In this episode of Roompact’s RA*EdChat, we go behind the scenes of residence life to explore how strong staff relationships shape the RA experience. “Behind the Scenes: Working With Your Team” dives into collaboration, communication, and peer support, highlighting how successful communities are built not just through resident connections but through trust and teamwork among staff members. We meet with Katelyn Neeley, a community director who shares knowledge and personal experience on the topic, as well as advice for RAs.
Guest: Katelyn Neeley (she/her/hers), Community Director, Housing & Residence Life, Mississippi State University
Host: Anthony Martinez
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Roompact’s ResEdChat podcast is a platform to showcase people doing great work and talk about hot topics in residence life and college student housing. If you have a topic idea for an episode, let us know!
Transcript:
Anthony Martinez:
Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Roompact podcast. Your go to space for all things residents life and for our RAs with a special RA 360 episode. If you’re an RA listening this summer, you’re probably thinking about your residents, your programs, but today we’re focusing on something just as important. Your team, your peers, because the truth is your experience as an RA is shaped just as much by your staff dynamic as it is by your floor and your residents. So today’s episode is called Behind the Scenes: Working With Your Team. And we’re diving into what that looks like. I am joined by a community director who has seen it all, staff dynamics, team growth, challenges, and everything in between. Katelyn Neeley. So Katelyn, if you can introduce yourself, your role and how long you’ve been working in housing, just to give us an idea of your experience.
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah, absolutely. Hey, y’all. My name’s Katelyn. I use she/her pronouns. I’m from Atlanta, Georgia originally and I’m currently a community director. I’ve been working in housing for about five years, so two years as a grad student and I’m coming up on three years as a professional this June. So about five years and I’m really excited to be here and chat with you, Anthony, and talk about some of our experiences together.
Anthony Martinez:
Perfect. Okay. And I have another question for you. So what’s a moment where you looked at your staff and thought, this is why I love this job?
Katelyn Neeley:
Oh, I love that question. I think it’s in those unexpected moments where you’re working on something but your door is open and four or five RAs just pop into your office and they stay a while and they’re talking about the conversations that they had with their residents or what they’ve been working on for their next program or their next bulletin board. And I just sit back at my desk and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, they’re all here. They’re all chatting with each other. They’re sharing things with me and sharing things with each other.” And so I think those little unexpected pockets of joy and just the middle of a workday I think have been my favorite parts of supervising resident advisors for sure.
Anthony Martinez:
Perfect. Katelyn, you’re already perfect at this topic. You’re already building community, so I’m glad that we can go ahead and get into our next question to talk about what makes a strong RA team. And so from your perspective, what makes a strong RA team?
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. I think it’s collaboration and being willing to collaborate and understanding when people need to pull back or can give more of their effort. I supervise a staff of 12 in my building and so that’s a decent size staff. Before I had 12, I had 14 at my previous institution and so I’ve worked with a couple of larger staffs. And so just knowing that they need to know when to pull back and they need to know when to put more of that effort forward and communicating with each other and figuring that out and building a cohesive team I really think is important in that way. I’ve got a couple of RAs right now that have really demanding majors and they’re in studio all the time for that or they’re in lab all the time for that or whatever the case may be. And so if there’s a lockout in the building and we’re not here or if somebody needs an on call phone held or if someone just needs assistance with a duty call, setting those expectations early with our staffs have been really important for me for the last three years.
Here at my current institution is you are cheering each other on inside of this role and outside of this role. And I think seeing them support each other as RAs but also as students has been really rewarding. And I think it’s built that cohesive and collaborative team that we all dream of. You can see them helping each other in our group chats and you can see how much they care about each other and want to check in on each other during staff meetings or building walkthroughs or whatever the case may be. And so I think understanding that collaboration is required, but not everyone can be 50-50 all the time I think is really important to build that strong and cohesive and understanding team.
Anthony Martinez:
Yeah. No. I love that. Collaboration is huge, cheering on each other as a team. Those are big for those RAs listening right now. And my next question, which you already touched on of what are the key qualities or specifically habits you see in teams that really thrive? So you’ve mentioned collaboration and sharing each other on, but are there any others that you would want to mention?
