RA360: Working With Your Supervisor
TL;DR
Getting to know your supervisor, what their expectations are, and how to best communicate with them are important skills. The relationship is a two-way street and there are actions you can take to enhance your work and your experience. Come in with a plan for your one-on-one meetings and use performance evaluations as an opportunity to learn.
Building a positive relationship with your supervisor is key to succeeding as a RA or student staff member. A good supervisor will coach, encourage, teach, and challenge you. Great supervisory relationships don’t just happen overnight. They take effort. The following sections provide practical guidance on how to set you up for success. Whether this is your first job or you’re an experienced student leader, these tips can help.
Setting Expectations from the Start
Clear mutual expectations form the foundation of a strong supervisor-supervisee relationship. Early on, clarify what your supervisor expects from you in your role and what you can expect from your supervisor in terms of support and guidance. Many supervisors will review the job description and maybe even a list of expectations with you during staff training or during a first meeting. This is a great chance to ask questions and ensure you both understand your responsibilities. Discuss concrete expectations like reporting duties, response times, meeting schedules, and performance standards. It’s also okay to express what you need from your supervisor (for example, regular check-ins or preferred communication methods). In fact, good supervisors often ask their student staff “What expectations do you have of me?” to understand how they can best support you. By openly aligning on expectations from the start, you avoid misunderstandings and set a positive tone of accountability.
Tips for Setting Expectations:
📄 Clarify Roles and Responsibilities: Go over your RA or student staff job description together. Ask questions about anything unclear so you know exactly what tasks and standards you’re accountable for.
🏆 Understand What Success Looks Like: Ask your supervisor how they define excellent performance in your role. For example, what does “building community” or “communicating clearly” look like in practice for them? This helps you target the right goals.
🗣️ Share Your Needs: If you’re new to being supervised, let your supervisor know how they can help you thrive. You might say you appreciate direct feedback, or that you learn best with hands-on examples. Don’t be afraid to articulate what support you hope for. It helps your supervisor help you. If you don’t know, that’s okay, too. Share it as you learn and grow into your role.
Communication is KEY
Effective communication is vital in working with your supervisor. Remember that your supervisor isn’t a mind-reader. If you don’t share how you’re doing or feeling, they won’t know how to help! Strive to be open, honest, and proactive in your communication. Establish early on which channels (email, phone, messaging) and times are appropriate for work-related conversations. Many supervisors are managing multiple priorities, so timely and clear communication from you helps them support you better.
Tips for Communication:
📢 Keep Your Supervisor Informed: Don’t wait for your supervisor to ask. Provide regular updates about important developments on your floor or in your work. For instance, if you handled a minor roommate conflict or you’re planning an event, give them a heads-up. This builds trust and ensures there are no surprises.
❓ Ask Questions and Ask Early: If you’re unsure about something (procedures, expectations, how to handle a resident issue), ASK. Jot down questions as they arise so you can address them in your next one-on-one. (Tip: Keep a running list in the notes app on your phone so you can write them down before you forget them and you’ll always have them on you.) Supervisors would rather clarify things early than have mistakes happen due to miscommunication.
🏃♂️ Adapt to Their Communication Style: Learn your supervisor’s preferred communication style. Do they respond quickest to emails, or do they prefer you stop by their office? Matching their preferences for non-urgent matters shows respect for their time. For urgent issues (like crises), always follow the established protocols.
💼 Practice Professionalism: Communicate with the same professionalism you’d use in any job. That means being polite and respectful in tone, using clear language, and responding to messages or requests in a timely manner. This also means being honest. If you made a mistake or can’t meet a deadline, let your supervisor know early and propose a solution.
One-On-One Supervision Meetings
Most RAs and student staff have regular one-on-one meetings with their supervisors (often weekly or bi-weekly). These supervision meetings are your dedicated time. They’re meant for you to discuss your work, ask questions, and get support. Don’t treat them as just a formality or just a “hang out” time. With a little preparation, your one-on-ones can become one of the most valuable tools in your job.
