Students in college will almost certainly face some loneliness, whether that’s when they first arrive and don’t know anyone or later in the year when they feel everyone else has connections but them. While some loneliness is expected in the residence hall, it is also something that Residence Life can help tackle. Here are my tips for RAs or student staff in helping the residents on their floor not feel lonely.
Create opportunities
One way to help students with loneliness is by creating ample opportunities for connections. There are lots of different ways people prefer to connect, but not everyone likes the same things. Having a variety of conversations, events, types of advertising, and timing can help allow different people to want to and have the chance to connect. For example, you could have a first event be some sort of video game tournament and the next be something crafty. While not everyone will want to do both events, you’ll have different people excited about each which includes more people and helps people connect with others with similar interests.
Make small interactions intentional
One of the best pieces of advice on this topic I can give, especially for all the busy student leaders out there, is to take advantage of the small, quick interactions. When you’re walking to the communal bathroom or waiting for the elevator and you run into a resident you never see, seize the opportunity. Ask questions on how they are doing that aren’t probing, but that give opportunities for them to share more than just a “fine” or “good”. For example you can ask: “how is living with your roommate? What are you liking about college and what’s been difficult?” Questions that are easy to answer and open the door to more conversation if they’d like to take it. You can also try to schedule something with them as people are more likely to follow through if you set it up in person – But follow up with a calendar invite or reminder text or you may both forget!
Know your residents
Simply providing opportunities for connection is a great step, but actually trying to know residents and have spaces where they can share who they are is key to fostering belonging in individuals. A trick I have always used working in Residence Life, is keeping a running list on my notes app of all my residents. Whenever I am leaving a small interaction with a resident, I pull out my phone and quickly jot down something I learned about them. For example, “Jimmy has a big test tomorrow. Lateshia grew up on a dairy farm. Rachel just joined the art club.” It can be hard to get to know so many people all at once. Keeping notes can make it easier to remember small details and things to follow up with people on. Another way of helping your residents be known is giving them space to express themselves. Easy ways to do this can be through the
bulletin boards. For example, having clothes pins with your residents’ names on them that they can pin to memes describing how they feel that week. Or having a board where they can write their favorite songs from the summer. Active programs can also be great opportunities for expression. For example, doing a themed painting night where people paint something to represent their intention for the year. This way they can create and choose to share more with the people around them if they would like. Being known is important because it helps people feel like they belong as they are. And it also helps the community and the RA know if the person isn’t their usual self and may need support.
Make loneliness impossible!
Okay, maybe it’s not realistic to eradicate loneliness. But, by creating lots of opportunities for connections, taking advantage of the small moments, and actually getting to know your residents you can help shrink feelings of loneliness and increase residents’ feelings of belonging in the residence hall.
