You’ve got the inside jokes, flexible deadlines, and quick-wit in the group chat. You’re relatable, approachable, and your RAs like you… but are you actually supervising?
Supervising students is more than just being fun or chill. It’s about co-creating relationships that foster guidance, support, and accountability. By avoiding true supervision in the name of being “chill,” you’re not just letting things slide, but you’re also letting your student staff down. Not convinced? Here are some common phrases a “chill” supervisor might say, and why they might not be helpful in the long-run.
“We can have fun, as long as you don’t make me do my job.”
When you frame supervision work as not-fun, students may start associating challenges, coaching, and reflection as shameful instead of things that can help them grow. Supervision isn’t an emergency-only service, and waiting for a “problem” before exercising your supervisory muscles dismisses the opportunity for continuous development. A hard truth is that supervision means showing up for the good, the mundane, and the challenging. Supervision isn’t passive, and being proactive in connecting with staff is part of this.
“I’m a chill supervisor. I don’t want to micromanage.”
When you abstain from providing clear expectations and regular feedback, you’re not giving staff freedom; you’re giving them, at best, guesswork. At worst, you are doing harm, like delaying real job-related critique that will be much harsher when it comes post-college. Students deserve to learn from their mistakes and to rise to challenges, and your investment in this process is key.
“I’ll let them decide what their relationship is with me.”
You might think you’re giving autonomy, but here’s the problem: you’re still in a position of power. Putting the responsibility on student staff to define boundaries, establish expectations, and navigate a relationship with an authority figure can be incredibly confusing. One RA might think “we’re close and casual,” while another might be hearing “don’t approach me unless necessary.” Add in the dynamics of systems of oppression, and you risk reinforcing inequity, as people with marginalized identities are often (rightfully) taught to mistrust authority, and people with majority identities are often taught how to align themselves with powerful people. Your role as a supervisor is teaching RAs to form a positive relationship within a power dynamic.
“I want to be (nothing) like the supervisor that I had.”
Many of us were inspired (or traumatized) into this work by our own supervisors. However, I want to caution you that the desire to replicate (or avoid) a past supervisory experience can unintentionally center your own nostalgia or desire to do-over, rather than your staff’s needs. After all, your staff are not responsible for finishing the emotional arc of your undergraduate story. They’re here to learn and grow under your leadership.
If these red flags are resonating, don’t panic. Hold on to a spirit of unlearning, intention, and consistency, and then, start here:
- Establish a clear, values-based approach to supervision. Pull out the personality tests, do some soul searching, and talk to your colleagues. What really matters to you? What can you offer to RAs as their leader? How will you show your staff who you are and what you’re about?
- Notice patterns, hold staff accountable, and stay the course. Retiring this “chill” approach does not happen just by proclaiming it. Start by taking good notes in one on ones, noticing behaviors, and finding creative ways to recognize good work. When there are repeated missed deadlines, blatant disregard for work rules, and consistent underperformance, you must bury your fear of being the bad guy and use formal accountability as a tool. Remember, there are no one-size-fits-all answers to supervision challenges. For example, when presented with an RA who misses a deadline, a supervisor that values communication might message them immediately, a supervisor that values work-life balance might look to move up their next one on one, and a supervisor that values reminders might set auto-emails for future due dates. Trust your values and let them guide your actions.
- Heal your wounds. What relationships are you trying to recreate or completely avoid? When do you find yourself going back on your word or watering down a hard conversation in the name of being liked? And notably, when did you feel yourself getting defensive when reading this blog post? Your discomfort might be telling you exactly what changes you need to make. These are great topics for journaling, therapy, and conversations with trusted friends. Again, most of us have learned how to be a supervisor only from what has been role-modeled to us, but when we know better, we can do better.
If it wasn’t already clear, being a hands-on supervisor does not mean you have to micromanage and control. You can be flexible AND firm, and you can help without hovering. At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with bringing a chill vibe to work, as long as you know when to turn up the heat.