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. Absolutely. I think just having a genuine heart for the role and wanting to get to know your residents and being there in the residence hall for them. A couple of years ago, a bunch of my RAs started an open door policy and so they’d make their own mini office hours in a sense of they’d keep their bedroom door open for an hour or they’d sit in the study room for a couple of hours on their floor so any residents could just come and chat. And so I think when you can see how genuine they are and how much they want to help their residents and also help each other and be team players in that way, I think that’s a really great thing to see. And it’s really awesome to watch RA teams thrive in that way of they know each other’s residents and they’re doing these collaborative programs together and everything is just coming together and you can see them forming as a team from training in August until winter closing or spring semester when we do larger programming. And so I think being a team player and having a genuine heart for the role has been a really awesome thing to see in the teams that I’ve supervised the last three years to make sure that they’re staying connected and helping each other out and thriving in that way.
Anthony Martinez:
Yeah. No. That’s great. Being genuine in role is huge, especially for our resident assistants coming into these roles. And so I’m really happy you mentioned that because I think that really creates not only a community with their staff, but like you mentioned their community on their floor when they’re authentic, they’re who they are. And so with that, what’s something you think RAs may not realize contributes to a strong staff dynamic?
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. I love that question. I think again, just being there for each other. Not in just the see you at the staff meeting every week or whatever that means to them way. But showing up to their solo events that they’re doing. Or I mentioned earlier in our expectations with our RAs here for the last three years, I’ve always put an expectation on there of support each other in and out of this role. And so if someone can’t make an event because they have a concert, like they’re part of choir on campus or they’re part of another club on campus that they’re a president for and they’re having a huge event that night, show up for them.
We had a lot of RAs my first year that were in the Famous Maroon Band is what our collegiate band is called here at our institution. And so seeing them take pictures together at football games and send them in our group chat and just seeing that they’re connecting with each other outside of their role and outside of their residence hall because the role really does mean more than connecting in the residence hall. It’s connecting around campus and beyond. And so seeing those pictures and understanding how much they care about each other and wanting to support each other only makes that staff dynamic and community dynamic stronger when you come back home to your residence hall. I don’t think people realize that when they’re saying hey to each other on campus and connecting with residents and just pulling everybody on the quad or whatever that may mean for y’all, having those conversations just out of the blue. I think bringing that back into the residence hall is so fun and it’s so unexpected to be like, “Oh, I’ve seen you on campus a couple of times and you live in my residence hall.” And just that jumping off point for connection is really awesome.
Anthony Martinez:
No. I would agree. And I love that you keep talking about these expectations, like setting expectations as a staff to build in this, let’s support one another, let’s be there for one another, let’s collaborate with one another. And so I want to emphasize that so that our listeners is those expectations and being genuine and collaborating should all come together as a staff. And so if you haven’t done that yet, that’s something I would highly encourage, especially as Katelyn has mentioned. I’m going to switch us gears a little bit and we’re going to go into conflicts with staff because it’s unavoidable. It happens. And so every team runs into a conflict at some point. And so let’s talk about it a bit about what are some common sources of tension you see among RA staff members
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. For sure. I think over the last three years I’ve seen a little bit of conflict and I think it goes back to what I mentioned earlier about people pulling back a little bit and not giving as much effort as they think they can. And so you see those two or three or four RAs stepping up and taking the helm, which is great. I want them to develop as leaders and to take that leadership role on and to have that self-initiative, but it can also be really tiring and that’s where that burnout piece comes in. And the folks who are pulling back a little bit, maybe they don’t feel it, but they’re pulling back a little bit, are relying on those two or three or four RAs who are doing a lot and it just becomes those two or three or four. And so I think that can cause a little bit of tension from what I’ve seen in the past. And so nipping that in the bud and being more aware of it as a supervisor as well and checking in and one-on-ones with RAs. I meet with mine every other week. And so chatting about how they are as human beings and how they are as students and how they are as student leaders in that order because that’s what they are. And making sure that they’re doing well in all aspects.
