By Kate Pilcher
Returning to the RA role often comes with a quiet, unspoken pressure: you should know this by now. You’ve already navigated your way around campus, duty, rounds, roommate conflicts, crisis protocols, and the sometimes emotionally taxing labor that comes with supporting residents. Due to exposure and experience, returning RAs are frequently seen as confident leaders who can handle any problem that comes their way. While experience is a strength, it can also create the false belief that asking for help means that you are failing at the role.
Experience Does Not Eliminate Uncertainty
Every year brings new residents, dynamics, and challenges. A conflict that feels familiar from the first look might be rooted in deeper concerns, or a resident interaction that initially seems manageable may begin to weigh heavily on your emotional wellbeing. As a returning RA, you decide to stay quiet because you feel that you should be able to handle it on your own. In reality, reaching out to your supervisor, peers, or campus resources early on can help to prevent burnout, reduce stress, and lead to a better outcome for everyone involved.
Knowing When to Reach Out
Knowing when to ask for help is just as important as knowing how to ask. If a situation feels heavier than expected, begins to impact your sleep, academic focus, mental health, or just leaves you second guessing your response long after the interaction has ended, then it may be time to reach out. Similarly, if a resident concern continues to escalate, involves repeated behavior, or feels as if it is outside of your role’s control, involving a supervisor or professional staff member is appropriate and responsible on your part.
Asking for Help Builds Stronger Skills
It’s important to remember that asking for help does not mean giving up your role in a situation. Often, it looks like consulting a supervisor, processing an interaction during a one-on-one, or asking a fellow RA how they might approach a similar situation. These conversations can help to strengthen your skills and confidence over time. They allow you to grow as a person and in your role rather than silently carry the weight of situations that were never meant to be handled alone.
You Do Not Have to Prove Yourself Again
As a returning RA, you should give yourself the permission to let go of the need to “prove” yourself. You were rehired into this position because you demonstrated care, competence, and commitment. Taking care of yourself is a part of your role just as much is the responsibility to take care of your residents. When you reach out for help, you protect yourself, your energy, wellbeing, and ability to show up for your community.
One of the most important reminders for you returning RAs is this: it is okay to ask for help, and knowing when to reach out is a critical leadership skill.
