Part of the role of RAs and student staff members is to get to know and support residents. A key strategy in doing this is to have intentional conversations. Rather than just ask about the weather or focus on surface-level chats, each interaction is an opportunity to connect with and help residents. This is what makes them intentional. It’s what a good mentor and helper does.
If you’ve not done this before, it can be a bit difficult to start. The following are some scenarios that can help you think through how you might approach different residents with different background and issues. With each of these, think about how you can ask open-ended questions. Questions that get your residents talking. Then just listen and let the conversation flow.
🏠 The Homesick Resident
Resident Profile: First-year student, out-of-state, introverted
“I know adjusting to a new place can be a lot. What’s been the hardest part of being away from home so far?”
Suggested Follow-up Questions:
- “What do you miss most?”
- “Have you found any spots on campus that feel comforting or familiar?”
Actionable Step:
Invite them to join you at an upcoming low-pressure floor event and introduce them to another resident from the same region.
😵💫 The Overcommitted Student Leader
Resident Profile: Junior, club leader, honors student
“You’ve got a lot going on. How are you balancing everything?”
Suggested Follow-up Questions:
- “Are there times you feel like you’re just getting through the week?”
- “What’s something you’ve had to say no to recently?”
Actionable Step:
Share information on campus well-being resources or time management workshops.
🧑🎓 The Quiet Floor Ghost
Resident Profile: Sophomore, keeps to themselves, rarely seen at events
“Hey, I realized we haven’t chatted much. How’s the semester treating you?”
Suggested Follow-up Questions:
- “What does a good day on campus look like for you?”
- “Have you found any clubs or spaces that feel like your vibe?”
Actionable Step:
Suggest a one-on-one walk to a nearby coffee shop or casual check-in spot. Share a low-key event coming up and offer to go with them.
🎨 The Creative Looking for a Niche
Resident Profile: First-year art major, doesn’t feel challenged, seeks creative outlet
“What’s been inspiring you lately. Any cool projects or ideas on your mind?”
Suggested Follow-up Questions:
- “Are you finding time to create outside of class?”
- “What would your dream campus event or club look like?”
Actionable Step:
Connect them with the campus art club, suggest mural or bulletin board collaborations, or spotlight their work in a floor newsletter.
💻 The Remote Class Commuter
Resident Profile: Junior, mostly online classes, working part-time
“How’s it been managing mostly virtual classes while living on campus?”
Suggested Follow-up Questions:
- “Do you ever feel disconnected from campus life?”
- “Where do you go when you need a break from screens?”
Actionable Step:
Offer ideas for hybrid in-person events and highlight campus spaces with good study vibes. Connect them with other residents who are online-heavy students.
🫂 The Resident in Conflict
Resident Profile: Second-year student with ongoing roommate tension
“How are things feeling in your room lately?”
Suggested Follow-up Questions:
- “What would make your living space feel more comfortable?”
- “Have you and your roommate had a chance to talk through things?”
Actionable Step:
Refer to mediation or conflict resolution support. Offer to help structure a roommate meeting using a roommate agreement revisit form.
🏳️🌈 The LGBTQ+ Resident Navigating Identity
Resident Profile: First-year, recently came out, unsure of support systems
“What’s helped you feel like you can be yourself here so far?”
Suggested Follow-up Questions:
- “Have you found any affirming spaces on campus?”
- “What does support look like to you right now?”
Actionable Step:
Share information about campus LGBTQ+ centers or groups, allyship trainings, or affinity programs. Respect privacy and let them guide the pace.
🌱 The First-Gen Student Feeling the Pressure
Resident Profile: First in family to attend college, academically capable but overwhelmed
“How are you feeling about your classes and everything outside them?”
Suggested Follow-up Questions:
- “What’s something you wish more people understood about your experience?”
- “Are there any moments where you’ve felt really proud of yourself recently?”
Actionable Step:
Connect them with a first-gen mentorship program or academic support services. Validate their experience and encourage goal setting based on strengths.
There are so many issues your residents may face. Take a deeper dive into some of these.
People are diverse and come with different life experiences. Learn more about some of these.
