Do you actually know how to have a 1-on-1 meeting? For most of us in residence life, one-on-one meetings with supervisees are built into the job. But when’s the last time you thought about how you’re doing them? Too often, we slap them on the calendar and call it “supervision,” when in reality, they’re structured time to challenge, support, and develop your staff. Here are a few ways to fix the red flags lurking in your one-on-ones.
Schedule intentionally.
Saying you’ll do biweekly one-on-ones and dumping them in Outlook is more of a wish than a plan. And then life happens, and suddenly you haven’t met with half your staff in a month. Here are a few ways to do it better:
- Plan the semester. Map out breaks, vacations, and chaotic weeks (like RA interviews). Build your rotation around what’s left and share the schedule with your staff. Yes, it’s extra work — but future you will thank you.
- Be strategic with your energy. Don’t stack three of your more challenging supervisees in a row, and if you’re not a morning person, stop scheduling 8 a.m. one-on-ones you’ll dread.
- Go shorter and steadier. Weekly 20-minute meetings can sometimes beat biweekly 45s. Students love routine, and this way, a missed week doesn’t derail the flow.
- Try 2-on-1s. Rotate individuals and pairs if your RAs work closely together. It builds collaboration and saves everyone time, which is a win for everyone.
Stop winging it.
If you show up without a plan, you’re wasting both your time and theirs. Preparation signals that you value their time, and expect them to value yours.
At the start of each semester, I shared a “One-on-One Cheat Sheet” so RAs knew what to expect. For most, it was their first professional-style check-in. Setting structure helped calm nerves and build consistency. I even know some supervisors who ask RAs to bring their own agendas, which gives them ownership while encouraging preparation.
Here’s the simple framework I used that you can steal:
- Personal check-in: academics, friends, self-care
- Resident engagement: connections, residents of concern
- Community building: floor and team dynamics, programs
- Crisis response: duty trends, incidents, policies
- Development: goals, growth, big-picture ideas
Stop doing all the talking (and about the wrong things).
If you leave your one-on-one realizing you talked the whole time, that’s a problem. Your RA should be doing most of the talking: reflecting, sharing, and thinking critically about their role.
That said, remember you’re not their counselor. RAs have hard jobs and personal lives, and it’s great if you can be a trusted ear. So, empathize, listen, and support them within the scope of your role, but know when to refer to campus resources. A good supervisor models boundaries and emotional regulation.
On the flip side, don’t swing too far into checklist mode. If you’re just rattling off programs done, duty logs submitted, and bulletin boards posted, you’re simply missing the point. These meetings should go beyond ensuring compliance; they should develop skills, confidence, and critical thinking with open-ended questions.
Take notes.
If you’re not documenting your one-on-ones, it’s time to start. This isn’t just about HR safety (though that’s a big reason). Taking notes helps you spot patterns, track growth, and write more accurate evaluations later. You don’t need to transcribe the conversation; it can be as simple as taking two minutes afterward to jot down key takeaways or action items. Use whatever works for you: a notebook, a OneNote tab, a Google Doc, or a spreadsheet. Future You will thank you when evaluation season hits.
Mix it up.
Monotony kills engagement. One-on-ones don’t have to look the same every week, and getting out of your routine can often help build your relationships with staff stronger. Try shaking things up:
- Task-based time: Do they have bulletin boards or administrative logs to complete? Do them together.
- Walk-and-talks: Take the conversation outside or do a floor walkthrough together.
- Themed one-on-ones: Ask them to choose a meeting spot somewhere meaningful on campus. Play games (cards, Wavelength, and bananagrams are some of my favorites for meetings) or make something together (clay, legos, a paint-by-number). Or invite them to teach you something; I’ve learned chess, stage combat, and some semblance of aerospace engineering this way.
1-on-1 meetings are one of the most powerful tools we have as supervisors to pour into our teams, but only if we use them intentionally.
