~ Blog Posts Written By RAs for RAs ~
Quick, think of the worst policy-related incident you can respond to. Chances are, some event like a massive dorm party or maybe a vandalism event came to mind. These, however, have nothing on the more emotional side of the job. Such as, when is it proper to involve yourself in a resident’s life—to make a deciding impact in someone’s life, especially if it comes unwelcomed.
Obviously, any good RA should want to build a decent relationship and be friendly with a resident, but sometimes being too friendly does the same amount of damage as being too distant. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with mental health concerns. Mental health awareness is on the rise, and likewise, it’s also important to remember to not take too much of a burden on yourself.
1. Recognizing Early Warning Signs
Many issues regarding mental health and other associated issues show themselves early. Maybe they don’t appear to be as serious, such as a resident acting awkward in social situations or withdrawing themselves. However, before any mental health emergency there are typically notable signs to pay attention to.
Depending on your number of residents, it can be difficult to pay attention to the actions of an individual. However, some common signs such as skipping class, a decline in personal hygiene, or maybe emotional outbursts with their roommate(s) count as flags to pay attention to. For example, if you notice a rise in roommate disagreements with a particular resident, try to pay attention to potential contributing factors instead of just jumping to conclusions and enforcing policy. Keep notes and speak to your supervisor when necessary, as these actions might come back to help you later.
2. Building Approachability
Residents are much more likely to open up to you if they feel as if they can trust you. At the start of the year, you will most likely appear to be more of a superficial resource, and it is up to you to change that. Proactively engage with your residents—reach out before a crisis to open lines of communication. This can come in forms such as regularly checking in, especially outside of any structured, mandatory chats with your residents. In these meetings you can work to normalize speaking about mental health, so that should your residents find themselves struggling they remember you are open to speak.
Another tool is to check in with your residents and ask about their roommate(s). Maybe you can’t identify a resident in crisis, but their roommates will. Ask how their roommate is doing, and if they have any concerns. Remind them they can speak anonymously and that you’re here to help.
3. Know Your Limits
An RA. Is not. A therapist. Sure, you’re here to help. And if you are comfortable speaking with your residents about their issues and think it beneficial, do so! However, their problems are not yours to bear. An important skill as an RA is to set boundaries, such as if the conversation turns too concerning, provide the resident with campus resources, and ask them to speak with a professional.
Sure, you might be able to help a resident through a short-lived issue, such as a roommate conflict or a stressful exam. However, many issues a resident could have are long-standing, such as mental health concerns. If this is the case, you won’t be able to help them resolve their issues, and they need to speak with someone who can. Help them to see this, rather than trying to fix everything yourself.
An important tip is to make sure you have a variety of campus resources on hand for whenever you need them. Personally, I like to devote a portion of my hallway to keeping a wall of QR codes for a variety of resources. These can (and should!) include academic resources, medical resources, campus mental health resources (if applicable), etc.
You could also work to practice dialogue. Try keeping lines in your back pocket like tools for stressful situations, such as “It seems like you’ve been having a tough time lately. Have you thought about talking to someone at the counseling center? They’re great with this kind of thing, and they can help you navigate what you’re going through.”
Ultimately, being an RA is a lot more complex of a job than it is typically thought of. Sure, busting a party and doing rounds are a large part, but the more menial details like building connections are just as important to be an expert in. Start by learning warning signs for resident’s mental health and foster a trustful relationship. Know your limits and when to refer out for more help, and learn where your job stops and a professional’s begins.
