As an RA or student staff member, you’ll encounter a wide range of student issues. Some that feel familiar, and others that might catch you completely off guard. One area that often goes unnoticed but can have a significant impact on student well-being is eating and eating habits. For many college students, especially those living away from home for the first time, the transition to campus life can bring major changes in how, when, and why they eat. This post explores disordered eating, not just clinically diagnosed eating disorders, but the broader spectrum of behaviors and challenges that fall under disordered eating patterns. Understanding this topic can help you better support your residents through these issues.
What Are Eating Disorders? What Is Disordered Eating?
Disordered eating refers to a spectrum of unhealthy eating behaviors and attitudes that do not meet clinical criteria for an eating disorder. These behaviors may include chronic dieting, skipping meals, fasting, binge eating, or using methods like purging, laxatives, or excessive exercise to control weight. (For example, someone might obsessively count calories or cut out entire food groups without meeting full diagnostic criteria for anorexia or bulimia.)
By contrast, Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are formally diagnosed conditions with specific frequency and severity of symptoms. In other words, someone with disordered eating may engage in similar behaviors and distress as someone with an eating disorder, but their patterns are usually less severe, shorter in duration, or cause less impairment.
Common Disordered Eating Behaviors
Examples include extreme dieting or chronic restriction (skipping meals, cutting out carbs/fats), frequent snacking or overeating in secret, ritualized eating (e.g. chewing each bite dozens of times), and compensatory tactics like self-induced vomiting, laxative/diuretic use, or rigid exercise routines. Other signs can be an intense preoccupation with “clean” or “healthy” eating (sometimes called orthorexia), using diet pills or supplements, and feeling a loss of control around food. These behaviors increase risk of developing a true eating disorder even if they don’t yet meet medical thresholds.
Eating Disorders in Men
Disordered eating in men often goes unrecognized but can include behaviors like obsessive focus on muscle gain and leanness, rigid dieting, binge eating, and excessive use of supplements or steroids. Unlike the more commonly recognized patterns in women, men may frame these behaviors as “healthy” or “disciplined,” masking underlying issues with body image and control. Many struggle with anxiety around food and exercise, guilt over missed workouts or meals, and emotional distress that they may be reluctant to express. Because societal norms often normalize or praise these behaviors, and diagnostic tools are often geared toward women’s experiences, disordered eating in men can be harder to identify, making awareness and early intervention especially important.
Causes of Disordered Eating
Disordered eating is usually influenced by a mix of factors. Biologically, genetics and neurobiology can predispose someone to these issues (it’s not a choice). Psychologically, traits like low self-esteem, perfectionism, anxiety, depression or difficulty coping with stress can contribute. Sociocultural pressures (such as media messages valuing thinness, muscled bodies, diet culture, weight stigma and fat-shaming) also play a big role. In college, new environments can amplify these pressures: young adults suddenly control their own meals for the first time, face intense social and academic stress, and experience peer pressure about appearance. Many students describe the “perfect storm” of college life (heavy workloads, less routine, a focus on social image and the need for control) that can trigger or worsen disordered eating behaviors. Traumatic events or stressors (bullying, loss of loved ones, personal failures) may also lead individuals to try controlling food or weight as a way to cope.
Warning Signs
Student staff members living close to residents often notice changes in habits or mood. Key signs to watch for include:
- Behavioral/Eating-related: Noticeable patterns like meal-skipping, ritualized eating (e.g. excessive chewing, only eating “safe” foods), frequent use of diet pills or laxatives, or evidence of bingeing/purging. A resident might make excuses to avoid mealtimes or eating in front of others, or they may start eating large amounts of food in secret. Pay attention if someone constantly talks about “cheating” on their diet or insists on eating alone.
- Emotional: Watch for extreme concern about body image (talking constantly about perceived flaws) or expressions of guilt and shame around eating. Mood swings, irritability, depression or anxiety (especially around meal times) are common. For example, a resident might become very anxious if a meal plan is disrupted or break into tears over a slice of cake. Excessive criticism of themselves (“I’m so fat” or “I’m disgusting”) is a red flag.
- Physical: Sudden weight loss or gain is perhaps the most obvious sign. Other physical indicators include frequent dizziness or fainting (especially after standing up), feeling cold all the time, or drastic changes in energy. Females may miss menstrual periods (amenorrhea) if they’re restricting. You might notice dry skin, brittle nails, thinning hair, or fine “peach fuzz” (lanugo) on the body. Dental enamel erosion or small calluses on knuckles (from purging) are more direct signs.
