By the time this blog posts it will either have been a month or roughly a month and a half since our first (and hopefully) last student death on campus this academic year at Wake Forest University. With a student population (undergrad, graduate and the professional schools) of under 10,000 students we do not experience death all that often, which I am extremely grateful for. Please also note, we are a mostly residential campus with a six semester live on requirement, therefore a good bit of our students live on all four years. I mention this as context because when a student passes away, whether due to illness, accident, or other circumstances, it deeply impacts not only their friends and family but our entire tight knit campus community.
I chose this as a topic this month, one because this tragedy is very much on the forefront of our minds as we wrap up this academic year but also because we don’t often think about student death until we are forced to deal with it. Depending on the systems and structures you have, it may be too late or become overwhelming very quickly. This blog will serve two purposes, 1. To walk you through some general steps of response and care as a Residence Life professional especially when a residential student passes away and 2. Remind/task you with reading or re-reading your response protocol to student death. Or asking those involved with creating it, when was the last time we reviewed this to make sure all the parts and pieces are in working order.
Our Lived Reality…
The reality of the work we do is, things happen all the time. Mostly, we deal with poor choices regarding alcohol and other substance usage from our students. Or the occasional hospital transport for a broken bone or dislocated this or that but when the unthinkable happens, it seemingly catches us off guard. The culture of care and the perception of safety and security that we all work so hard to create almost feels like an impenetrable “force field” keeping all the really bad things out. However, year after year there are stories of tragic occurrences on college campuses all over the world.
When Tragedy Hits Home..
The news of a student’s passing can be shared in many ways. Depending on your role within your Residence Life and Housing unit and perhaps some of the other hats you may wear on campus. For example, you might be in a supervisory/leadership role and you may hear of the passing through your system of crisis protocol alert before it’s shared with others on campus. Or perhaps your position is closer to or considered more of a front line staff member and maybe you find yourself checking in with residents and you happen up or see firsthand the aftermath of an accident or perhaps a different choice that a student has made in the room. In either case your immediate response (in most cases) is to make sure the necessary campus officials are notified. Take a moment and locate your student death protocol. What is the necessary first step that you, in your role, need to take in this scenario? If you are not the designated point person for your office, then who is? If you are that person, are you clear on what your next steps are? If the answer is no, please start asking the right questions to the right staff on your campus.
Communication in any form of crisis or student incident, including a student death is of the utmost importance. Sharing incomplete information too soon can cause more undue stress and worry. If you are the point of contact for your office in matters like this, please be very familiar with what you can and cannot say at any point in time. If you are not the point of contact for Res Life and Housing, find out what your role is (or isn’t) in communicating with residents and/or other members of your residential community. If the institution at large is taking the lead on communication from a centralized point of contact. This inevitably lightens the load for you regardless of your role within the department. However, some of our campuses don’t have that luxury. If you are asked to craft a statement to on campus residents, remember transparent and empathetic communication is key during this time. Craft a carefully worded message to inform residents of the tragic event, expressing condolences and emphasizing the availability of support services. If there are special hours being held to provide support to students, note this availability for awareness.
Take/Make Time to Remember…
One of the things we were able to do very well and quickly at Wake was pull together two opportunities for community gatherings which provided space for our students to process their emotions and offer mutual support with many caring professionals from the University around them. As you are looking over your student death protocol, notice if it fully outlines how the institution memorializes or remembers deceased students. Perhaps your plan isn’t this detailed but my guess is, it probably should be. If it is not outlined, ask a question or two like, how does the institution usually work with other students (or student leaders), campus organizations or athletic teams and the family of the deceased student to plan the appropriate memorial event or ritual? This could be anything from a candlelight vigil, memorial service or even dedicating a space in the student’s honor. Even if your locus of control doesn’t afford itself to think of being involved on such a grand level, how can you create opportunities for residents to share memories, stories, and condolences within the community? Consider setting up a memorial board or online tribute page where others can leave messages and photos. This little gesture may be just what someone needs to process their emotions.
The emotional toll that comes with death can manifest itself in different ways because grief manifests differently for everyone. Working with residential students in a shared living experience, we spend lots of time creating community in fun ways. We hope in times of chaos or mourning that the community we have built will be there to provide emotional support for the other members that reside there. As professionals, on the front lines or not we have to be prepared to listen actively, validate feelings, and offer reassurance as best we can. While also paying attention to how the grieving process is affecting us personally. As well, if you serve in a supervisory capacity, what space are you creating for your team (paraprofessional or professional) to debrief, seek support and process their own emotions? If this is not part of your protocol for critical incidents, today is the day to implement it. Take note, what resources are currently on your campus or contracted by your campus to help staff with grief support and/or self-care during moments like this?
Navigating the death of a college student is undoubtedly one of the most challenging aspects of our roles as Res Life Pros. However, by approaching the situation with empathy, sensitivity, and a commitment to supporting those affected, we can help our communities navigate the grieving process and emerge stronger together. As well, taking the time to review the policy or see it for the first time will help you better understand your role and how you can help the larger community process and heal. While I hope you can make it through your professional journey without having to deal with a tragedy such as this, this may not be the case. If you cannot, I hope the systems in place at your institution run as smoothly as they can and you are provided with the level of care and support that you truly need.
