Welcome to the new and exciting world of being a RA! As you are going through intense trainings, busy move-in scheduling, and the start of the school year, things may seem a little crazy in your new role. Although your schedule and responsibilities may be a bit hectic right now, the beginning of a new school year is the perfect time to start having conversations and building relationships with your residents. The first impression you make to your floor, community, or residents is critical! People want to know there’s a friendly face in their new home that is here to support them and make them feel like they belong. As a RA, it’s never too early to help others feel welcome and included.
Just think and reflect with me for a minute here. When you first moved into college, if you never saw your RA out in the community, would you be inclined to seek them out and build a relationship with them? Would you want to go to the programs and events hosted by someone you have never met before? Would you feel comfortable voicing any concerns you had about the community? Most likely, the answer to all of these questions would be no. You would probably try to find community elsewhere on campus, or maybe you would even struggle finding any sense of community at all.
As a RA, you are the leader who sets the tone for the community. Start of the school year with amazing vibes that make people feel comfortable communicating with you and others! This starts the second residents begin to move in. If you aren’t approachable or aren’t around your community during move in, that will be your residents’ first impression of you. It will be incredibly difficult to start building relationships with residents later on in the school year if they don’t see you as a helpful resource right from the get-go.
Potentially, you may feel a little nervous or awkward starting conversations with strangers who will be your new neighbors. You don’t want to seem unapproachable or unavailable, but you aren’t sure how to start connecting with others. That’s totally valid and understandable! You do not have to be the most extroverted person in the world to make meaningful and impactful connections. Here are a few conversation starters that you can tailor to your own tone of voice and community to use during move in:
When you first see a resident moving into your community, you can say:
Hi! My name is ____ and I’ll be your RA. Welcome to (Residence Hall name here). How’s moving in going?
Follow Up Option 1: Where are you moving from? Did you have a long drive to get here today?
Follow Up Option 2: Do you know how to get to your room? If not, I’m happy to show you how to get there!
Follow Up Option 3: Do you have lunch plans? If not, I can show you where our dining hall is.
Your community may be hosting some welcome programs the week of move in! I know when I get a personal invite to an event, and someone shares that they would like to see me there, I am way more likely to attend! Fliers are a great way to advertise around your community, but it can be really overwhelming to move into a completely new home and then go to an event where you don’t know anyone. As a RA, personally inviting residents to any events is a great way to make people feel welcome and show that you care about them.
Here are some conversation starters for inviting your residents to programs and events:
Hi! Just wanted to let you know we have _____ program tonight and it would be great to see you there!
Follow Up Option 1: The program is going to be in ____ lounge. It is on the ___ floor. You can get there by heading (provide directions here).
Follow Up Option 2: I totally understand that you can’t make it to the program tonight! Here are a few more programs going on this week (explain any events happening here). It would be awesome to have you there!
Maybe you feel really confident about the first time meeting residents, but the second or third time you see them, you aren’t super sure what to talk about. Perhaps, even more awkward, you remember meeting a resident during move in, but you can’t quite remember their name… eek! It’s important to learn your residents’ names early on rather than later, so it’s completely appropriate to re-ask someone’s name, even if you know you have met them before.
Here are a few questions to guide the second or third interaction you may have with a resident:
Hi! How’s unpacking and settling in going?
Follow Up Option 1: That’s great that moving in is going well for you! Have you gotten a chance to get to know your roommates?
(Pro Tip: Asking about roommates is a great way for you to connect with your resident, but also learn more about other residents! You’ll get a vibe for whether they knew each other or not before moving in, and maybe even what they all like to do together.)
Follow Up Option 2: (If needed) I’m so sorry, I know I met you earlier this week, but forgot your name, can you remind me of it?
Follow Up Option 3: I’m sorry to hear that move in didn’t go quite as expected! Can I show you around our community so that you have a better sense of your new home? We also have ___ programs coming up that would be a great way for you to meet some of your new neighbors!
My hope is that these mini conversation guides help you in your new role as a RA to connect with your residents and start the year off slaying! The beginning of the year is an overwhelming time with starting a new job, classes, and the school year. It’s important to recognize this and take care of yourself, but it’s also very likely that your residents are feeling some of the many same feelings you are. Building community early with your residents is a great way to help you start off the school year smoothly, ease the stress of being new to the RA role, and help support your residents.
Carley Eichhorn (she/her) is currently a Hall Director at the University of Michigan. In 2021, she graduated from Central Michigan University with undergraduate experience as an RA and a tour guide. In 2022, she graduated with her master’s degree from Oklahoma State University, where she served in the Residential Life department as an Assistant Residential Community Educator and a Social Media and Communications Intern. With two degrees in Communications, Carley loves to write and chit-chat, but also has a passion for reading, hiking, playing water polo, and taking naps with her cat, Obi.