Why do we have One-On-Ones?
One-on-one time is a space where student staff members are able to connect with their supervisor through personal, professional, and academic updates. One-on-ones help ensure your supervisor is informed about happenings in your building, has timely updates on residents, and allows them to check in to make sure you’re meeting the expectations of your position. One-on-ones are also for you to share with your supervisor how you are doing personally and academically. Supervisors are here to support you in your work and if you don’t share how you’re doing or feeling, they won’t know how to help.
What happens in One-On-Ones?
Different supervisors will structure one-on-ones differently. Some will start with an opportunity to connect, learn how you are doing, and how you are managing your roles as a student and as a staff member. Others may start with the more “tasky” items, such as following up on resident issues, completion of administrative paperwork, and planning for programs, events, or community gatherings. Because you know what your supervisor is going to ask about, spend some time before your one-on-one to get prepared. If you have updates ready, your supervisor will be super impressed. You don’t need to wait until they ask to share what’s going on with you and your community.
Making the Most Out of One-On-Ones:
🗒️ Come Prepared with an Agenda: Prior to each meeting, jot down discussion topics. This can include updates on your floor (resident issues, recent events, upcoming programs), questions you have, any challenges you’re facing, and even your own ideas or initiatives. Having a list ensures you won’t forget important points and shows your supervisor you take the meeting seriously. (Remember that tip about the notes app on your phone that we mentioned earlier? That helps here, too!)
🎉 Share Wins and Challenges: Use this time to highlight what’s going well. For example, if you successfully mediated a conflict or had a great event turnout, let your supervisor know. “Bragging” a little is okay in one-on-ones. It helps your supervisor see your progress and gives you both a chance to celebrate success. Conversely, don’t hide struggles. If you have a tough resident situation or you’re feeling overwhelmed academically, bring it up. Your supervisor can offer advice or resources, but only if they know about the issue.
💭 Ask for Feedback and Input: Your one-on-one is a perfect time to get feedback outside of formal evaluations. You might ask, “How do you think I handled that incident?” or “Any suggestions for my upcoming program?” This not only helps you improve but also shows you value your supervisor’s experience. Likewise, be open to any constructive feedback they share during these meetings.
🎯 Discuss Goals and Development: You can talk about your own development in these meetings. If there are skills you want to build (e.g. public speaking, conflict resolution), ask your supervisor for opportunities or resources. They may help you set goals or involve you in projects that align with your interests. Showing that you’re goal-oriented and eager to learn will likely impress your supervisor.
✅ Follow Up and Follow Through: After each meeting, note any action items: tasks to complete, things to think about, or resources to check out that your supervisor mentioned. Make sure to follow through on these commitments by the next meeting or update your supervisor on your progress. This reliability builds trust. If something wasn’t fully addressed in the meeting (maybe you ran out of time), send a follow-up email with the remaining questions or schedule extra time if needed
“The supervisor/supervisee relationship is really important, and this is a great opportunity for you to cultivate skills for this type of relationship that will benefit your future employment. Your supervisor should have your back, support you, and help you to grow. In return, your supervisor will ask you questions, need information, or request tasks be completed. Ask your supervisor about the purpose of the things they want from you – if you understand the “why” for certain things, you can be more proactive with doing work that meets your supervisor’s needs.”
Building A Relationship With Your Supervisor
Supervisors are people too! It’s important to build rapport and trust with your supervisor. To build that trust, consider taking some time to get to know your supervisor. Breaking down barriers can help you work and communicate better together. Engaging in these types of conversations, however, can be a little bit daunting, especially if you have not worked with this supervisor in the past. Here are some questions that can ask your supervisor during your next meeting:
- How did you get into this role?
- What makes you excited to come to work?
- What is your approach to supervising?
- What do you value most as a supervisor?
- What is something you wish we (your RAs) knew about you?
- What do you do for fun outside of work?
- What is something you have accomplished that you are proud of?
