Though you probably won’t be attending Dear Old Shiz University anytime in the near future, being a Resident Advisor (RA) at your respective university comes with its own set of challenges. One challenge that every RA will eventually face is the inevitable roommate conflict.
What would you do as an RA if you found your residents acting wicked toward one another? Maybe they’re experiencing some unadulterated loathing—an intense dislike that can be hard to navigate. Roommates may be disagreeing over noise levels, cleanliness, or different expectations for their shared space. However, sometimes these issues run deeper than that, leading to resentment that, if left unaddressed, can cause significant tension in your community.
As you’re dancing through life as a Resident Assistant (RA), you’re likely going to be tasked with resolving conflicts between roommates. Fortunately, the musical Wicked offers valuable lessons on how to support individuals who are navigating these challenges. With its rich exploration of relationships, personal growth, and the complexity of human interactions, Wicked can provide you with tools and insights to help roommates work through their conflicts.
“The Wizard and I” – Support Each Roommate’s Individual Aspirations
In The Wizard and I, Elphaba dreams of recognition and greatness. As a Resident Assistant, it’s crucial to recognize the individual aspirations of each roommate. Conflicts often arise when one roommate feels that their personal ambitions or interests are not respected or understood. Encourage roommates to support each other’s goals, whether it’s academic, social, or personal. When both individuals feel that their dreams are valid and supported, tensions can dissipate. An RA can mediate by helping roommates understand how they can be allies in each other’s pursuit of success, rather than competing or undermining each other.
“What Is This Feeling?” – Address Frustrations Early
Most Residence Life Departments have a “Roommate Agreement” that roommates are encouraged to complete when they begin living together. I can’t help but think that all of their unadulterated loathing and complaints to their parents could have been avoided should they just have completed their roommate agreement together. The song What Is This Feeling? captures the instant, intense frustration that Galinda and Elphaba feel when they first meet. This song serves as a reminder that sometimes conflict can arise from immediate irritation, but that doesn’t mean it has to escalate. Early intervention is key. When a roommate conflict emerges, encourage both parties to express their feelings calmly and without blame. Help them recognize the sources of their frustrations and find ways to communicate them constructively. Just like Galinda and Elphaba, roommates can get past their initial frustration if they’re given the opportunity to talk openly and are willing to participate.
Remember: It’s important to avoid taking sides. We saw many students side with Galinda as their conflict continued to build and tell her things like “you are just too good”. When you work with students in the halls, be sure to check in on your own biases prior to moving forward with a mediation.
“Popular” – Foster Respect for Each Other’s Social Circles and Differences
In Popular, Galinda sings about her strategies for becoming likable and fitting in. While Galinda’s approach is superficial, the song offers a key lesson about respecting one another’s social circles and personalities. Roommates often have different social lives, habits, and values, which can create tension. As an RA, helping roommates understand that these differences don’t need to be a source of conflict is crucial. By creating an environment where differences are celebrated rather than criticized, you can help roommates learn how to coexist peacefully, despite their diverse personalities and backgrounds. After all, green and pink do go together.
“Defying Gravity” – Support Each Roommate’s Need for Independence
Elphaba’s anthem, Defying Gravity, is all about breaking free from limitations and embracing personal independence. For roommates in conflict, this song is a powerful reminder that it’s important to support each other’s need for autonomy. Conflict can arise when one roommate feels controlled or unable to express their true self. You can guide both roommates in acknowledging each other’s need for personal space and individuality. By fostering an environment where each roommate feels empowered to pursue their passions and be their authentic selves, you can help minimize feelings of resentment or restriction.
“I’m Not That Girl” – Promote Honest Communication
In Wicked, Elphaba sings I’m Not That Girl, reflecting on her unrequited feelings for Fiyero. This moment of self-awareness highlights the importance of communication in any relationship, especially among roommates. Conflicts often arise when one person’s expectations don’t align with reality. As an RA, encouraging open and honest conversations is key. Help the roommates recognize when they’re not meeting each other’s needs or when assumptions are being made. Through clear, respectful communication, many misunderstandings can be cleared up before they develop into larger issues.
“For Good” – Teach the Power of Forgiveness and Moving Forward
As Elphaba and Galinda reconcile, they sing For Good, a song that celebrates the healing power of forgiveness. For roommates in conflict, this song offers a lesson on how conflicts can be resolved by acknowledging mistakes, apologizing, and moving forward. As an RA, you can help roommates understand that forgiveness is a necessary part of any relationship. Encourage both parties to recognize that they may have hurt each other, but by forgiving and letting go of past grievances, they can create a healthier living situation. For Good is a reminder that through resolution, both individuals can grow and strengthen their bond, even after a difficult conflict.
“No Good Deed” – Acknowledge the Limits of Sacrifice
Elphaba’s song No Good Deed reflects her frustration when her well-intentioned actions lead to unintended consequences. This serves as a valuable lesson for RAs when mediating conflicts. Sometimes, in the attempt to help, one might sacrifice their own boundaries or overextend themselves. As an RA, it’s essential to guide roommates in recognizing their limits. You can support roommates in understanding that helping one another doesn’t mean sacrificing personal well-being. Encourage them to set healthy boundaries, so that each roommate can continue to offer support without feeling overwhelmed or taken advantage of.
When Something Bad Happens:
There are unfortunate times when incidents occur that are too challenging for a Resident Assistant to manage on their own. Whether it’s a severe emotional breakdown, an ongoing safety concern, or other major issues, there will be moments when it’s time to bring in additional support. In these cases, reach out to your Hall Director for guidance and submit an Incident report as needed. As an RA, you don’t have to face wicked situations alone—there are resources on campus to assist you in managing more difficult scenarios.
Roommate conflicts are a common challenge in the college experience, but as a Resident Assistant, you have the power to help resolve tensions and foster an environment of respect and growth. Drawing from the themes of Wicked, you as an RA can learn the importance of empathy, open communication, and mutual respect. Whether it’s guiding roommates through the frustrations, supporting their individuality, or encouraging forgiveness for good, the lessons from Wicked provide a framework for helping roommates navigate conflicts and emerge stronger. By applying these insights, you can turn challenging situations into opportunities for growth and mutual understanding–for good.
