What advice would you give to an incoming first year student? How can you enable them to build community and a sense of belonging? Consider writing your own or sharing this with your incoming residents.
One of your first experiences in college is likely going to be meeting the individuals living near you in the residence halls. This community is really special, even if you don’t immediately recognize this when you start the school year out. In my life experiences, this has been the only time where I have lived around people in a similar life stage as me, focusing on classes, and generally around the same age. Most of my friends that I’ve met post college inevitably talk about living on campus at some point, or they never went to college or commuted when in school, so they feel like they missed out on a formative life experience. That being said, there are also people who didn’t love their on-campus living experience; this is often because they simply didn’t know how to or didn’t want to cultivate a sense of belonging within their new, albeit temporary, home for the school year. If you’d like some ideas on how to develop a feeling of belonging in your hall, keep reading!
Start strong.
Right out of the gates you should start to work on connecting with others. It is a lot harder to decide to connect with your neighbors half way through the year as they have likely started developing friendships with others, have their routines down, and have activities they have already established themselves in. That’s not to say you can’t put yourself out there at a later time, but it is generally easiest when everyone is just getting started!
Ask questions.
There are basic questions that work well to ask anyone living in the halls that are good places to start building relationships. Yes, basic is okay. Here are some easy suggestions:
“Hi! My name is ___. What is your name?” “When did you move in?” “What do you think of the room so far?” “Where are you moving from?” “Why did you pick this school to attend?” After they respond, it’s a good idea to share your thoughts or answer any questions they may ask you. Sometimes people are so nervous when they start the school year that they may not be eager to talk. That’s okay and is not a reflection on you.
Get out of your comfort zone, knock on doors
I still remember the first person who knocked on my dorm room door in 2014 when I was starting as a first-year student in college. She was nice, and though we didn’t become friends, we had a cordial relationship with one another throughout our time living on the same floor. Throughout the next few years we would say a quick “hello” to one another if we saw each other in passing around campus. You never know who you will meet and it doesn’t hurt to knock on someone’s door!
Use your Community Group Chat
If you’re feeling nervous about inviting people in person, consider using your floor’s group chat to invite the people who you live near. It is not just a chat for the Resident Advisor to give updates.
Actually attend the events in your hall.
There are likely events happening around the hall you live in, whether formally created events by the hall staff team or put together by another resident. Just show up, even if you feel intimidated by it!
Invite others.
As simple as it sounds. Ask others to go with you to the things you want to go to, even if it’s just a meal at the dining hall or figuring out where your classes are.
Be okay with rejection.
Not everyone is going to want to build relationships in the hall, and that’s okay. You can invite people, and they can choose to say yes or no. They may say no because they are overwhelmed with classes, have other plans, or simply don’t want to interact. That’s okay. We can only control our own actions. For a lot of people, being invited feels good, even if ultimately they don’t want to do the thing you’re inviting them to do with you.
I hope that these words of advice in your first year of college help you cultivate a sense of belonging in your Residence Hall. Soon the relationships you develop will extend beyond the halls and across campus. Whatever happens, try to enjoy your first semester of college!