A Note About Boundaries…
Working closely with a supervisor in a residence hall setting can blur the lines between work and personal life, which is why maintaining clear boundaries is essential. These boundaries create mutual respect and help prevent awkward situations. Respect that your supervisor (while friendly and supportive) is not your peer, so a level of formality should remain. Early on, clarify expectations for after-hours communication, such as when it’s appropriate to text versus call, and know the proper channels for emergencies. Be thoughtful about social media connections, and if you choose to connect, maintain a professional presence. Remember, it’s okay to speak up if your’e experiencing challenges with your well-being or academics—just be honest and respectful. Communicate your needs clearly and proactively.
Feedback and Performance Evaluations
This may be one of the first times you’ve ever had a conversation or a formal evaluation of your job performance with a supervisor. These conversations can seem really intimidating if you don’t know what to expect. However, we’ll let you in on a little secret, you are not the only person who is anxious about receiving constructive criticism. Generally, people don’t love being told ways they should consider improving. Yet, when you begin to change your mindset to be open about receiving feedback and recognize the importance of performance evaluations, you can begin looking forward to conversations that focus on personalized ways you can succeed in your role.
Remember that feedback is meant to help you grow. Approach feedback with an open mind rather than defensiveness. Constructive feedback is not a personal attack. It’s a roadmap for improving your skills and performance. By changing your mindset to welcome feedback, you can even start looking forward to conversations about how to succeed in your role.
Tips for Handling Feedback:
👂 Listen Actively: When your supervisor is giving you feedback, listen carefully without interrupting. Take notes if needed. Even if it’s hard to hear, focus on the information, not on any emotion you might feel initially.
🌱 Stay Open and Receptive: Keep your body language and mind open. Avoid becoming defensive or making excuses. Remember that everyone has areas they can improve, and your supervisor’s job is to help you identify those.
💬 Ask Clarifying Questions: If you don’t fully understand the feedback, or need an example, it’s okay to ask questions. For example, “Can you give me an example of what you mean by being more proactive in community building?” This shows you’re engaged and eager to improve.
📈 Make a Plan to Improve: Work with your supervisor on an action plan for any areas of growth. Perhaps you’ll shadow a senior RA for a certain task, or schedule a follow-up in a month to check progress. Showing that you’re acting on feedback demonstrates professionalism.
🔍 Seek Feedback Proactively: Don’t wait for formal evaluations. In your one-on-ones or meetings, ask “How am I doing? Are there any areas I should work on?”. Supervisors appreciate this initiative, and it turns feedback into an ongoing, collaborative process.
Resolving Disagreements
Disagreements or misunderstandings with your supervisor can happen, even in the most positive working relationships, and it’s important to address them professionally and respectfully. Rather than letting frustration build, bring up concerns early in a private, calm conversation using “I” statements to express your perspective without placing blame. Focus on the issue at hand (not the person) and avoid public challenges that might undermine trust. Stay respectful, acknowledge your supervisor’s role, and be open to their reasoning, asking questions to better understand their viewpoint. Aim for collaboration by offering alternative solutions when appropriate, but be prepared to respectfully support their final decision even if you don’t fully agree. If needed, and only in more serious cases (such as ethical concerns), seek guidance from another trusted staff member while following proper channels. Ultimately, resolving conflict well means being proactive, professional, and solution-oriented, all of which help build a stronger, more respectful working relationship.
Questions To Ponder:
- How would you describe your current relationship with your supervisor? Are there ways you wish it would change?
- What do you do to be prepared for your one-on-one meetings?
- Have you asked your supervisor for feedback on your job performance?
RA360 Outcomes:
RAs and student staff members will be able to:
- Describe the type of relationship they hope to have with their supervisor.
- Explain the purpose of one-on-one supervision meetings.
- Apply strategies to have more effective one-on-one meetings with a supervisor.
- Evaluate one’s own work performance and how to improve.
More To Explore
RA360 is a set of resources organized around skills, topics and competencies relevant to Resident Advisors and similar related student staff positions in college and university residence halls.
