RA360: Intentional Interactions and Conversations
TL;DR
Intentional conversations or interactions are opportunities to connect with your residents and provide guidance, feedback, and resources in an authentic way. They also serve to help residence life departments understand what’s going on in communities and coordinate care and support. As a student staff member, there are skills you can develop that can help both your residents and yourself. It’s a mentorship-type relationship.
A common ask of RAs and student staff members is to have “intentional conversations” with residents. These conversations can also be called “meaningful conversations”… or maybe you have a campus specific name for them, such as “Bobcat2Bobcat,” or “Wolf Chats.”
“Remember that deadlines do not prevent you from starting the project or task early. For instance, if you are required to complete Intentional Conversations with all of your residents by the end of the month, start early and spread them out! Waiting until the deadline to do them all is actually counter to the engaging communities your departments want you to create on your floors. Community building tasks should be continuous, fluid, and promote genuine connections among residents.“
Whatever they may be called, the idea behind these conversations is for you to connect with a resident, learn about them and their experiences, and identify areas where they be struggling or excelling so you can support them. What makes them “intentional” is that you’re not just engaging in small surface-level talk, but taking the conversation a bit deeper. You can think of them more like mentorship conversations.
If you’ve not done an intentional conversation before, it can seem awkward at first. It’s more than a conversation about the weather. You’re going in with a loose set of goals. But you also don’t want it to come off as robotic or inauthentic. Doing a good intentional conversation is more about going in with a mindset than a list of items to check off on a list.
Roompact’s software allows you to leave notes to yourself about rooms and residents you may interact with.
Peer Mentoring
Mentorship is a two way street! While helping your residents, you can also learn from them yourself. Additionally, many of the skills you gain through being a mentor overlap with the competencies and skills employers are looking for. Spend some time to learn about how you can develop your mentorship skills.
Skills of great peer mentors:
- Focuses on developing a relationship through trust and respect
- Coaches their mentee by sharing experiences and perspectives
- Offers and accepts constructive, actionable feedback
- Encourages and challenge their mentee to step out of their comfort zone
- Is patient, consistent, and reliable
- Meets consistently and follows up
Active Listening
In order to be successful in your conversations, you’ll need to learn to master “active listening skills.”
“Active listening is a key communication skill that involves absorbing the information someone shares with you, and reflecting back—through questions and your body language—that you heard them. Active listening is considered a valuable workplace skill because it can often lead to clearer communication and build more effective relationships with your colleagues, manager, and clients.”
From Coursera
Effective conversations hinge on active listening. The OARS technique offers a structured approach:
- Open Questions: Encourage detailed responses.
- Affirmations: Recognize and validate strengths.
- Reflective Listening: Echo and clarify messages to show understanding.
- Summarizing: Recap discussions to ensure clarity.
Here are some active listening techniques you can employ:
- Focus on the intent and purpose of the conversation.
- Pay attention to body language.
- Give encouraging verbal cues.
- Clarify and paraphrase information.
- Ask questions.
- Refrain from judgment.
- Summarize, share, and reflect.
If you’re using Roompact’s software, It’s likely that you may be asked to complete a Form after your conversations, this support article can walk you through how the feature works.
If you’ve not done intentional conversations before, it’s a useful skill that can help you in there future. What makes them intentional is that you’re going into the conversation with the goal of helping. Knowing your residents well (their backgrounds, the issues they may be facing, etc.) can help you be a better helper. If you’re not sure how to get started, here’s one example. You can find even more in the linked article as well.
How To Get Started
🏠 The Homesick Resident
Resident Profile: First-year student, out-of-state, introverted
“I know adjusting to a new place can be a lot—what’s been the hardest part of being away from home so far?”
Suggested Follow-up Questions:
- “What do you miss most?”
- “Have you found any spots on campus that feel comforting or familiar?”
Actionable Step:
Invite them to join you at an upcoming low-pressure floor event and introduce them to another resident from the same region.
Case Study
Resident says: “I’m just not clicking with anyone on the floor.”
→ How do you respond with empathy and still encourage engagement?
Resident says: “I failed my first exam, and I don’t know if I belong here.”
→ What’s a supportive but non-clinical next step?
Issues Your Residents May Be Facing
So what do you focus your conversations on? Each student is different, but there are some common themes that emerge as a traditional-aged college student navigates the college experience. Here are some themes that you may want to explore in your conversations
First Year Students
First year students are typically encountering issues related to being away from home for the first time and learning to be more independent. You’ve been a first year student yourself, reflect on what your experiences were but know that they may be different for your residents.
