somebody who just does not believe in professionalism in the context of, I think the way that we frame professionalism is that you have to turn off that humanity and you have to turn off that personhood to be able to effectively communicate what you’re feeling. That doesn’t sit well with me, especially in live on capacities of no, that fire alarm that you had me navigate evacuating this building, I also was in that building. Or that student who was having a fight with their partner that I had to deal with, I also was in that argument trying to deescalate them. And so I think there’s this moment where I don’t necessarily know if I believe that there is a right or wrong way to vent or express the post reactions to your supervisor. I think I would rather you tell it to me than you tell it to somebody else. I, as a professional staff member, am more than equipped to help you navigate through those kinds of conversations. And I would hope that in those moments, you can just be honest, I know that you are a person first.
I really have a hard pushback and I want RAs to push back on this of you’re a student first, you’re an RA second. I want us to reframe that of you are a person first and then you’re an RA and then you’re a student. It goes down the list. I think we have to start centering our humanity in those spaces of you can tell me that this was frustrating. There was harm that happened and that harm might have been as little as, yeah, I was studying for an exam and the power went out and now I have to go and navigate that or the mental health crisis we go back to or something maybe was really traumatic and triggering or PD was involved and I have a really traumatic experience with PD and now this is coming up and I’m feeling myself go into fight or flight. And naming that with your supervisor and being able to say, this was a lot for me.
I think if RAs started with that and saying, this was a lot for me as a person. Remove the RA role, remove me being a student, remove me being a young professional, but as a human, as Jordy, experiencing that trauma was really hard and it’s sitting in my body. I think that to me is so much more impactful of a way to communicate that that harm was done to you. Because we know RAs, there’s harm that happens in that job and that is why we have so many RAs and we train RAs so intentionally to acknowledge that you will experience harm. It is inevitable because you are living and working and going to school in the same place with the same people all of the time.
And I really want RAs to start those conversations of, yeah, this event happened, but this is where it’s still sitting. It’s frustrating, it’s defeating, I felt like I was being treated X, Y, Z, or I feel like the person on call that I was with, the professional staff member did something that was harmful or impacted me in some way. I think if we started reframing that, we could get so much more out of the position and I think it would feel so much more rewarding to be in this role versus the cynical, I just don’t get paid enough. Because let’s be honest, RAs right across the nation, you don’t get paid enough and I’m going to say it and it’s okay. But if we said yes, you don’t get paid enough and there’s still ways for you to have intentional, meaningful relationships with your RAs and your peers and your residents and your supervisors, I think we would stop worrying so much about I don’t get paid enough and it would be more of like a, wow, but I had a supervisor who really cared about me as a person, and I think that’s really where I see residence life going in the future too.
Anthony Martinez:
Wow.
I love that. They’re going to play this in the future and be like, yep, Jordy knew exactly where we were headed.
Jordy Plieseis:
Right. Trademark it, please.
Anthony Martinez:
I love that you added an and instead of a but. And. Yes, Jordy, yes. And you mentioned this early in the conversation that was just had, but I wanted to ask you a little bit more about it, is who are the appropriate people to go to when you need to talk something out? And so you mentioned it, you talked about it, but for RAs listening, when they’re encountering these … And I know you mentioned supervisor, but is there anybody else that these RAs can talk to when encountering these situations?
Jordy Plieseis:
Yeah. I think if you are fortunate enough to be at an institution that has a dedicated counselor, I think that is always going to be the best person because again, I as a supervisor have a little bit more training than an RA, but unless I have mental health or counselor training, I too am not trained in being able to support somebody in that type of level. I might be able to have my lived experiences and being able to tell you the anecdotes that other RAs have told me. But at the end of the day, if you want somebody to be able to walk you through that on a little bit more of a professional capacity, I really encourage folks to step into those spaces and reaching out to a counselor. I think also advocating if you don’t have a counselor to say, we are in a very high level stress position and how can we be supported? What benefits can we have as RAs? And I think that is one of them.
I think also talking to, and I don’t want to say your supervisor necessarily, but talking to a professional staff member that you have really felt connected to. If that is your immediate supervisor, fantastic. If that’s someone who … Maybe your first year RA and you just see a different supervisor who you’re really just vibing with them, the energy is right, also go and talk to them. I don’t think that every supervisor is going to have the person first type of mentality, but if that’s what you’re looking for and you want somebody who’s going to be able to say, “Yeah, this sucks, but let’s hold each other together through this moment,” find that person and say, “I know that you’re not my supervisor, but I would love to just talk about this and debrief with you.”
