Many students are originally interested in an RA or student leadership position because they love being with people. Often they have good, healthy friendships, people like them right off the bat, and they don’t cause a lot of conflict. These are great things! However, it does mean that many RAs are not as used to the feeling of people not liking them, which comes with the territory of enforcing policy. This can make RAs feel like they are the bad guy. However, you are NOT the bad guy. Let me explain why.
Policy is not in place to ruin residents’ fun; it’s there to keep the community safe and thriving. For example, while you may feel in the moment like the bad guy when you have to shut down a party at 3am, you could be saving neighbors from a sleepless night because of all the noise, preventing a student from overdrinking and getting sick, or potentially stopping a student from being in a compromising situation while intoxicated. Even with small things, like confiscating candles or toasters, you’re helping prevent the building from burning down. As you enforce policy, remember that you are doing it for the betterment of the overall community and not to police the students for no reason.
How you go about enforcing policy can also help you not be perceived as the bad guy. As was just mentioned, there are reasons for policies. Explain those reasons to your residents. Help them understand why you must respond to the situation. When people know why they are being documented for a situation, it can help bring down angry feelings. Speaking of documenting, it’s also helpful to affirm the fact that your job ends at documenting. You are not the one who handles the outcome of the situation moving forward. Instead, let them know they will be contacted by whoever at your school handles conduct. Recommend to tell the resident to check their emails and respond to set up the conduct meeting. Tell them it’s in their best interest to be open and honest with whoever hears their case. This also helps the resident see you want what’s best for them.
Remember that the moment you are handling a situation is only a small part of the overall response of the university. There is after care or follow up set up by the university for the resident depending on the situation. The way you treat the resident in the aftermath is also crucial in showing your residents that you are not the bad guy. Keep inviting them to stuff on your floor and encouraging them to be a part of the floor community. Your small talk is also important. Do not shy away from a resident just because you handled a tough scenario with them. You may be tempted to ignore the resident and pretend the situation didn’t happen, but don’t do that. Showing that you remember what happened and that it doesn’t change the fact that you want what’s best for the resident is impactful in demonstrating that you aren’t judging them for their actions and don’t dislike them.
As a student leader, you are on the good side! You get to help residents lean away from making mistakes and doing things that they will later regret. You get to set the tone that when they do make mistakes, they are not seen as bad people, just people who made a mistake. Approaching your role in addressing policy violations with understanding and compassion will help you and your residents realize your role as the good guy and not the bad guy.
