Being an RA or student staff member puts you in a unique position to shape the culture and community your residents experience every day. One of the most meaningful parts of your role is making sure everyone feels like they belong, including students who identify as LGBTQIA+. While you might not always know exactly what to say or do, your willingness to learn, support, and create inclusive spaces can make a huge difference. This post is here to give you practical ways to support LGBTIA+ residents and build a hall community where everyone feels safe, seen, and celebrated.
Understand What “Safe Space” Really Means
You’ve probably heard the term “safe space” before, but it’s more than just a buzzword or a rainbow sticker on a door. A safe space is a place where someone can feel secure being their authentic self. A space where they don’t have to explain their identity, correct assumptions, or defend their existence. Creating that kind of space starts with you. Your language, your actions, and even your silence can send a message. Ask yourself: Are you the kind of person someone could come out to? Do you call out homophobic or transphobic language when you hear it, even in “jokes”? Do you make space for all gender identities and expressions in your programming, bulletin boards, and floor culture? You don’t need to do everything perfectly. Just make sure your residents know that they can come to you and be treated with respect.
Use Inclusive Language and Be Open to Correction
Language matters. It’s about making space in your words for the full spectrum of gender and sexual identities. When you’re introducing yourself to your residents, include your pronouns. (“Hi, I’m Jordan, I use they/them pronouns.”) This sets the tone and invites others to share theirs—if they’re comfortable. Avoid assuming people’s genders or who they might be dating. Instead of asking, “Do you have a boyfriend?” ask, “Are you seeing anyone?” or “Do you have a partner?” If you mess up, apologize, correct yourself, and move on. Don’t make it a big deal or center your own feelings. The key is to show that you’re trying and willing to keep learning.
Know the Unique Challenges LGBTIA+ Students May Face
LGBTIA+ students may carry experiences and challenges that aren’t visible on the surface. Some may not be out to their families and are navigating the stress of dual identities. Others might be facing mental health challenges like anxiety or depression, often compounded by experiences of discrimination or isolation. Trans and nonbinary students may deal with discomfort or even safety issues when it comes to housing assignments, bathroom access, or being misgendered. Your role isn’t to fix these problems single-handedly, but to notice them, advocate when you can, and be a compassionate resource. This means getting familiar with your campus’s policies and support systems. Know who to refer students to when they’re facing housing concerns, discrimination, or need support. That might be your hall director, the campus LGBTQ+ center, counseling services, or others.
Affirm, Don’t Assume
It’s easy to make assumptions based on appearances or behavior, but those assumptions can lead to harm. One of the best things you can do is affirm someone’s identity, even (and especially) if it’s different from what you expected. If a resident shares their pronouns with you, use them. If they change their name, make the switch. And if you’re not sure, ask respectfully: “What name and pronouns would you like me to use?”
Design Events and Spaces That Feel Inclusive to Everyone
Not every program needs to be a Pride event to be inclusive. But every program should be planned with inclusion in mind. Think about the words and images you use in your advertising. Are your programs built around norms that assume heterosexuality or gender binaries (like “battle of the sexes” games)? Are there events specifically for underrepresented groups, like queer students of color? Try partnering with campus identity groups or student organizations on collaborative events. Maybe it’s a movie night featuring queer filmmakers, a community art project, or a low-key discussion space for LGBTQ+ residents and allies. Inclusion doesn’t happen by accident. It’s something you build in, intentionally.
Be a Consistent, Trustworthy Presence
LGBTQIA+ residents are watching not just what you say, but how you live out your values. If you call yourself an ally, back it up. That means speaking up when someone makes a hurtful comment, even if it’s awkward. It means checking in with a resident who seems withdrawn. It means listening more than you talk. Most of all, it means showing up, consistently. Residents will remember if you stood by them when it mattered. You don’t need to know everything. You just need to be there, and be real.
Take Care of Yourself, Too
Being a student leader who cares deeply can be emotionally demanding, especially when you’re supporting residents through personal struggles, identity development, or discrimination. Don’t forget to take care of your own mental and emotional health, too. Lean on your supervisor. Talk with other student staff. Make time for rest and reflection. And if you identify as part of the LGBTQIA+ community yourself, know that it’s okay to set boundaries and seek support when you need it.
What If You’re Struggling Personally or Morally?
Sometimes, people come into RA-like roles with beliefs or backgrounds that make it hard to fully understand or support LGBTQIA+ students. Maybe it’s based on how you were raised, your faith, or personal values. If that’s you, know this. It’s okay to feel tension. What’s not okay is letting those feelings get in the way of treating every resident with dignity and respect.
Your role as an student staff member is to create a safe, welcoming community for everyone regardless of whether you personally understand or agree with their identity. That’s part of what you signed up for in taking this leadership position. You don’t have to change your beliefs, but you do need to behave professionally and uphold the standards of inclusion and equity set by your institution.
Here are some steps you can take if you’re struggling:
- Check in with yourself honestly. What exactly is making you uncomfortable? Is it fear of saying the wrong thing? A lack of understanding? Something deeper? Naming what you’re feeling is the first step to handling it responsibly.
- Seek guidance privately. Talk to your supervisor, a professional staff member, or a campus resource you trust. You don’t need to figure this out alone, and having a space to process can help you move forward in a respectful and professional way.
- Educate yourself. If something doesn’t make sense to you, look it up. Ask questions in training. Attend events, even quietly. Learning doesn’t mean you’re changing your values. It means you’re choosing to be a better leader and human in a diverse world.
- Practice basic respect. You don’t need to be best friends with every resident. But you do need to call people by their name and pronouns, avoid discriminatory language or behavior, and respond if someone is being mistreated.
- Remember your “why.” You became an RA to help people. Supporting residents, even when it challenges you, is part of that mission. Your growth through this process might surprise you and help you connect more meaningfully with all kinds of people in the future.
Adapted from: ResEdChat Ep 108: Safe Spaces, Strong Communities: Supporting LGBTIA Students in Housing