And if the RA role is becoming a little bit more tiring or you can sense them pulling back or you can sense someone putting a lot more of themselves into the role to the point of burnout, it’s time to ask those why questions before it becomes a huge conflict in staff meeting that gets brought up regularly or in front of everybody. You want to keep that between you and the RAs that are involved. So understanding and discerning when that conflict is happening and making sure that you’re addressing it directly because confrontation is really scary. I’ve never been one for confrontation, but it’s definitely gotten easier over the last three years of having those conversations of you’re not in trouble. This is simply a conversation to see how you are and what plan can we make moving forward to where you feel like you can put more of yourself into this role or what can I take off your plate so that you’re not overwhelmed by this role? And I think evening out that playing field a little bit can reduce that tension of like, well, this person is taking on way too much and this person hasn’t done a lockout in the building in three months and what’s up with that?
And so I think having those conversations early and addressing it in a big staff meeting if need be of like, “Hey y’all, it’s midterms, we’re coming up on closing, you have a lot of competing responsibilities right now, but we want to be one of those primary responsibilities and if you can’t make that happen, let us know.” And so being transparent in that communication too has helped me reduce tension a little bit on staff and makes them feel like we are a comfortable and confidential resource for them to come to in instances like that for sure.
Anthony Martinez:
No. Agreed. Yes. For the RAs listening, please communicate with your supervisor when those conflicts come up and that’s going into my next question. So this is perfect, Katelyn, you already knew what we’re going into next. So how can these RAs recognize when something needs to be addressed versus when it’ll pass? So when they’re with their teammates, their staff members, how can they recognize this conflict has gone too far. I should probably go to my supervisor or this is something that I can handle on my own. So for those RAs listening, what’s some advice you would give there?
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. I would for sure say if it’s continuing to nag at you or if you’re continuing to think about it or discuss it or you can’t get it off your mind, I think that’s where a supervisor comes in at that point of like, “Hey, I tried to shake this, they missed a duty round or they missed a big incident that we had to cover for them in that instance.” And I don’t want it to feel like you’re snitching on your peers or you’re exposing them in that way because as supervisors, we want to know about that. So again, we can make that care plan of what can we take off your plate to make this job more fulfilling? Why is this job feeling like work? What can we do to help? And so I think when they start to discuss it and discuss it and discuss it becomes like, okay, we need to talk to our supervisor about this.
And if they’re feeling confident enough to be like, okay, I can talk to them one-on-one about this, I know they’re going to be chill about it and I can tell my supervisor after the fact, that’s also a good route to go. It’s again, using that discernment that we try to talk about during training of conflict resolution and we want these lessons that we’re teaching you in August to last you the entire year when it comes to conflict management and conflict resolution because you are going to have roommate conflicts and you’re going to have to have those mediation conversations with them and those same boundary conversations can apply to your staff.
And so again, I think if they’re continuously talking about it, then I think it’s time for a supervisor conversation of, “Hey, this happened. I’m not sure how to address it. Do you want to meet all three of us? Do you want to meet one-on-one? What does that look like?” And so I think having those conversations again early is really important to understand where that conflict is, what compromises can be made and all of those things for sure.
Anthony Martinez:
No. Perfect. And you even mentioning, oh, even if you do solve it, just letting your supervisor know, “Oh, we handled it, we squashed it.” But just looping them in so we know, “Oh, maybe these are things we need to address in the future with our staff or set them in our expectations as a staff. I didn’t know we needed to maybe talk about X, Y, and Z.” And so I think that is great advice as well. And so what do you think is the best way for an RA to approach conflict with a teammate? So they’re like, “Oh, I think I can address this with my teammate because it’s something that’s bothering me.”