I don’t know of any resident life professional staff members who would not jump at the opportunity to support a student who is genuinely wanting to go through this together rather than just to have a problem be solved. I would always take a student, an RA who says, “I need help. You’re not my supervisor, but I need you to hold my hand while we go through this.” I will jump the bit every single time. So those are my two main points of contact that I think RA should really be tapping into.
Anthony Martinez:
No. That’s perfect. And so I want to keep us, because I know we’re coming up on time, but I still have so many questions I want to ask you. But with RAs, I want to ask … And you’re also moving RA into the reframing, but what are some tips you have for what will help RAs become not so cynical or disconnected, I should say, from their role if they’re encountered with these stressful situations?
Jordy Plieseis:
Yeah. I want to remind any young professionals, especially our RAs, that you have inherent wisdom. And so I work in restore philosophy. I don’t know if you can tell that I’ve been really working with how do we decolonize and reframe the structures and institutions of higher education? That is my work and I am really passionate about it as you can tell. But every single RA has inherent wisdom. Even outside of the RA role, you as a person have your lived experiences, you have your stories from your family and the people around you and your community, you have the community knowledge to know that you know what feels good here. And if something’s not feeling good in the body, it’s going to translate into the role. And so I think we really need to start allowing students to be people and to have the nuanced conversations and frustrating conversations and difficult, uncomfortable conversations of this work is really hard and it is okay for you to name that. If you name that, we can do this together, but I want us to almost dispel this idea of, but you’re an RA to change lives and change the world. Yes, but also you have chosen a job that requires you to change people’s lives in ways that you will never be able to follow up with. Good, bad, neutral, ugly, beautiful, whatever, you will change people’s lives.
And when you start with reframing that, oh, this program is just a task to knock off, and changing it to, I get the opportunity to change somebody’s life in a small amount today, I get to make silly putty with a first year student and get to know them and get them to meet their residents on their floor, that is a huge impact. And I think we don’t give enough credit to that small minutia of this role. And so I think when you’re starting to feel cynical and you’re like, I’m having a really tough day on call and I keep on getting phone calls and I have a exam to study for and my bulletin board is due and I really don’t care about it and I have this event that I really want to cancel, check in with yourself. Check in and say, where is that showing up in my body? Am I even going to be able to be present? Am I going to be present for my other residents, my other RAs, my supervisor? And if the answer is no, we have to be able to pivot and advocate for yourself of we need to reschedule or we need to move this or we need to change this or I need someone else to be tapped in for this.
It is okay to center yourself in this work. There are emergencies in housing, but you don’t always have to live in that emergency. And so I really want students to start reframing and centering their humanity so that we don’t always feel like everything is an emergency.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes. Thank you, Jordy. Thank you. I do want to ask you some closing questions before and so pick your brain. And so for the RAs listening, this will be great to tap into. So Jordy, if you could sit next to an RA during their worst duty night, which I know some people have, what would you tell them?
Jordy Plieseis:
Oh my gosh. It’s one of those things where I’m like, is it weird to hold your hand? I just want to hold your hand and say, it’s going to be okay. You are still going to see another day and it’s going to be tough. And there might be some follow-up paperwork that you have to do and other conversations that you have to sit in, and then maybe you did something that made your resident upset in that moment and you have to grapple with that and sit with that. But on the hardest days, I think it’s so appropriate and we as supervisors, it is our duty to say, we’re in this together. I cannot center your humanity without centering mine. And if we see that, it makes the job a little bit easier. So I just want to hold your hand and be just, we got this, we can do this. It is awful sometimes, and that is okay, and we can still move forward and do the best of our job to our abilities.
Anthony Martinez:
All right. We’re running close on time, so thank you so much, Jordy. I do want to ask, are there any final words that you have? And also, how can our students connect with you after to hear more of your great work and all the things that you’re doing?
Jordy Plieseis:
Yes. If you are like, what is this humanity? What is this woo-woo witchy? What are we talking about? Please reach out to me on LinkedIn. It’s just J-O-R-D-Y, and then my last name, P-L-I-E-S-E-I-S. Please reach out. I love talking about restorative justice and restorative philosophy in the context of resident life, so please do not hesitate to reach out. I love to talk about this stuff at length, as you can tell.
Anthony Martinez:
Perfect. All right. Well, thank you so much, Jordy, for being here today and sharing your perspective. And to everyone listening, though there are tough moments, it doesn’t mean that you’re doing your job wrong at any point in time. If anything, it means that you’re just doing a job that’s really important, that matters. But remember, not everything is an emergency, and so be sure to take care of yourself, be proactive in your communities, lean on your team, and remember to have humanity. And again, you are more prepared than you think. And so we will see you next time here on the Roompact Podcast, and we’re so thankful that you were listening in today. Thanks.
