As a student staff member (and a peer helper), you have an important role, but you’re not a counselor, doctor, or security officer. Some situations will rightfully be beyond what you can or should handle alone. Knowing when to refer a resident to professional help (and how to do it sensitively) is a crucial skill. It’s not a failure to refer! In fact, connecting someone with the appropriate resources is often the best help you can give.
When To Refer
Trust your training and instincts on issues that require professional intervention. For example, if a resident mentions thoughts of self-harm or suicide, that’s always a sign to get professional help involved immediately. If someone discloses an incident of sexual assault or ongoing abuse, you (as a staff member) are typically required to report it to the appropriate campus administrators. Those situations are beyond your scope to handle alone. Even less extreme cases, like a student showing signs of severe depression, an eating disorder, or high levels of anxiety, should be gently steered toward professional counselors. A good rule of thumb: If it’s beyond a normal roommate conflict or minor college stress(especially anything involving safety, mental health crisis, or legal issues) it’s time to refer to a pro. Also, listen to your inner voice: if you find yourself thinking, “I don’t know how to help them with this,” that’s a sign to loop in someone with more expertise.
Be honest about confidentiality and reporting: At the very start of a serious conversation, it can help to remind the resident that while you respect their privacy, there are certain things you must share with professionals if they arise (for example, harm to self or others). Never promise a resident absolute secrecy, because if they do share something that triggers a mandatory report or immediate help, you’ll have to break that confidence for safety’s sake. What you can promise is that you will only tell the people who need to know, and that you’ll involve the resident in that process as much as possible. For example, you might say upfront: “Everything you tell me stays between us unless it’s something really serious like you or someone else being in danger. In that case, I would need to involve a professional, but I will talk with you about it if it ever comes up.” This sets a transparent tone. Residents usually appreciate the honesty, and it builds trust. They know you won’t gossip about their issue, and you’ll only escalate if it’s truly necessary for safety.
How To Refer
Know your campus resources: Familiarize yourself with the support services on campus (counseling center, health center, academic support, campus safety, etc.), so you can confidently guide a student to them. It’s much easier to refer someone when you know exactly what that resource offers and how to access it. For instance, if you know the counseling center’s process, you can say, “Our counseling center has walk-in hours every weekday at 3 PM, and it’s free for students. I can walk over there with you tomorrow if you want.” Knowing details (like location, hours, and what a student can expect) demystifies the referral and reduces the student’s anxiety about seeking help. It also shows that you believe in these resources. If you speak about them in a positive, matter-of-fact way, the resident is more likely to trust that referral.
Although names of offices and the available services vary from campus to campus, there are some common ones you might want to familiarize yourself with.
Offer to help with the transition: Referring isn’t just saying “go see counseling, bye.” It’s a warm handoff. Depending on the situation, you might offer to sit with the student while they call a crisis line, walk with them to the counseling center, or help them schedule an appointment. For example, “Would you like me to come with you to the health center? I can stay with you while you wait, if that makes it easier.” This shows you’re not abandoning them; you’re broadening the circle of support. However, also empower the resident: frame it as getting additional help, not shuffling them off. You can say, “This sounds like something a professional counselor could really help with. They have a lot of experience with exactly this kind of situation. I’ll be right here to support you, and I think connecting with them could give you more options.” Make it a team effort: “We can talk to our Hall Director together and see what they suggest.” By doing this, the resident feels supported and understands that there are others who can help them better in this specific area.
How to say it: It can be tough to find the right words to suggest a referral. Here are a few gentle, respectful ways to phrase it:
- “I’m really glad you told me this. I want to help you the best I can. I know a counselor on campus who deals with this kind of thing a lot. Would you be okay if we loop them in? I can even go with you to the first meeting.”
- “This is important, and I think it deserves more support than I can give by myself. There are people here whose job is to help students with [issue]. How would you feel about talking with [office]/[person]? I can help connect you, if you want.”
- “You mentioned feeling like nothing is helping. That makes me think it might be time to talk with a professional who knows a lot about this. It’s kind of like bringing in an expert – I’ll still be here for you too, but a counselor might have some extra ways to help you cope. What do you think?”
In all these examples, notice the language: “Would you be okay if…?”, “How would you feel about…?”, “I can go with you…”. This keeps the student involved in the decision and reassures them you’re not just pawning them off. You’re conveying: I care about you, and I want you to get the best help possible. Also, when something must be reported or referred (like safety issues), be clear and calm: “I need to get someone else involved to make sure you stay safe. Let’s call Campus Safety right now to help, and I’ll stay with you while we do that.” If it’s an emergency (for example, the student has taken harmful action or is in immediate danger), don’t hesitate – call the emergency number or campus police immediately, then inform your supervisor. In such a crisis, safety comes first, even if it means the student is upset you called; you can explain and support them once help is on the way.
Case Study
You’re talking with a resident, Brian, who admits he’s been feeling really low – he says something like, “Sometimes I wonder if anyone would care if I just wasn’t here anymore.” A statement like that is a major red flag. You respond with empathy: “Brian, I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this. That sounds so painful.” You gently ask if he’s thinking about suicide right now. He says, “I mean, not right now, but I do think about it a lot.” You know this is beyond your training. Brian needs professional help. You say, “Brian, I’m really glad you told me. I do need to let our professional staff know because I care about your safety. How about we call the counselor on duty together? I’ll stay right here with you.” Brian seems hesitant, but you reassure him: “The counselors know how to help in situations like this. We can even walk over to the counseling center if you prefer to talk in person. I’ll come with you.” By staying with Brian and framing it as getting him more help rather than kicking him to someone else, you make the referral less intimidating. After a bit of discussion, Brian agrees. You call your supervisor and connect Brian with the counseling center that same day. Later, Brian thanks you for helping him get support. He says he was scared at first, but your presence and encouragement made it easier. In this scenario, you followed the golden rules: you recognized the need to refer, you were honest about involving others for his safety, and you assisted him through the process.