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. I think it depends on both of their primary methods of communication and what they prefer. I know we use Teams at our institution and so we’re in a big Teams chat, so if they want to DM each other on Teams, come up with a time to have a meeting about it, they can absolutely do that. Or if they want to loop their supervisor in, that’s absolutely okay. Because like you mentioned earlier, if this has been going on all year and it’s April and it’s like we’ve had three or four conversations about this and it still hasn’t resolved itself, it’s like, okay, so nobody looped me in on this and we could have had a two-on-one mediation in a sense of me being that boundary setting conversator in a sense of we can come to a compromise about what’s going on and how long it’s been happening, all those things.
And so I think based on their communication methods, setting up that meeting with each other. If it doesn’t go as well as one or both of them thought it was going to, again, loop your supervisor in. We are not scary people. I never want an RA that I supervise to feel nervous or uncomfortable coming to me. I set that expectation from our first one-on-one or from our first all staff meeting of, “I am a resource for you. I am in my office ready to assist you. I know we have other admin things going on, but at the end of the day, you and our residents are our priority. We want to make sure that your safety and your security are our top priority.” And so again, letting them have that conversation and if they don’t feel comfortable with how it ended or if they feel like there’s a couple of loose ends, looping us in for sure and making sure that we’re aware of it so that if it happens again, we’re there to assist in that moment.
Anthony Martinez:
Right. No. Perfect. No. That was great. My next question for you to wrap up this conflict section is what do you think is a mistake often RAs make when it comes to dealing with conflict with another staff members? What are mistakes that they maybe run into when trying to address it or bring it up or when it happens?
Katelyn Neeley:
I think if it’s been bothering them for a while and they haven’t said anything about it, we can get to that point of the cup is overflowing and I’m feeling a lot of emotions. And so I think managing those emotions from the jump of, I’m feeling this way, I need to have this conversation now. And if not now, thinking about what emotions you’re feeling. I’m a big external processor and so I’ll talk through it with somebody that I trust, whether it’s my supervisor or somebody else and think over what I’m feeling and then write down what I want to say or think about what I want to say if I am having a conflict centered conversation. And so I think getting a little bit too heated and then letting it all spill over, especially in front of everybody or in front of residents or at a big staff meeting, it can get really scary, really fast. So again, we’ve harped on it for the last little bit, but let somebody know what’s going on or think about those emotions before you have that conversation so that it doesn’t turn into, I feel like I’m going to explode.
And so thinking about it first before having that conversation. And then again, if you don’t feel like it’s resolved, don’t be afraid to follow back up with them or follow up with your supervisor of, “Hey, this conversation was had. I know that we’re okay, but I feel like some things were left out.” And so again, having that follow-up conversation of, “I am not mad at you, we are on the same team, we serve the same purpose, we’re here for the same goal.” And so making sure that that conversation is fully had and everyone feels comfortable when they leave it I think can help them avoid those initial mistakes of waiting too long to talk about it or not looping in the right people or getting a little bit heated and saying something that could be potentially hurtful. And so just thinking it through and having a calm conversation and starting it off with boundaries as well of, we’re not going to interrupt each other and we’re only going to talk about these things that are bothering us and if we want to bring up a new conversation, let’s talk about it and let’s agree on it before we dive into it. And so I think those are some good tactics to help avoid those initial mistakes.
Anthony Martinez:
No. That’s great. I love this so much because when I was an RA, I was definitely always pushing conflict. And so everything you’re saying, I’m like, “I wish someone was telling me this.” So this is perfect.
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. Same. Like I said, I was not confrontational at all when I first became an RA and I was like, “I wonder why I’m feeling these things.” And it’s like, you need to have a conversation with somebody about what you’re feeling. Someone needs to know.
Anthony Martinez:
No. Agree. This is perfect. And so switching us gears from that conflict, I want to talk about for staff members wanting to stand out in a good way but not trample over other staff members and to still have that rapport with their peers. And so what are some small things that leave a big impression that RAs can do on a big staff while again, incorporating their team members and their staff members?
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. I love that question. In our community, I supervise 12 RAs and the graduate residents director that I supervise supervises a building of six RAs. And so when we come together for large staff, there’s 18 of us. I for the last three years have implemented many committees or work groups within our team. So whether it’s a team regarding administration and recognition, so making sure our front desks are tidy, our of the month awards are getting submitted every month, or whether it’s our programming committee. So they’re taking the lead on those community-wide events and we’re looped in on that as well or whatever the case may be, getting on one of those committees that either plays to their strengths or is regarding something that they want to improve on.
