As a Resident Assistant (RA), you learn about resources you may not have realized existed at your institution. You learn how to recommend resources to your residents and even how to offer to go with them to the resource when you feel they need it at the moment. A topic that may not be covered during your training is what to do when the person needing the resource isn’t a resident, but a fellow student leader.
Whether it be someone you consider a friend or someone who just happens to be on the same staff as you, when another student leader is in need of help the role of a Resident Assistant does not change. The decisions you make in these situations and afterwards will have ripple effects. How far they extend will vary but doing nothing is the worst option in these situations.
The Don’ts of Helping a Peer Resident Assistant
Don’t ignore the problem: As a student leader, it is normal to want to appear as if you have it all together all of the time. If it is glaring obvious that another student leader is struggling – whether it be with their academics, their personal life, their role, or their health – pretending the problem isn’t there does not help anyone. Talking about it amongst other student leaders might feel okay, but you should really talk to your supervisor. Give the RA the benefit of the privacy you would give other residents and express your concerns privately to your supervisor. Sharing what you observed may put the situation on your supervisor’s radar or it might give them more information for supporting the student leader.
Don’t talk about it with other student leaders: It is normal to have individuals you are closer with on staff that you use as a sounding board when dealing with situations. Learning how to talk in hypotheticals or without giving names comes with experience but this is not the time for that. Your colleague does not need the added stress of feeling like the entire staff is whispering behind their back. If another student leader brings up concerns, redirect the conversation or remind them they should only talk about that with a supervisor.
Don’t make jokes under the guise of help: If you have a close rapport with a staff member in crisis, you might feel you can joke about getting them help. This could come across as dismissive or minimizing the problem. It could also feel threatening if the student leader has not talked to anyone yet. Show you are serious by using some of the tools you utilize when working with resident.
The Do’s of Helping a Peer Resident Assistant
Do talk to them: If you notice that someone seems to be going through a hard time, talk to them about it. Remind them they have someone in their corner who wants them to be well. Even if you aren’t close with the RA, letting someone know you see them and care for them can be extremely impactful.
Do offer resources: Campus resources are for everybody on campus. It is easy to forget as a student leader that sometimes the resources you offer are also available to you. Remind your colleague that the resources are there for them and you are willing to go with them if they need.
Do follow protocol: In the event of any crisis or emergency, the protocols you are trained on are essential. When calling for help, you might tell the Hall Director or supervisor on call that the individual in crisis is a student leader but the main goal is to ensure appropriate individuals are notified. If you would not give a resident the night to sleep it off, you shouldn’t for another RA. Make the call. Follow your protocol.
Do welcome them back: If the result of the situation is that the RA who was in crisis had to spend some time away from the role, welcome them back when they return. Pretending like nothing happened might feel like the safest option but it can leave both of you unsure of how to navigate the new dynamic. A simple “I’m happy to see you and look forward to working with you again,” can clear the air more than you might realize.
Do get help yourself: Handling a situation with another RA might leave you with some feelings you aren’t sure how to process. Be sure to talk to your supervisor or a counselor to work through anything you might be feeling. It is okay to need to decompress and find ways to recenter.
Resident Assistants are an invaluable resource on campuses. You triage situations and see the highest of highs and lowest of lows. None of that takes away from the fact that sometimes you or another RA might need help. Needing help does not make someone bad at their job, it makes them human. Being the one who makes sure someone gets that help is challenging but doing the right thing sometimes means doing the hard thing.
You’ve got this RA.