- Social: Changes in friendships or activities can signal trouble. The student may withdraw from social events (especially those involving food) and become secretive. They might “stay in” more, skip late-night outings or avoid family dinners. Conflicts with roommates over food or repeated excuses (headaches, upset stomach) to miss meals are concerning. Notice if a student suddenly hangs out only with peers who diet or talks incessantly with roommates about calories and exercise.
These signs rarely appear all at once, but observing any combination of behavioral, emotional, physical or social changes should prompt a caring conversation (especially if other symptoms accumulate).
Approaching a Student in Distress
Do:
- Find a private time and place. Set aside a quiet, one-on-one meeting away from others. Let the resident know you’re there to talk because you care, not to punish.
- Use gentle, “I” statements. For example, “I’ve noticed you seem upset when we eat together, and I’m worried about you” is better than “You have a problem.” Express concern about their health and feelings, not just weight or food. Saying “I care about you and want to help” can open the door.
- Share your own feelings or struggles. Briefly relating (if comfortable) that you also deal with stress or body image issues can build trust. It lowers barriers and makes it clear you’re on their side, not lecturing.
- Listen and stay calm. Let them talk without interrupting or getting defensive. Show empathy (“That sounds really hard”) and validation (“I’m so sorry you feel that way”). Avoid arguing or insisting, even if they say hurtful things. If they become upset or defensive, stay supportive and remind them you’re there for them.
- Be prepared with resources. Offer to share information or accompany them to meet a counselor or health professional. You might bring written contacts for campus counseling, health services, or peer support groups. Emphasize that help is available and recovery is possible, but avoid pushing too hard in the moment.
Don’t:
- Don’t shame or blame. Avoid judgmental language (“You’re doing this to yourself,” “You look fine”). Statements focusing on appearance or size (“You look thin!”) are unhelpful at best.
- Don’t make promises you can’t keep. For instance, if there’s any risk of self-harm or severe medical danger, you must get help. You can’t promise total confidentiality over that. However, reassure them that you will support them in seeking help.
- Don’t pressure them to “just eat.” Avoid lecturing or giving unsolicited diet tips. Comments like “Why don’t you just eat normally?” or “You should try this diet” can feel dismissive.
- Don’t panic or criticize. Stay measured in your tone. Even if they react negatively (denial, anger, silence), resist engaging in conflict. Use “I” language (as above) rather than “you” language to minimize feelings of accusation.
How to Help and Refer
After talking, follow through on support. Here are concrete steps you can take:
- Consult with supervisors: You don’t have to handle everything alone. Use your chain of support especially if the student resists help or is in danger.
- Refer to campus resources: Encourage the student to talk with a professional. For example, you could say, “Our campus counseling center has specialists who understand this” and offer to walk them to an appointment. Most campuses have free or low-cost counseling and health services. Schools often have protocols for this. If the student agrees, work with your supervisor or health staff to make an appointment.
- Suggest support groups or peer programs: Many colleges have eating-disorder support groups or student health workshops on stress management and healthy body image. Sometimes just knowing others struggle can help them feel less alone.
- Check in and stay involved: Continue to let the student know you care. Follow up in a gentle way (“How did your appointment go?”) and invite them to hang out or study together. This reinforces that support is ongoing.
Creating a Supportive, Body-Positive Environment
Your role in residence life extends beyond one-on-one chats. You can foster a healthy atmosphere that benefits all students:
- Be mindful of language: Model positive, non-judgmental talk about food and bodies. For example, refrain from commenting on each other’s meals (“Wow, that’s a lot of fries!”) and do not indulge in “fat talk” or diet-speak about weight.
- Encourage communal meals: Organize fun kitchen or “family dinner” nights in the lounge or apartment. Eating together without judgment can normalize healthy eating habits. Share recipes or prepare simple balanced dishes as a group to celebrate food as nourishment and community.
- Promote self-care activities: Offer programs on stress reduction, yoga, cooking basics, or media literacy. For instance, a bulletin board highlighting “healthy body image tips” or hosting a speaker on media and self-esteem can raise awareness.
- Celebrate diversity: Post inclusive posters or flyers that depict various body shapes and focus on qualities unrelated to appearance (friendship, talents, kindness). Emphasize that all students deserve respect and support, no matter their size or eating habits.
- Enforce a respectful community: When you overhear teasing or insensitive remarks about weight or appearance, speak up. A simple, “Hey, let’s keep our comments positive” can curb harmful chatter. Encourage residents to look out for each other’s mental health.
By creating a warm, accepting floor culture, you help all residents feel safer discussing their struggles. Remember, a body-positive environment means focusing on health and well-being, not numbers on a scale. Providing this information calmly and encouraging professional help are key steps. With your support, residents struggling with disordered eating can feel less alone and more hopeful about getting help. Recovery is possible, and early intervention by caring staff members can make a real difference.
