~ Blog Posts Written By RAs for RAs ~
Determining the line between being friends and friendly with your residents is a vital part of being a resident assistant. However there may be times when you have a pre-existing relationship with a resident, or you develop a closer relationship with a resident over time. This isn’t a bad thing, in fact making friends through your work in residence life can be one of the best long term benefits of becoming a RA. However there are some issues that can occur when you have a close relationship with a resident:
- Complaints of favoritism / preferential treatment.
- Requesting favors beyond what is typically allowed for a resident.
- Bias against other residents.
- Arguments over the enforcement of department policies.
- Lack of boundaries / inability to enforce boundaries.
These are just a few examples of what can happen, but they are all symptoms of a resident assistant not setting appropriate boundaries with their residents. If you have a pre-existing relationship with a resident that is assigned to your area, it is a good idea to have a conversation with them about your responsibilities as a resident assistant. Establishing boundaries is an essential part of any healthy relationship, and this way you can ensure that you are protecting the friendship by keeping it separate from your resident to resident assistant relationship. There are also some steps you can take to ensure that these relationships are not used against you:
- Communicate with your supervisor
- Set clear boundaries between who you are as a friend and who you are as a resident assistant
- Ensure your friends understand your responsibilities as a resident assistant
- Know when to take a step back
- Seek outside advice – talk to a more senior resident assistant about how they balance their relationships with their responsibilities.
There is no one way to handle these issues, as each resident is different, but using the ideas above you can take measures to prevent possible issues that arise when close to a resident you oversee. The most important thing is that you protect both your position and your friends without compromising either.