I’ve had a couple of RAs in the past who don’t think that they’re super administratively strong and they want to push that envelope a little bit and be on our admin and rec committee and be on that monthly schedule of writing OTMs and checking the desk periodically and creating a schedule. That works for them to let me know when we’re out of different forms that we need at the front desk or whatever the case may be or managing our community calendar. We use an Outlook calendar for all of our events that we do within the community. So whether it’s uploading RA events to that or community-wide events to that, letting them hone in on those skills that they didn’t think that they had I think is a good way to climb the ladder in a sense of I’m learning more about myself in this RA role and what I’m good at and what I want to continue to develop. And so I think that’s a really good way to do that.
We again use Teams at my current institution and so getting in our Teams chat pretty frequently of like, “Hey y’all, I’m thinking about posting this on the Instagram or hosting this event. Who wants to join? Is anyone okay with me posting this?” And just asking for that feedback from your team makes you a more trusted member of that team. And so it’s been really awesome to see RAs over the past couple years get on these committees and really thrive and take the lead on programming and hone in on skills that they didn’t think that they could.
Anthony Martinez:
No. That’s great. That’s perfect. And then so Katelyn, we are nearing our end of time. And so I did want to ask, what’s one piece of advice you’d give to a brand new RA about being a great teammate/staff member?
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. Soak up every minute of it. Every RA training session that you go to, every late night lockout, every incident, every program, just be a sponge and learn from that. I think some of my favorite parts of the academic year are times that all of the RAs are together in one room. And so training and move-in where I get to see a bunch of folks or closing are really some of my favorite times. And so getting to know folks in other communities and really taking that time during training or during your weekly staff meetings or whatever that looks like to learn from returning RAs on your staff and to ask your supervisor the question that you really need answered. Or go back to that training session that you think, “Oh, I don’t know if I handled this incident all the way correctly,” which there’s no wrong way to handle an incident. But if you think that you didn’t handle it thoroughly or you want to follow up about something, then go back to that training session.
And so really just soak it all in and you have resources for you to use. Don’t be afraid to chat with, again, folks that are returning on your team or your supervisor or whatever that looks like and just have fun. Being an RA and working in Res Life and higher education has been truly one of my favorite experiences ever and has shaped me into the leader that I want to be and that I currently am. And so it’s a really awesome experience. So just take it all in and learn from it and continue to build off of those resources and experiences.
Anthony Martinez:
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Katelyn. This whole conversation has been really helpful, I think especially for RAs needing to show up for their teams and learn from their teammates. I did want to ask you if you had any final words or something you want to let our listeners know and then how can they maybe connect with you after this podcast ends?
Katelyn Neeley:
Yeah. Absolutely. The RA job, again, is really fun. And so if it starts to not be fun, talk to your supervisor. Like I said, we’re not scary. And then if you want to connect, I’m Katelyn Neeley on LinkedIn and I’m happy to connect and chat and talk about all things higher ed or Housing and Residence Life or I’ve been watching … What have I been watching recently? Steven Universe. I’ve been watching that recently.
Anthony Martinez:
Yes. Love.
Katelyn Neeley:
So if you want to talk about that, I’m on season two and so it’s been really fun to watch that after work. And so if you want to connect and talk about that, I’m happy to.
Anthony Martinez:
Perfect. Thank you, Katelyn. And thank you so much for being here and sharing your perspective. This has been really fun and I wish I had this when I was an RA and so I really appreciate it. And to everyone listening, being an RA just isn’t about managing a floor as I had mentioned. It’s about being part of a team and supporting one another, collaborating, addressing conflict when you can, and then most importantly, soaking it all up as we’ve mentioned. And so the more you invest in that, the better your experience will be as an RA. And so again, thank you and we’ll see you next time here on the Roompact podcast.