Early Fall
- Homesickness
- Transition to College-Level Academics
- Building Community and Making Friends
Late Fall
- Navigating Issues of Wellness
- Returning Home After A Semester of Change
- Setting Goals For Next Term
Early Spring
- Reflections on Academic Performance
- Setting Goals for The Term
- Making Changes After Lessons Learned
Late Spring
- Closure to the First Year and Moving Forward
- Making Housing Arrangements for Next Year
Second Year Students
Second year students are often in transition. They’re coming off of their first year of exploration (successes and mistakes) and are starting to make commitments to their academics, future careers, and who they want to be.
Early Fall
- Transitioning from the Summer
- Setting Goals for the New Academic Year
- Making a Commitment to A Major
Late Fall
- Thinking about Study Abroad, Internships, and Other Opportunities
- Committing to Student Orgs and Other Opportunities
Early Spring
- Potentially Moving Off Campus
- Beginning to Think About Careers Post-College
Late Spring
- Closure to the Second Year and Moving Forward
Third and Fourth Year Students
As your residents get further into their college career and become more independent, they may turn to you less for guidance and support. Some themes for conversations with upperclass students could include:
- Academic Success
- Graduate School Preparation
- Transitions and Post-Graduation Plans
- Career Preparation
- Internship, Study Abroad, and Other Opportunities
- Saying Goodbye and Entering The Next Phase of Life
There are so many issues your residents may face. Take a deeper dive into some of these.
People are diverse and come with different life experiences. Learn more about some of these.
How do people grow and develop? Take a deeper dive into some theory.
“It’s easy to get caught up in the “to-do” list of a Res Life staff member – resolving conflicts, planning programs, talking to residents, enforcing policies, and attending meetings. Mindfulness reminds us that the goal isn’t to achieve a specific outcome, but to be present and aware in the moment. Focus your attention on the resident in front of you, not the next task on your agenda. This fosters genuine connection and allows you to be more present in your interactions.“
Taking Notes On Your Conversations
As a part of doing your intentional conversation and interactions, you’re likely going to be asked to leave notes. Notes are NOT meant to be comprehensive, but to accomplish a few goals:
- Consistency. If someone else follows up (another student or pro staff member), they’ll have helpful context.
- Memory. You’ll forget things. Future-you will thank you.
- Support. Staff can spot trends and offer bigger-picture resources or interventions.
You don’t need to write a novel, and you definitely don’t need to be a detective. The goal is to capture what matters. Just enough to be helpful for you, your team, and your professional staff who may need context or want to offer support. Write notes that are respectful and action-oriented without oversharing. A good rule of thumb: “Would I feel okay if my resident read this with me in the room?” If yes, it’s probably fine. If not, rethink how you’ve worded it.
What To Write
🟢 Follow-up items for later check-ins
🟢 Goals they’ve shared
🟢 Challenges or patterns
🟢 Campus resources or referrals
What NOT to Write
❌ Medical or mental health diagnoses
❌ Speculation or gossip
❌ Third-party conflicts or rumors
❌ Details shared in confidence not relevant to your role
“The beginning of an academic year, in particular for freshman residents, can be overwhelming for some. This is the most critical time for an RA to reach out and introduce themselves, especially as a resource. Questions that might seem mundane to ResLife veterans, such as where the washing machines are located, are critical at that moment for a new resident. Leaving the comforts of home behind and embarking on a new academic adventure can stress anyone out, and even though some might have forgotten that feeling, we all have been there.“
Questions To Ponder:
- Think about a mentor you had. What were some of their best qualities? How did they help you?
- How can you act as a mentor to your residents?
- What makes a conversation “intentional”?
- What are the goals of “intentional conversations”?
- How can you do an intentional conversation in a comfortable conversational way?
- How can these conversations help provide better and more support to your residents?
RA360 Outcomes:
RAs and student staff members will be able to:
- Define what an intentional conversation is.
- Explain the purpose for conducting intentional conversations.
- Apply strategies and skills for completing intentional conversations well.
- Demonstrate taking good notes and follow up behaviors from intentional conversations.
More To Explore
RA360 is a set of resources organized around skills, topics and competencies relevant to Resident Advisors and similar related student staff positions in college and university residence halls.
